No boys allowed ~CQW
posted by: Vixen
(click the button for more info, email me if you have any great ideas for a topic, I’d love tho hear from you!)
Ok. So your friend asks you to join her on a GIRLS wkend. She makes fabulous plans for five of you- daytime activities, dinner reservations, a bit of clubbing. Several of the friends say “Yay! A girls only weekend, my husband can’t wait to come!”. Um…what? They stated that ‘they just don’t spend time apart’ and showed up with their husbands in tow. As the friend who planned the ‘girls only’ weekend, are you understanding or upset?
To clarify (doh), this has nothing to do with me. It’s something that came up on a reality TV show I’m almost too embarrassed to tell you I watch (Real Housewives of Orange County). I personally would be pissed. Really? REALLY you must be attached to your spouse’s side 24/7, you can’t get away to have some fun with your girls with out your husband holding your hand??? That screams insecurity and control issues to me. I feel the same way about the parent that can’t leave their child. It’s healthy to have a life outside of BEING A WIFE, BEING A MOM. If you are invited on a girls only getaway and can’t leave your spouse behind- stay home! Don’t bring him along and spoil everyone else’s fun, most especially the host! If you were invited on adult only vacation would you bring your kids along then too? Nevermind….probably these inconsiderate women would…. *shaking head*
PC doesn’t ‘restrict’ me in any way. I don’t ever feel as if I need to ‘get away from him’. I drag him on all my nights out. I mean, the man has POCKETS! A huge thing that came up while preparing for our Vegas trip is where do we put all our crap w/o PC along to hold it all for us?! *LOL* Seriously though, kidding aside, my 2 bestest friends and I are going on this girls only trip. This will be the first ever for all 3 of us and we are *giddy* with excitement bc it’s a new and fun experience. And while I will wholeheartedly miss PC, I don’t feel as if our marriage and relationship will be ‘damaged’ bc I went away with my girls. Which is how the women on the show made it seem might happen, or that w/o their husbands standing ‘guard’ over them infidelity might ‘happen to them’ (like it’s something you catch and have no control over). Good lord. Give me a break.
*rolling my eyes*
So understanding or upset?
******
Happy HUMP Day!!!
~ xo
Vixen
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January 20th, 2010 at 12:29 am
I love it when my wife goes away without me. It’s good for her and gives her things to tell me about afterward.
Westcoast WeirdoJanuary 20th, 2010 at 7:21 am
It’s extremely rude. BTW – Mike is meeting us out there.
…*snort* J/K!
PCJanuary 20th, 2010 at 7:51 am
So… where to begin? I never feel as if I need a break from you or the kids. So the thought of needing a vacation or time away from you guys just never occurs to me. Frankly, I feel a bit lost without you.
Having said that, I like the idea of you being able to get away to be with your friends. I want you to have fun. That way, you can come back and tell me all about how you wish I was there for my pockets ;)
Barefoot DreamingJanuary 20th, 2010 at 8:02 am
my parents have this rule. they don’t go somewhere without the others – they watched too many of their friends stray I guess and it of course always happened when they were separated. I always thought it was a good rule and hubby and I used to do it too – but now, it is as you said – not necessary. It limits your possibilities of what you can do.
I enjoy having my hubby around when I do things but have a great time without him too. My Vegas trip was the first time away somewhere unfamiliar without him – to be honest I was scared (a bit) but it was a very empowering experience.
You are right – it is rude to the others too.
RachJanuary 20th, 2010 at 8:04 am
I never understand not being able to leave a partner, and not having your own independent experiences. Sure, you miss the person (hopefully), but that’s not a bad thing. Plus, on returning, the sex can be pretty good! I’d be a little miffed personally if I’d planned the trip!
The PanserbjørneJanuary 20th, 2010 at 8:20 am
Annoyed. Very annoyed. What part of “girls only” was not understood?
And this is coming from a guy’s perspective!
– PB
Professor FateJanuary 20th, 2010 at 9:43 am
I think reality shows have very little basis in reality, but if this is a real problem it could have been solved with a little communication.
Why do you bring some one to a party (one with dinner reservations) without telling the hostess?
p.s. Your relationship shouldn’t be damaged as long as you remember what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.
Chef TrollJanuary 20th, 2010 at 9:45 am
Troll County Fun Facts:
Until 1986, it was illegal for an unaccompanied (by a man) females to sit at a bar. And to walk up to the bar to order beverages for themselves.
Surprisingly, God did not rain fire-and-brimstone down upon us when that law was repealed.
He’s merciful.
Chef TrollJanuary 20th, 2010 at 9:45 am
Troll County Fun Facts:
Until 1986, it was illegal for unaccompanied (by a man) females to sit at a bar. And to walk up to the bar to order beverages for themselves.
Surprisingly, God did not rain fire-and-brimstone down upon us when that law was repealed.
He’s merciful.
southerngirlJanuary 20th, 2010 at 12:22 pm
All things in balance… But I do think if it’s a girl’s weekend then that should be sacred and she should honor that time. But I have always had a tough time getting the clingy types and that goes for couple friends and girlfriends (reeks of insecurities to me).
xx
nitebyrdJanuary 20th, 2010 at 2:01 pm
I would be VERY upset. A healthy relationship gives each person time alone, time to pursue different interests. I wouldn’t go if someone decided to bring their spouse on a “girls weekend.”
Like co-ed bridal and baby showers – WTF?
Ms ScarlettJanuary 20th, 2010 at 4:53 pm
I’d be pissed if I was the hostess. Unless their hubbies have grown vaginas, they have no business coming along!
MaggieJanuary 20th, 2010 at 5:18 pm
Upset! When you invite a friend you are inviting her, not her plus one, and it’s totally rude to just bring her husband when it’s specifically just the girls. Bringing along significant others changes the dynamic of the group whether you mean for it to or not.
ruschJanuary 20th, 2010 at 5:22 pm
What if S/O or “husband” is a female?
VixenJanuary 20th, 2010 at 9:33 pm
rusch- Well, I think that may or may not change things depending on the relationship.
VixenJanuary 20th, 2010 at 9:34 pm
PC- *giggle* You know how it is…. ;)
VixenJanuary 20th, 2010 at 9:37 pm
Rach- I *totally* agree!!!
The Panserbjørne- THANK YOU!
Prof Fate- I hesitated to even mention that I saw this on a reality show, lol. But I’ve heard of this issue coming up with several couples and decided to kind of combine emails I’ve gotten.
VixenJanuary 20th, 2010 at 9:38 pm
Maggie- I completely agree with what you said about the dynamic changing!
sugarmagJanuary 20th, 2010 at 11:56 pm
I would be pissed. What part of girls only don’t they understand? And yes the dynamic, completely different.