What’s her BF do in Iraq? Seriously, I think it matters if he’s an infantrymen out patrolling the streets, dealing with the day-to-day stress of being a target in a hostile area, or if he’s in a support role, working in the Green Zone and not having to wear body armor (out of necessity) everywhere he goes. The stress level can vary markedly depending on what you’re going there.

Yes, she owes it to herself to be happy, and if that means breaking up with him, so be it. But given his current circumstance, I hope she’d think long and hard about how she’s do it and the timing.

This really is a tough one, with no easy answer.

[Full disclosure- just yesterday I had to sit through a mandatory suicide prevention class and one of the examples was of a deployed soldier who just got a "Dear John" e-mail from his girlfriend back home, and that was the trigger that sent him on a downward spiral. Perhaps overly dramatic, but based in reality, so it's biasing my viewpoint here.]

I’m with Hubman – it does matter what BF is doing in Iraq.

It’s never easy to let go of a relationship, and when doing that can impact the lives and safety of others, it needs to be well planned and well timed.

It’s just a year …

I think it better that she break up with him then keep the title yet not the status – in other words, if she is going to go out as if she were single and just not tell the guy until he gets back then that could be worse. Guys have a hard enough time returning and getting back into every day life.

My sister’s to-be-husband-on-Friday just got back from his third tour and my sister and her military wife/gf friends were always advised to wait because of the stress. But like a few others said, if depends on the job and their guys had the really stressful scary jobs.

I couldn’t imagine anything much worse that dreaming about a gf for a year and returning home and finding out a year ago she dumped me, didn’t tell me, and supposedly kept me in the dark for my benefit.

I’d be ticked. Specially if I was faithful to you during that time while you moved on and lied to me the whole time about caring for me.

Without question, she should wait. Not wanting to put “her life on hold” is an inane pathetic excuse. 90% of her life can go on as normal and it’s NOT much of a wait.

With today’s troop rotations, it’s EXTREMELY doubtful she’d even have to wait for a year.

HORSIE SEX FACTS at the Troll Report today!

Is there any chance she’ll want him back? If not, she should move on with her life. She can tell him later.

Good afternoon Vixen,

If she had doubts, she should have told him pre-deployment. Now she should wait.

Hi ~ put yourself in his shoes. Would you prefer an e mail/text/letter or wait until you returned to hear the bad news from the horses mouth so to speak? Like ya said, he’s fightin for his country, the thought of you breaking up with him, might sway which way he shoots his gun and at who, should his mind be troubled by the ‘bad news.’ Either way he’s goin to be pissed off at you, and yes life does go on… I know what I’d do… tell him when he comes home. Give him time to adjust… good luck!

I think there are better ways to break up than through email. And what does it really mean for her to move on with her life–date other guys? If she wants to move on, she can. But she should be cautious of sending her BF into a downward spiral.

i would think having a serious relationship end while away in that capacity (my ex hus. is military too) would be very stressful. i can see both sides here and think it’s also hard to be the person waiting, but whatever she does, she needs to do it with as much sensitivity as possible.

What a tough situation….

If I were the boyfriend I suppose I would want to know right away how the s/o was feeling…

However, she probably should have told him before he left for duty. I suppose I wouldn’t want the lingering of a breakup lingering over my head for a year or however long his tour of duty was going to be. Despite that, she can still live her life the way she pleases.

I think in normal circumstances the proper way is to tell someone in person, but…I am not sure if this is a normal circumstance….

Eeep! I don’t know what to think!