B

I think the modern fairytale is one of those books where you choose the ending. There is a variety.

I’m not sure the ‘get married, have kids and picket fence’ is the ideal for many, but there are many variations on that theme.

The most important thing is that the woman is in charge of her destiny. If she sits waiting passively for prince charming to come along, she’s likely to get an agressive prince charming, or nothing. In my view, the fairytale ending is most likely to come around if she is ‘out there’, taking control of her life. If she is doing what she wants to do, and then meets the guy/girl she’s already set up. To expect another to come and ‘fix’ your life is unrealistic.

If you actually think about those fairytales, it’s a pretty low chance in reality they’d work. Snow White for instance was enjoying the company of seven men (all with different talents ;) before she fell down dead. Then the prince came along and thought a dead woman in a glass box would be a nice ornament for his castle… apple got dislodged from her throat, she woke up and he proposed (anyone here think he’s a bit odd?) and she ‘willingly’ agreed?!?

I rest my case.

  Alfie

Emma and I were so lucky. First loves, just enough opposition to confirm our love for each other, and the happily ever after ending. The stuff of fairy tales.

  Vixen

B- LOL! You are so right.

  Professor Fate

All the old Disney fairy tales: there isn’t a mother (if there is she is a wicked step mother); the daughter is misunderstood by the father (or the father is dead and the wicked step mother is in charge; and a man come and rescues her. BLAH

Mulan has a mother. She is smart. She seizes her destiny saving her father and rescuing her dreamy man and saves China. Enchanted is the story of an old school fairy tale Princess ending up in New York. She learns to think and becomes more real.

Any woman waiting for a man to fix her life is waiting for a disaster. Women (and men) need to have their shit together before they involve someone else in their life. If you aren’t happy with yourself, why would someone be happy join with you? If you need something to be complete, the relationship will need something to be complete. One day you’ll realize that he or she hasn’t completed your life and you’ll have to start your search fro happily ever after all over again. [I know. I married her.]

  Vixen

Prof Fate- ok. good point and very well said. btw, I ADORE “Enchanted” it’s probably one of my all time favorite movies. I can quote almost the entire thing, lol.

But I think everyone is missing my point. *OF COURSE* there aren’t real life fairy tale endings. I was talking more about the ‘dream’, the all American dream of marriage, kids, house…all perfect like. Do ALL women want it? Bc I think in this day and age, they Don’t. It’s changed.

  M

LOL…I love that B!!

Do I want happily ever after?? Hell freakin yes!

Do I think I will actually get it?? Eh, the jury’s still out on that one.

I’m with a man who is decent to me but a great father. Am I happy? ..sometimes. Can it get better? Who knows??

I think it’s my fear of change that holds me back from searching for my Happily Ever After. What if the grass really isn’t greener?

  Dana

Happily ever after? I think my definition of “happily ever after” has changed over the years. I’m old enough (i.e. cynical) to know that life is never always happy- the happiness comes from overcoming the hurdles thrown your way and being better for it.

That’s all I want any more – I know better than to think life is always giggles and smiles.

  Biscuit

Yes, I wanted the fairytale. My first try didn’t go so well, either. *LOL*

  Elisa

Well, I don’t think happiness depends on a prince lol. I certainly didn’t marry Prince Charming. Some days I’m happy, some days not. My thought is that marriage takes work and I’ll be honest w/ ya, sista, I don’t work at it with him either. I think I’ve kind of given up and just started to exist with him.

So what was the question again? LOL

  Stiletto Reflections

I think everyone’s ‘happy’ is different. Of course we all want to be happy and have our happy ending, but my happy ending is not the same as yours nor the next person’s or the next. I think it starts with us being happy with ourselves, then it just seems lots of the other stuff falls into place.
I think women want to be more independent nowadays. Trade the picket fence for self-support etc etc. But we still want it all as in the old days – we just want control of this in this day & age. LOL

  Lolita

Yep, every girl grows up wanting the “fairytale”. I think some of us just get sick of waiting for it, knowing that it’s just not in the cards for them, we become bitter about it and just take it as it is and realize that fairytales are just that– fairytales. :)

  Angel

Good subject, I have been debating this question myself.
We all grow up with that fairytale of Prince Charming, and then along comes reality and everything we hoped for is crushed. Then it is up to us to make our own happiness. This is how it should be from the beginning..
We also have this false view of what we think marriage should or will be, only to realize once again, we were mistaken. It is a sad realization.. Again, we can not count on anyone else for our own happiness..