Home For The Holidays ~CQW
posted by: Vixen
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This was brought up right before Christmas but I didn’t have the time to post it in time for the holidays. It’s still an interesting topic though and am interested on your views.
Jen and Nate have been married for three years. Every year for the holidays they go out of state to visit Jen’s family. She has a big family with many traditions and they are quite strict about adhering to them. One of them is that even though Jen and Nate are married, they sleep in separate beds/bedrooms the entire time they are visiting her parents.
Bc of the amount of people staying in the house and all the different holiday activities, Jen and Nate get to spend very little time together during these visits. Nate wanted to get a hotel this year so that they could have some one on one time and while it might be very busy during they day, he would at least get to spend some time with his wife at night. This is his only vacation that he will get to take this year and he would like to enjoy it. Jen says he’s being selfish and only wants sex and that is why he is pushing for the hotel. Not only is she annoyed at his ‘selfishness’ (her words), she is really worried this will break her parents heart. That they are elderly and really look forward to having the entire family together, in their family home, for the holidays.
What’s the solution? Should Nate suck it up and spend the holidays sleeping alone to appease his wife and IL’s?
My opinion- I feel as if they should talk with Jen’s parents. Let them know that this is Nate’s only vacation (I do feel that this is an important point) and they would like to both enjoy it but having to sleep separately bothers them. I think I would present it as a choice to the parents- ask if they can share a bedroom and if that isn’t feasible then they will want to stay in a hotel room. It may sound like an ultimatium but I don’t blame Nate one bit. He goes to stay with Jen’s family every year for holidays, this is something he does for her, bc he knows how much she enjoys being with her family. Admittantly, he loves many of their traditional ways too. I think it’s perfectly fine for them to request this of Jen’s parents and if they aren’t willing to bend on their rule, then yes, book a hotel room. I can’t imagine going on vacation with my husband and not getting to snuggle/sleep with him every night.
Thoughts?
******
Happy HUMP Day!!!
~ xo
Vixen
~K Says:
January 6th, 2010 at 3:23 am
Her parents are a married couple..do they sleep in separate beds when everyone is over? Do they not respect the institution of marriage, and so what if he just wants sex? Some women would die to be in her shoes where their husband still desires them. Furthermore, doesn’t Nate have family? Yet every Christmas they go to HER family! I am sorry I must have missed it here…who is being selfish again? She is acting like a spoiled brat and there is NOTHING wrong with visiting relatives and staying in a hotel that is a perfectly reasonable compromise. Seriously, they should figure this one out or I don’t see them making it to seven years.
PC Says:January 6th, 2010 at 7:13 am
Jen needs her head checked. They won’t last much longer unless she changes. When she chose to accept that ring on her finger, she opted to leave her mother and father and be one with her husband.
As for the parents… that’s not even an old fashioned tradition. Talk about looney.
Westcoast Weirdo Says:January 6th, 2010 at 8:48 am
I saw this somewhere…;) I think it’s retarded. They are married. Parent’s are being lame. I totally agree with K and PC. Chick shouldn’t have gotten married if she wants to still act like a little girl.
Kara Says:January 6th, 2010 at 10:06 am
I have to agree with your opinion Vixen. Even my parents don’t hassle Me & Jess when we sleep in the same bed together and we visit them at least once a month. They know we’re living together and sleep in the same bed every night. Jess is my girlfriend and I would just tell them that have to deal with it if there was a problem. Kara XOXO
The Panserbjørne Says:January 6th, 2010 at 10:45 am
Nate is bending over backwards for Jen by visiting her parents every year for Christmas and accepting their (incredibly outdated, old-fashioned, ridiculously restrictive) “requirements” about sleeping alone. He is not being unreasonable to want privacy of their own over the holiday. Jen is being stubborn and selfish.
Although I think Nate would be justified in just saying “a hotel or I don’t go”, I think your own solution is perhaps less likely to ruffle feathers. Presented as a reasonable request with a “the hotel is a last option”, her parents may be willing to unbend a little. Hell, it’s only for a couple of days, it isn’t the end of the world.
Just my two thinks. I’m dating a girl whose parents are old-fashioned as well, so I don’t get to sleep with her when we visit them. My parents, on the other hand, don’t give a damn….
– PB
Troll Says:January 6th, 2010 at 12:22 pm
Totally and completely on Nate’s side on this one.
Vegetarian Throwdown Dish at TTR. Come to praise!
Joker_SATX Says:January 6th, 2010 at 1:55 pm
I would tell Jen’s parents to stick it where the sun doesn’t shine when the topic of Grandchilden come up.
“Oh, you want Grandkids? So sorry…separate bedrooms you know.”
If it were me in Nate’s place I would not only get myself a hotel room, I would tell Jen that she has to stay with her parents (house rules y’know)and I would go out drinkin for the night to see what kind of trouble I could get myself into….
But hey…that’s just me.
NY Diva Says:January 6th, 2010 at 4:54 pm
I’ve heard of similar situations and it seems so weird to me that people make such a fuss over having the entire family sleep in one house anyway. Why? Because you’re all paying so much attention to each other while you’re asleep? What’s the harm in sleeping in a hotel room- for privacy and comfort’s sake especially! They can spend all waking hours with the family, it shouldn’t be that big of a deal.
Barefoot Dreaming Says:January 6th, 2010 at 6:27 pm
I think they should give it a try – nothing has to be permanent. But, it is completely unfair to hubby to not listen and try to compromise.
Ms Scarlett Says:January 7th, 2010 at 2:59 pm
I think the most important point here is that they are a MARRIED couple… and her parents expect them to sleep separately? WTF kind of nonsense is that?
Girlfriend needs to grow the hell up and take her husband’s needs and feelings into account.