NY Diva

I agree that if someone is going to cheat, they’re going to cheat. Now, certain circumstances can hurry that along or make it more likely to happen, like the cheater having a gigantic ego or high amount of power, a general feeling of invincibility, and people throwing themselves at them. It has almost nothing to do with attractiveness (or the attractiveness of your partner, see also: any Jerry Springer episode).

  Chef Troll

Clever questions, as per usual. I agree with your statement that if you’re going to cheat, you’re going to cheat. I think the “women throwing themselves at you cause you’re famous” just means certain people like Tiger will cheat MORE OFTEN with a greater number of strumpets.

It brings up the old question:

Which would be harder to forgive? An actual long-term affair with ONE person where there was love involved, or a series of meaningless trysts (ala Tiger) with bimbos?

  PC

I really don’t think there’s that much to the whole attractive/unattractive thing. I’ve seen guys cheat on their beautiful wives with fugly girls.

There’s always something missing that prompts a person to cheat. Now, whether or not the person will cheat is due to a lot of circumstances. There’s a rationalization that has to probably occur. But in the end, the individual is looking for something that he/she feels is missing.

  ~K

yeah its all bullshit… I never cheated on my ex once in 20 years. I know I am not the shit, but I am not Quasimodo either (oh and for the record my ex is far more attractive than I am). I am a one woman man because it is the way I am wired. It may be how I was brought up, but when my heart is committed it is committed and I try hard no matter what because I am a stupidly hopeless romantic and I want reciprocation. When it guys like Tiger Woods do shit like this it kinda pisses me off because it casts aspersions on us all men like we are all pigs who want mistresses and porn stars. Believe it or not some of us just want love.

Here is the deal we all have our crosses to bear. Our own temptations. For example, I am not rich so my temptations might be to avoid theft, speaking bad of others, and even cheating to a degree, but I don’t have to worry about women throwing themselves at me for my money and power. The rich might not have to worry about bills, or if the car is going to start the next day, but people/women are going to be after them for what they posses financially. I point this out because we are all responsible for learning to accept and deal with our own temptations given our station in life. How we accept deal with those temptations says everything about who we are and what our character is.There is an old Farmer’s saying “Character is doing the right thing even when no one is looking”. Now I never robbed a bank to deal with my situation (not that I haven’t considered it) and granted robbing a bank is illegal and fucking around isn’t. Still my situation is far more desperate than Tiger’s and yet my choices remain the same. Simply put I have to wonder while Tiger’s dad was spending so much time teaching him how to reach the green if maybe he shouldn’t have spent more time teaching him how to stay out of the rough!

  Westcoast Weirdo

I don’t think it has anything to do with looks, but rather what everyone else is saying. I also think a huge part of the celebrity-life is that a lot were raised with getting everything they wanted, no rules, no discipline, it’s ok to be rude to others/be disrespectful. Us “normal folk” are more humbled, KWIM? I do think being famous (not good looking) makes it EASIER though – at least doing it with hotties, lol!!
Quicksilver thinks that if a woman marries a famous guy, infidelity shouldn’t ‘surprise’ her. That, sure she can be pissed off and divorce him, but not be like “OMG you cheated on me!” I would approach it differently, I’d be like – if you’re cheating on me, I’m cheating on you. Might as well have an open marriage, lol. Like Will & Jada Smith – see, they’re still together! LOLOL

  Professor Fate

Cheater will cheat. No cheaters will be tempted.

If Elin (or Jennifer Aniston or Rachel Hunter) cannot keep a man from cheating, then fidelity must not be about “hotness.” I think sex in a relationship is a barometer of that relationship. I doubt the cheating caused the “collapse” of any of the relationships above.

I say “The Invention of Lying” this summer and combined with the study reported above, I think that “attractive” people generally develop a more superficial view of the world. How many famous/hollywood marriages fail? ["A marriage is a success in Hollywood if it outlasts milk." - Rita Rudner.] I can think of very few that have lasted 20 years – Paul Newman & Joanne Woodward, Tom & Rita Hanks, Danny Divito & Rhea Pearlman, John Travlota & Kelly Preston. I am sure there are a few more who were married in the 80′s or earlier but they are counter-balanced by Britney’s two before she was 25.

p.s. Hearing the public stories about Tiger lead me to the conclusion that it is a good thing he is famous, because he ain’t got game when it it comes to the ladies.

  ms.inconspicuous

I speak from absolute experience: attractiveness has zero–ZERO–influence on fidelity.

Even though you include the caveat that women cheat too, it’s been increasingly accepted that women cheat *as much* as men…and the whole unattractive man/hot women theory doesn’t hold water.

  Vixen

NY Diva- I think you are right, certain circumstances can hurry along something inevitable. Or make something like infidelity more tempting.

Chef Troll- ah….I like what you said here

“will cheat MORE OFTEN with a greater number of strumpets”

And yes, the age old question. A good one.

  Vixen

PC- very good point. I know of the same- someone with a super hot spouse cheating on someone um…less so. ;) Course that always makes the one cheated on feel better. Hehe…

I agree. When someone cheats it usually means something is missing….combined with wanting what you don’t have possibly.

  Vixen

K- YES! Totally agree with what you said. I love your analogy and that we all are responsible for learning to accept and deal with our own temptations given our station in life. Very well put. Thanks for the added input!

Roxy- hmm…not sure I really agree with the whole ‘shouldn’t be surprised when they get cheated on’. That almost gives them an ‘ok’ to do it. “What you knew I would?!”. Being famous shouldn’t give you an excuse to cheat. And being with someone famous shouldn’t make it ok for them too…. But knowing Quicksilver like I do- I totally get how he would say that and where he’s coming from ;)

Oh. And no one in their right mind would cheat on you. Don’t cross Roxy! Hehehe ;)

  Vixen

Prof Fate- agreed, from what I hear and the more I learn, he’s def not got any game. Doh!

  Paul

Humans are animals and most male animals have multiple partners. Men are wired to (and are physically able to) mate with multiple women in order to increase our chances of passing on our genes to offspring. Society has developed rules (monogamy for example) that go against how we’re wired. Some men follow the rules better than others. Of course that doesn’t excuse anyone who cheats (as it’s not considerate), but I think it’s important to realize that we’re all animals who sometimes act like them. The fact that so many people cheat probably means we’re genetically programmed to do it.
The fact that she’s hot doesn’t mean he won’t cheat either. She’s probably not so hot when she wakes up in the morning with no make-up and then yells at Tiger to take out the trash and change dirty diapers. I imagine that Tiger would stop seeing a mistress who nagged him about day-to-day crap. I think the appeal of a mistress is that the day-to-day crap that you deal with with your wife doesn’t exist with a mistress, and if it did, you’d just move on to the next one etc. It sounds like I condone cheating, which I really don’t, but I can see why people do it.