Becoming a cuckold (pt. 1)
posted by: PC
Who knew Vixen’s latest trips to Vegas and my reactions would generate so much feedback and interest? Actually, I sort of had an idea a while ago.
There is so much that is regarded as taboo that can be quite sexually stimulating when you allow it. The problem is we’re so pre-programmed that we often avoid fun and excitement. The sad part is we’ll do and make our spouses less fulfilled in the process. The issue isn’t to force things upon our mates. It’s to explore possibilities– together. And that’s really the key. Another important factor is making sure you’re not in a quid pro quo relationship. Sure you might be able to make some things work. But what happens when you actually hit up against a wall that your spouse can’t go beyond? Are you going to hold your mate hostage until you get what you want? These are just some of the things I’ve had to personally deal with over recent weeks.
When Vixen and I first discussed the topic of cuckolding, it was very strange and awkward. I can’t say that I was actually into it. And she didn’t even know what it was. This is what we knew at the time:
- I was into the idea of kink, but didn’t know what I really liked. Bondage sounded good to me– not so much to her
- Vixen had been in a fairly controlling relationship, so being jealous of things was never going to resonate well with her
- She has a lot of anxieties– so getting her to open up to new things is beyond difficult
- She’s very passive-aggressive
- I am expected to be in charge and a leader during my day-to-day life, which gets to be quite taxing
- She loves to flirt
- She loves to be flirted with
- She loves to be pursued and hates to pursue (except when it came to me)
- She’s into girls and not guys
- Okay, she hates to admit that she does get turned on by some guys (but don’t tell anyone)
With those things in mind, we talked about swinging and things like that. What we found out was she was very open to the subject, as long as I didn’t do any actual swinging. Hmm… that didn’t sound like swinging to me. That was something all together different. But we still didn’t know what to call it– perhaps “one way hinge”.
During the course of these discussions, we actually found something that she was really into. She loved the idea of telling me to do anything she wanted and I couldn’t say “no”. This was a huge discovery, especially if we could figure out a way to exploit it. Needless to say, the first few ideas were a bit less than convenient, especially for me. But it might give you an insight into how her mind works.
Bearing in mind that Vixen enjoys women and that so many of the women we’ve come across are married, she came up with her “circumstances” request of me. There was the chance that we might come across a couple, consisting of a bi-sexual woman. Well, she wanted me to run interference for her with the guy. Seriously! That’s what she wanted of me. Now, go back to the previous paragraph for review. A new found turn on for her was to tell me to do something and for me to go along with it.
Well, this concept was a huge stretch for me. Basically, she was asking me to be bi or to do bi-sexual acts myself, which I was not sure I was okay with. It was one thing for her to do things, it was another for me. I can remember when this came up. It was around the time Casino Royale came out with the new James Bond. The reason I know that is it was the first movie we ever went to together. And after the movie was over, she marveled at me bragging about the new guy. He was the first believable James Bond since Sean Connery. But he also had this build… Anyway, you get the idea. She found an opening and began teasing me with it, which I resented at first. I fought her teasings with all my might. But she ended things by asking me to at least keep an open mind. I felt that was a reasonable request on her part and so I agreed.
As time passed, she began exploring the idea of “circumstances” more and more. It wasn’t always in the context of me running interference for her. She changed things slightly. She began to discuss the possibility of her being with the guy too and with me sitting there all tied up and helpless. All I could do was watch her. That started to get me a bit excited. My hot wife getting it on with a couple, especially with another guy, was a tremendous turn on for me. And so we began discussing it further and further. Eventually, she added new dimensions to it.
Up until recently, this has pretty much been the extent of our discussions. She has trained me well over the past couple of years. When we first met, I really didn’t even care for sex. I was a night time sex person at best. I had so many anxieties associated with it. I didn’t mind doing other things. But intercourse was not my thing. She, on the other hand, was into morning sex, afternoon sex, etc. Basically, she wanted sex all the time.
This was a problem for us for a couple of reasons. Apart from the lack of libido on my part, I was a morning person and she was a night owl. She was never really ready for sex until I was already asleep or on the verge of it. This created a lot of tension at one point. And I felt guilty and started to take it out on her. But when you love someone, you try to find ways to adapt and to cope to please your mate. In my case, I had to deal with more sex. And not only that, but I had to deal with the fact that I wasn’t always that great at recovering to have multiple orgasms a day. One was enough to leave me feeling quite drained and not very clear headed.
