Comments on: Sex is like air; it’s not important unless you aren’t getting any -CQW

By: Fantasia

Fantasia — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 03:44:13 +0000

Why get married?? why is that always the “goal”?
There are other lifestyle choices today no?

By: breve

breve — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 14:12:07 +0000

I agree with you Vixen; this needs to be resolved before the “I do” are exchanged. My view is that if one partner thinks there is a problem….then there is a problem!! He needs to at least recognize and validate her concerns. To me it is always a red flag when one partner dismisses the concerns of another. I do agree with Dana as well…..it is not clear cut. How much sex are they having? I am thinking if they are already having sex 4 times a week and she wants sex every day or several times a day, then….well, damn girl count your blessings and be quiet!!! LOL!!!

By: ms.inconspicuous

ms.inconspicuous — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 02:26:40 +0000

No problem. If anything comes out of my experiences, it’s the small hope that they can help someone else: whether it’s preventing a mistake, or reassuring them that it’s not a mistake, or even making someone feel a little less alone. :)

People generally don’t talk much about males with low libidos, and when they do, there’s the assumption that there’s something “wrong” with them (have you gotten their hormone levels checked?, etc.). Women with low libidos do not tend to attract a second glance–it’s considered a “norm”.

We all come in a variety of libidos–none are more right or more wrong. It’s just how we’re made. Finding compatible partners is made more difficult by the societal assumption that men will always–always–want more sex than women. It’s a dangerous train of thought to buy into.

By: Zephyr

Zephyr — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 00:49:18 +0000

Since we have already determined that she wants more of the physical aspect of the act as opposed to the emotional connection, we need to look at *why* there sex life has deterioated. Do they work too much? Aer they having problems connection on a non-intimate level? Is the impending wedding causing too much stress? Were they maybe somewhat *pushed* into the engadgement(family, friends, ect.)?

It’s only after knowing all aspects of the situation that we can try and solve the issue.

Like others before me have said, communication is key here.

Maybe instead of calling the wedding off they take seperate vacations and spend some “me time” reflection on the situation before discussing it again.

By: Vixen

Vixen — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 20:49:16 +0000

Angel- I think you said it all with your last statement

Either way.. don’t ever say those vows if there are ANY issues to work out, marriage in itself creates them without having them going in..

By: Vixen

Vixen — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 20:48:10 +0000

Prof Fate- What you said here…

If they are having troubles while they are still under the influence of these powerful behavior changing chemicals, I don’t think it bodes well for their future. The need to solve this issues before they proceed.

I think that is a very good point.

By: Vixen

Vixen — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 20:46:30 +0000

Ms.I- hope you didn’t feel called out on this. I really do appreciate you giving your input and insight on this.

By: Vixen

Vixen — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 20:45:50 +0000

Felicia- that is true too. Thanks. :)

By: Vixen

Vixen — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 20:45:29 +0000

Biscuit- you know. I have also thought of this. It’s easy for him to feel threatened. Ramp it up, as you said. And then things slowly die down again.

Good point.

By: Felicia

Felicia — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 20:34:46 +0000

I agree that this definately needs to be resolved before getting married. But I alo see Buscuit’s point. Simply pushing him to have more sex may be only a short term resolution and lead to negetive feelings in the long run. Maybe a solution could be finding something hot and new to make him crave sex the way she does. I’m not at all saying that she isn’t doing a good job at seducing her fiance, but sometimes new and different is needed to bring back the excitement and thirst.