God, I’ve played around with how to write this post for days now.  I have had a jumble of thoughts, then just as I was getting them together and prepared (I thought) to sit down and put them to word…..PC and I had another one of our discussions. And it no longer seemed very clear to me.  I’m learning as we go along….how to keep things savy with PC and I, how to keep him in his happy place so that he doesn’t become insecure or jealous.  And honestly, sometimes I do a pretty damn good job and often I also really suck at it.  But I guess the biggest key is that we are always discussing things and how we’re feeling.  So bonus there.

I’ve tried to figure out how to explain ‘us’ to everyone and the why and the how.  I was feeling somewhat…..guilt ridden.  I think I got sucked into worrying too much about what others were thinking and in turn began feeling as if I needed to explain myself/us/our relationship.  Not a healthy path to be trolling down! Until two people I respect, admire and think quite highly of, made a couple comments to me that really made sense….

Emmy:
” -it has to work for the two of you. Whatever everyone else thinks is irrelevant. I mean, you only allow us a glimpse into your arrangement. No one should judge it all by that peek.”

TUG:
“I don’t think you should feel any need to share things on here if you really don’t want to. If people are having issues with the way things are being explained…too bad. I think PC explains things just fine. Don’t go past your “okayness” level for us.”

I mean, YES.  Duh.  My “AHA!” moment.  I need to quit being so worried about everyone else!  I worry, obsess enough already as it is.  The last thing I need is something else to obsess about!  So stop already!  (this is what I tell myself anyway….)

Different relationships work in different ways.  What makes one couple happy would break another up.  What one deems ‘ok’, might be very NOT ‘ok’ in another.  I read many different blogs, windows into peoples lives and their relationships and I always walk away very intrigued by how different everyone is.

PC and I have a unique marriage/relationship, in that we both walked away from very bad marriages.  Both with completely different dynamics.  But it was a learning experience for us both.  I was married to someone who became incredibly controlling as well as physically/mentally/verbally abusive.  And while it was awful and horrible, it caused me to grow into such a better person.  I might not be the person I am today w/o those experiences.  Most especially it caused me to realize what I wanted, what would make me happy and what I would *not* allow again.  So when PC and I became friends, we put it all on the line.  ALL of it.  The good, bad and the ugly, nothing held back.  All our kinks and things that made us tick, whether good or bad.  It strengthened us.  Rather than ‘pretend’ to be someone the other might like better, we just said “this is me, take it or leave it”.  We both had an incredible amount of baggage.  Me….basically broken and the fact I was bisexual, not wanting to give that lifestyle up.  And him with his ‘kinks’ that honestly, I hadn’t really encountered before.  And our goal was to figure out how to make it work.

So far so good and we just continue to become stronger and better together.

So I could go into the dynamics of feminized cuckholding and how it pertains to us (or rather we are *trying* for it to)……  But I think instead I’ll end with this blurb and then let be for now bc as I said, it’s something we are dabbling with/learning as we go.

Within the category of “cuckolds” there are subsets and nuances. The primary element differentiating “feminized cuckolds” from the cuckold pack is the inclusion of feminization. Beyond emasculation, or the removal of typical masculine characteristics resulting in merely a eunich state, feminized cuckolds proceed into the realm of true feminization, willingly or by “force” or coersion from their partners. All cuckolds can be said to gain pleasure (even the pleasure of humiliation) from their cuckold activities. All cuckolds have this in common: their wife or partner is seeking or receiving pleasure from sexual activities with another man.

Feminized cuckolds are the same, except most often, they have been feminized in some degree or another.

So there you have it.  For now.

Have a fabulous Monday!

~ xo

Vixen

13 Responses to “In the marriage, the greater cuckhold of the two is the lover (hmm…)”

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