Over time, my routine has morphed considerably. It’s not really important how we do foreplay. What’s important is that we do it, and during the middle of the day. But in order to handle the part of me getting horribly tired, she added a new dimension. I was only allowed to cum on command. Okay, this is like herding ducks. But in keeping with her turn underlying turn on, we tried this. And we tried it some more. You know what? We’ve gotten pretty good at it. I am only allowed to cum during our night time sessions. And if I don’t stay awake to have them, then it’s my loss. Because during the day time, I am expected to service her at least once or twice. We cannot stop any session until she has at least two orgasms. And for me…
Well, I am getting slowly introduced into this new world of watching and assisting my wife in her being pleasured. And that’s giving me a new high, which lasts a lot longer than I ever expected. Sure, so far we’re talking about orgasm denial and about her being pleased by another man. We haven’t gone down the other paths yet. Perhaps there’s no need for it. The point is we’ve found something that apparently works for both of us. And we’re starting to experiment a bit.
Would I like to watch her? I think so. You never really know how you’re gonna feel about something until after it’s over. The problem with going to the next level is that I can come across as a bit intimidating. I can’t really imagine someone skinny calling me a bitch. As Vixen has put it, I will definitely have to be tied up– probably so the other guy will be comfortable.
For me, it’s simple. I made her a promise to not tell her “no”. It’s not always the easiest thing to live up to. But I love trying and devoting myself to my wife.
~PC
******
TFT is UP. Oddly/amazingly enough we have almost as many guy contributors this week as we do girls. Hmm… Will wonders ever cease! Women, step it up (lol)! Anyway, go check it out!
The site is always looking for contributors. If you’ve thought about wanting to do it- there is no time like the present! If you have before but it’s been awhile- we miss you! All you have to do to help support our troops is EMAIL ME! Help boost some morale!
~ xo
Vixen
Maggie Says:
February 9th, 2010 at 4:39 am
Best wishes on your journey, sounds like you’re doing well so far!
Haiku Master Says:February 9th, 2010 at 7:00 am
(3) Was a surprise to me.
Vixen Says:February 9th, 2010 at 8:10 am
Troll, really? LOL I must be good at disguising it ;)
~K Says:February 9th, 2010 at 8:20 am
I admit I struggle with this whole topic. I know you cannot hold a woman as beautiful and outgoing as Vixen as a possession. Still I would always wonder why I am not enough?
I know it is your thing and not my thing, but it makes me squirm in my seat for some reason. I mean if she is free to be adulterous then I would think the same would hold true for you. Perhaps you are very confident in how you “stack up” etc. etc. still it just all seems so very risky when you two have such a good thing going. I mean can’t it just be the idea of it? Isn’t just flirting at the edge but not going all the way enough? I know maybe my ideas seem very close minded and traditional, and it is true I may be superimposing my values on your relationship. Still I can’t help but think its not all that it is cracked up to be. Isn’t the real challenge keeping the excitement going within a monogamous relationship?
Don’t get me wrong I am not preaching and I know you are going to do what you are going to do and I am not judging. I am just expressing how I see it, and I don’t know that it is a completely comfortable thing for you two and that is maybe what you dig to feel a little uncomfortable in your relationship and that in turn makes it more intense. However, if there is any question on either of your parts maybe cuckolding isn’t the answer.
~K Says:February 9th, 2010 at 8:25 am
P.S. that picture you selected is a TOTAL turn on!
PC Says:February 9th, 2010 at 8:57 am
K – actually, I think it only works because of confidence and satisfaction.
If I truly felt inadequate, which is the basis for much cuckolding, then I might be inclined to be jealous and insecure.
Likewise, if I was truly not enough, then she would be more inclined to just cheat or do her own thing. And that just isn’t her at all.
The turn for me isn’t with respect to her being with another man. That’s missing it.
The turn on is the trust that we have with each other. I extend a certain amount of trust to her to test certain waters. She, in turn, tests my trust by watching my reaction as she fills me in on the details.
Now, Sunday she was in quite a fog and simply wanted to cuddle and pass out. But yesterday was a very different story. Yesterday, she had me write my thoughts on this subject, which I did. Apparently, my description was a bit over the top and she felt it necessary to do a little editing. Bear in mind that I’m supposed to be more conservative than her. So when I can make her that kind of uncomfortable, I consider it a real score.
Anyway, let’s just say the sex was amazing last night.
You’re certainly right about the risk. Vixen is amazingly beautiful, inside and out. And this isn’t something that she just does. She’s simply not wired that way. What prompted her to choose YM is beyond my comprehension. She has had some guys take an interest in her that make me second guess myself. She shows no interest. Perhaps she doesn’t want me to feel threatened. I don’t really know.
At the end of the day, I don’t feel like less of man. Quite the contrary. I feel as if no one can take care of and satisfy Vixen better than me.
