Can I respond with, “See my last answer”? LOL

It depends. If it’s a chick, I don’t care. If it’s a dude, just remember my training, and then tell him. ;)

Love you!

Mike…Honey….THAT IS CHEATING. You cop out you……*snort*

I love you too ;)

My answer- (I totally forgot to leave mine, duh)

This is difficult. The problem w/ him hooking back up with an ex is that they have HISTORY. And therefore *feelings* are involved. I think I would prefer him hook p w/ some random person he met. It seems less threatening….

New is the way to go here. As you indicated in your own response, history and old feelings wouldn’t be cool.

~Him

I’m with you — the old flame has history. And history freaks me out more than someone new. So I’d have to go with new based on the history aspect of an old flame.

I would agree with new, unless it’s another chick. Then I don’t really care too much ;)

prolly be easier to have it be with an EX. or maybe a best friend.. so at least i would know where he lived in case i needed to kill him.

giggle

B

I’m going with what seems to be the recurring answer.
If she were to hook up with another woman. I’d be OK with that. Another guy? It should be someone new. As with all the rest, there’s history and feelings involved. Someone new might just be a fling, done and over with, easier to forgive in the long run. If forgiveness is an option.

Okay, i’m going to play devil’s advocate and go against the grain here. If he were to cheat on me, i’d rather it be with an ex (I think) because what draws them together would be history, a sense of friendship, a shared past. With someone new, it would mean that he was out there looking for something different….

Who am I to go against the grain? I feel a “new” flame would be easier to put out than an old smoldering ember. I would be concerned that the comfort level of past lovers would make it very hard for me to accept that it was unintentional, if that were her defense. If it happened “in the moment” with a new person, I could almost get over it. Almost.

I think I might like this game. ;)

I am more than happy to answer this!!! That is the absolute best thing about being a swinger – there is no cheating.

So putting it into my situation how would I feel if we hooked up with someone he or I had been with in the past? I’m going to have to say that as long as we (boyfriend and I) were together (and I got to enjoy her too), it wouldn’t matter to me. I may watch them a little more critically, but as long as I got to play, it would be alright.

I watched Tom kiss AND fuck another woman just last weekend. NOW – if he were to go off and play without me, well hell, that’s a DEAL breaker!

I guess the old flame/ex. It wouldn’t surprise me that she had seen either. I know she ran into/had breakfast with a old flame along time ago and I know I didn’t get the whole truth then. Why push on something that happened when someone was still in High School. I also know she “ran into” her ex once at Target of all places. Unfortunately she had all of our kids. But her description was too negative. Too much of he was fat, he had grey hair. Because she also knew where he worked and a few other tidbits. Please they probably talked for an hour until the kids were coming unglued. Did they meet again ever who knows. It’s possible and I wouldn’t doubt it. Do I want to know? Nope. Does it matter? I honestly think sometimes you need to go on the other side of the fence to see how green your side actually is. What about me? What have I done? The question wasn’t about me it was about the other half.

Since a relationship is / should be built on trust and going either way would break that trust it kinda doesn’t matter. At least for me once trust is broken,it is impossible to fully trust again. However after much thought on this topic and since there is no other choice – i think it would be a tad bit easier with the ex. You can gather more intel on the ex than you can on a complete stranger. Such as sexual history, where they live- in state / out of state, what they look like ect. And yes, I am a digger and would try to dig for as much information as possible.

with someone random for sure. exactly what you said with the history beef, i would leave her ass for sure if it was her x and if it was someone random she woud have some serious ass kissing to take care of. well i might just peace out either way on second thought

I’m very late but in my eyes there is no difference between the two. If she cheats then she cheats. I do not care who it is with, I am not going to trust her. Yes, my trust is that fragile and it is the foundation on which my relationships must stand.

Well it’s probably not cheating in our case, but I would always choose “someone new”.

I would want her to do it with an Ex. For the fact tat they are no longer together it would seem that for whatever reason they were not compatable. Someone new? You just never know. Also, would I be allowed to watch??? If not mine then some one else???

Hi. Just cruising by but this looked interesting so I thought I’d throw in my 2 cents worth. I’d have to go with the ex. Yes, there’s history but a lot of times history gets built up over time. She may have been carrying a small flame for him all these years, which could very well be extinguished when reality doesn’t meet percieved history. I know, what if the flame is fanned instead of extinquished…well, we are talking about cheating here. There’s always that risk.

Michael

This advice is really going to help, thanks.

ex’s have a history and I don’t think I woould like that as much a some random hook up.

Hmmm…. I guess I would have to go with an old flame, ex…., etc… for reasons that someone cited earlier… the existence of a past… whereas a new person could indicate that she is looking for someone else… that would be a bummer… of course, that’s assuming I am involved with anyone… which I am not now…

~shoes~

Definately with a new person. Being with an old flame would most likely involve feelings of love where a new lover would most likely involve the sexual aspects and validating her sense of being attractive and alluring. I have no problems with the latter because her love would still be mine and may even benefit our relationship. The former would damage our relationship.