Choir Girl

I wish people realized sometimes play is just play. I had somewhat of a 3 some with my best friend and her husband. We were drinking and I already knew they were swingers. I didn’t judge them and I had a great time but every once in a while she will bring it up about me fucking her husband. Mind you she was the one telling him to and after that my fingers were what made her squirt. Selective memories I suppose. I have no regrets though.

  PC

I love how you mention that I’m “required” to remain open. Of course I am, my love. Too bad I’ll not be one of the participants. In all frankness, I can’t handle being in one. I can only focus on you, and that wouldn’t go over well with the other.

However, in your threesome, I got dibs on photography. Okay?

Love you!

  Kahuna

First off thanks for the BD wishes!!!

As you know, Babushka and her girlfriend have included me a few times now and it has been extremely enjoyable – made up for the previous poor experiences both Babushka and I had prior.

The feelings issues are inevitable to some extent. Open non-judgmental communication about those feelings is so important to make any situation like this work.

Couple weekends ago Babushka and her Gigi spent the evening together and I did fell some “being left out” feelings. I need to be able to share those and any underlying fears of abandonment, insecurity or such with her in a way that id does not come out as their fault. I own them – they are my feelings. They have nothing to do with their evening. Babushka can listen to me yet knows that I in no way believe she “caused” them and therefore there is no guilt for her to feel.

Most people I have seen go into the threesome without truly understanding the power of the feelings they will have, are subsequently not prepared for them and do what comes naturally – blame the other party. Hence the phrase “be careful what you wish for”

Vix/PC – Have a wonderful week!!

  Barefoot Dreaming

*giggling….pc=photographer ;)

I can think of a few people that would be fine if PC concentrated on Vixen and not them as long as they got to roll around with her….. ;)

Oh wait, “hi Vixen” (this is *your comment box…sorry)

Great post- I agree. I always wonder how others would feel etc. I think I would be too worried about that during the whole session that I would have a hard time getting into it. Although vast amounts of alcohol or it being WWM (my only choice for a 3some btw) would be a bit less stressing.

  Jim

I’ve always wondered to what extent all participants are really into it, even once it begins. Like PC, I’ve never really felt like much of a sharer, and you read 3-some accounts from time to time in which the person says something that acknowledges that parts of it weren’t for them, but it was kind of too late to turn back.

I don’t know . . . I think you’ve really got to be in the mindset for it, or you’ll have regrets later, and that’s no fun.

XO

  Westcoast Weirdo

I totally agree that planning takes the fun out of it. The anticipation and not knowing are *part* of it all. I’m glad your more recent experiences have been positive. LMFAO
I got the impression that this post was focused on a couple & then an addition. I think the dynamics would be waaay different if there were 3 unattached people. IMHO, when a couple is involved, I think it works best when both participants of the couple are focusing on the addition. It’s sorta pointless if it’s only one, no? I think that’s where hurt feelings come into play.
Anyway – see you in a few days!!!!

  Danielle

I love the bottom picture. I have only done the threesome once and it turned out to be wierd. In the right situation, I think it would be a really great thing!

  Vixen

Choir Girl- I think a really big thing is, after the fact, let it be. It was something you (the general you :) did in the moment, that you wanted to do, hopefully it was enjoyable and once it’s over- walk away.

Talking about it later, bringing it up (like your friend) just makes for uncomfortableness sometimes.

  Vixen

PC- paparazzi is always nice to have… ;)

Oh. And never say never. You never know what situations might arise at some point. Just keep an open mind. *grins*

  Vixen

Kahuna- you bring up a VERY good statement. It’s VERY easy to underestimate the power of feelings.

You and I have had some interesting conversations and I think we are on the same page, regarding the emotional aspect.

I think it is important to talk about these feelings with your s/o, but also important to ‘own’ them.

Thanks for chiming in!

  Vixen

Jim- mindset is important I think, you are right.

Danielle- I’ve participated in ones that felt or were weird too. Which is a bummer.

  Vixen

Hi BD…

*buying someone ahem a plane ticket and stocking up on alcohol*

;)

  Vixen

Roxy- I think I was jumping around, ROFL. I was referring to a couple plus one more or 3 random, unattached individuals. I *think* the least issues arise with 3 unattached individuals. BUT, for me, that happens least often, bc that would require me to randomly click with not one, but TWO people.

Which is why me as the ‘addition’ has seemed to work best. *wink*

(THREE MORE DAYS!!!! Hehe!)

  Osbasso

Hmmm…sounds like Quicksilver might be getting lucky this weekend! :-P

  Vixen

Os *ahem*
I have skills…mad skills. *giggle*

I have no idea what you are talking about…… ;)

  Crystal Girl

I’d love too, but as you say…I would be worried that feelings and emotions would just be too overwhelming and be hard on the heart. Maybe someday…. who knows… dreaming is always good.

xoxo, crystal

  Ms Scarlett

I’m going to have to do a post on this… I have so many thoughts and questions on the topic… you make a great point about the ‘feelings’ aspect though.

  hubman

Veronica and I kinda messed up our first 3some because of feelings. No wait, *I* messed it up. But through good communication we dealt with it and our 3somes (and more!) have been mostly positive experiences since then.

  Volet Vamp

Thanks for the great post! I’ve not had a 3some, and hubby has only had me. We talk about it alot, but like you I want it to just happen. So until we find the right woman, it makes for good fantasy talk.

  Emmy

Open communication has always made our 3somes good. Without it, I doubt they would have gone as well.

  Semi-Celibate Man

Hi Vixen.

I’m thinking of threesomes lately too. Hoping actually…MFM variety.

  Sexie sadie

I think everyone has to be EXTREMELY secure in a threesome. One problem with threesomes is that it’s easy for two to get wrapped up in each other and “accidentally” forget the other person, at least that’s how it’s been in my experience, from both angles – as the person who has been left out and as the person who has done the “forgetting”.

Also, I am not personally into watching my Hubby have sex with another woman, so I have found that threesomes without him I enjoy much much more than those I’ve had with him. Less of those “feelings” to cloud things and more uninhibited, unbridled sex to have with someone I don’t have to live with :)

xo~Sadie

  mags

I LOVE threesome! With that said, those that have said they would rather have it “just” happen, I would say don’t. The best 3somes I’ve been involved in were always a bit planned. When you take the time before hand to chat and talk thru some things, the easier it is to remove the bad feelings from the situation. I don’t mean script out the whole night, but a few good conversations about what’s expected and what’s off limits just make everything so much more relaxed and enjoyable.

  Ruther

Threesome are awesome :D