~K Says:February 9th, 2010 at 9:42 am
I think I understand…but I have to agree with you on YM …made me say.. “Really??” as well. Don’t get me wrong ..Semper Fi..still..well I think you know what I am saying…to each his own.
PC Says:February 9th, 2010 at 9:45 am
LOL! I don’t actually care that he’s a marine. I’m a sailor so I tend to prefer the Navy. But at least she didn’t bring home a Coast Guard guy. Right?
Hey, she’s doing her part to one-by-one boost the morale of our troops. I’m proud of my Vixen. :)
Vixen Says:February 9th, 2010 at 9:47 am
Yeah….doing my part for morale ;)
*snicker*
LOL
~K Says:February 9th, 2010 at 10:34 am
LOL..not cuz he was a Marine..I thought he was well not that “Man” attractive ya know? Unlike a guy like Mike Rowe who would make me question my heteroness! :-)
but sure..Thanks for taking one for the team Vixen, Who knows maybe a USO tour is in your future!
PC Says:February 9th, 2010 at 10:44 am
K – You’re cracking me up. I know what you mean. But I’m trying to be nice and supportive too. Like I told Vixen, I can’t imagine the guy looking at me calling me “Bitch”. There’s fantasy and imagination and all. But that’s asking a lot from me.
Anyway, if you know anyone worthy enough, let me know. I’ll do my best to persuade her to consider. I need to find her someone who’ll really cause me to question my manhood and worthiness.
This will crack you up. Once, I found a guy who seemed to fit the bill. The three of us went out to dinner to see how the chemistry would be. I swear the guy was closet gay. He had the most exaggerated lisp. I kid you not. And we probably could have worked with him a bit. But he kept talking and insisting he wasn’t gay. He just had the worst mannerisms too.
Beth Says:February 9th, 2010 at 11:22 am
I’m with K… [edited by PC for niceness]
jrgraham Says:February 9th, 2010 at 11:36 am
I can only speak for myself, and I’m a wannabe here, but something that PC said really resonated with me. When you are expected to be in charge and in control in what you do for a living and in your life, you are looking for a break from that role and responsibility. Also, I think that most cuckolds (and there is a continuum of what that means) truly adore their wives and want them to realize all that they can be, sexually and otherwise. But, my sense is that PC and Vixen are taking it at their pace and defining it how they want. YM was certainly not the guy that’s going to rattle PC’s cage but I bet Vixen felt like she was in control. Again, her fantasy for this sounded like it was being worshipped by a young guy. She knows who she is going to click with. My wife has had one guy that she clicked with, and flirted with heavily. She used to meet him at the door very underdressed. He did work for us. He was good looking, but not threatening to me. Over time, I thought he was a goof ball, but he was really sweet to her. And I was excited about the idea that she was hot about him. Then he got married, and her interest ended. Watching her at South Beach, topless and flirting and talking to young, hot-looking Spanish guys, got both of us going. And I have to admit, the fact that the guys were good looking and a bit more of a “threat,” enhanced it. I’m extremely confident in how I look and my sexuality, but there’s always someone out there who can turn someone’s eye. What happens when Vixen meets a Daniel Craig-lookalike who she clicks with. Watch out now!
southerngirl Says:February 9th, 2010 at 11:44 am
This is fascinating and YEAH for the open communication. Best of luck with this journey…
Vixen Says:February 9th, 2010 at 11:53 am
jrgraham, you leave the best comments. Thank you. :) What you said, I think when PC reads this will make a lot of sense to him too.
Barefoot Dreaming Says:February 9th, 2010 at 11:55 am
first of all – a one way hinge–> hahahaha! love that line.
Second – I lost all comment thought after reading the comments above. So here is my thought to go with the comments.
I am SO OVER what a guy looks like as an attraction. Don’t get me wrong, I noticed ‘hot’ guys… but I am scoring a mind f*ck as my number one turn on these days. I have had a lot of gorgeous guys in my life and they are the ones who tend to treat me the worse… and leave me feeling like crap about myself for years to come. I am done with that. For the marine to be with someone like Vixen he has got to have a good game on. If you have seen this lady IRL (which I had the honor of doing) you have to bring an A game and a hell of a lot of confidence …. he’s got something people or he would not be in the picture.
Secondly – just now in the last year or two could I ever share my relationship. I tell my hubby to get a girlfriend all the time – he thinks I am joking, but then he wonders when I say to make sure I* find her attractive too ;) I think a relationship has to be in a good /right place for this sort of thing to happen. One that is set on firm ground.
I too love to flirt and damn, having people flirt with me is the BEST – but my hubby shouldn’t worry (which btw he does) because at the end of the night I will ALWAYS go home with him. The more I am allowed to be me and do my thing out the more he will benefit at the end of the night. I think in these aspects Vixen and I are alike.. maybe that is why I get it … alright this is long enough. Thanks PC for your post
jrgraham Says:February 9th, 2010 at 12:10 pm
Barefoot Dreamer. Yes, YM must have something, and far be it for me to understand the mysteries of what a woman really wants. We men, sadly, are far too simple when it really comes down to it. Women are like the house in your dreams that you keep finding doors that you never knew existed.
PC Says:February 9th, 2010 at 12:15 pm
Beth – sorry to edit your comment. I don’t anyone to come to this and get hurt feelings, especially a friend of Vixen’s.
jrgraham – I think you summed it up very well. Actually, before you left this last comment, I told Vixen I was gonna have to start sticking up for YM. He treated her great and made her feel special. And on top of that, he’s about to head back to the desert to defend our way of life. Ya kinda have to like the guy.
southerngirl – thanks!
BD – What can I say? That says a lot coming from you, especially given how you can attract the guys too.
PC Says:February 9th, 2010 at 12:19 pm
So, I’ve informed Vixen that I am even willing to play along to YM from a submission perspective. If that’s what Vixen wants, that’s what she gets.
Anyone who knows us in real life knows I’m nice to all of her friends– to a fault at times. My title, “Vixen’s Bitch”, is an affectionate one. But it also reminds me at times not to throttle someone’s throat at times. I’m a kinder, gentler person as a result of her and this relationship. So if that that means I have to be nice to YM, so be it. I’ve been through much worse. And at the end of the day, he does come across as kind of likable.
jrgraham Says:February 9th, 2010 at 12:22 pm
Yes, this young guy deserves all of our respect for what he’s doing on our behalf. Semper Fi. I trust Vixen expressed our deepest gratitude. Speaking of, what did actually happen?;)
Vixen Says:February 9th, 2010 at 12:25 pm
BD- have I told you how much I love you ;)
*muah*
Vixen Says:February 9th, 2010 at 12:29 pm
PC….pitter patter…. :)
Vixen Says:February 9th, 2010 at 12:32 pm
Oh…and PC, I just spoke with YM and we’ve decided that yes, I’d like you to be his bitch too ;)
Haha…teasing (of course!)
jrgraham Says:February 9th, 2010 at 12:33 pm
BTW, thank you Vixen for your kind comments.
Barefoot Dreaming Says:February 9th, 2010 at 12:53 pm
Not today sweets… not today – but always love hearing it…
How about you and I just hold PC down and take advantage of him….
PC Says:February 9th, 2010 at 1:02 pm
BD – Take advantage of me, by all means. But you don’t need to hold me down for that. I can chauffeur, get you guys pampered, take you guys out clubbin’, etc. That’s what you meant, right? ;)
Barefoot Dreaming Says:February 9th, 2010 at 2:23 pm
;) my turn to say pitter patter
Beth Says:February 9th, 2010 at 3:33 pm
No offense..and it wasn’t meant in a mean way…hence the smile.
PC Says:February 9th, 2010 at 3:36 pm
Beth – Thanks for clarifying. I’m glad you pointed it out. I didn’t notice the smile. My bad. ;)
Elle Says:February 9th, 2010 at 7:23 pm
It all sounds like a lot of fun, and yes, a relationship truly needs to be on solid grounds for this sort of stuff to work. Congrats guys on the good communication!
Red Rider Says:February 10th, 2010 at 8:43 pm
This is so wonderful! Thank you both for sharing and look forward to hearing more as you journey together.
Mykeyman1 Says:February 14th, 2010 at 3:12 pm
Wow vixen and pc. Finally thinking of this road?! I wondered if you ever would, but hearing your thoughts on it are certainly interesting. Especially since most cucks, I think, are driven by the guy.
Anyway good luck to you both.
Mykey
TUG Says:February 27th, 2010 at 10:34 pm
PC-I know you’re a navy guy and the marines are technically part of the navy, but I think there is still something better :) You’ll have to ask Vixen what I’m talking about ;)
PC Says:February 28th, 2010 at 7:16 am
Tug – You mean the Chairforce??? Just kidding.
Honestly, I don’t get all that caught up in inter-branch wars these days. That a man serves, is a pretty big thing to me.
Right now, I’ve got to sons wishing to be SEALs when they’re old enough. They might change their minds later. Might change branches. I just hope they have some desire to wear a uniform.
Last night I had a great time talking to two old-timers. One was Airborne in ‘68. His brother was in the Airforce. The three of us had a great time talking. They served their country.