Barefoot Dreaming

this happens a lot I think. most people I know wait it out. it usually comes around to where they are both single. I can’t say I would ditch one for the other – you will forever be ‘that’ girl. I’d play it nice (aka safe)

  Petal

Yeah, but if they are just dating…go for it…two months does not make a relationship.

  Jim

I agree . . . the first guy had his chances, and let her get away. If they’re both free at some point, then they can try each other on for size.

XO

  Topaz

2 months is such a short time. Not for the passion, but for the ‘getting to know you’ factor. If she’s gotten very close this quickly with the BF, then maybe she should stay. But if they’re dating (read: not exclusive) then she could always let flirty-boy know she is dating other people but would love to go out sometime. She’s not lying that way.

It all depends on the degree of exclusivity established (or not established). I’ve always let men know where I stand. Of course, like your line, I’m really not the one to be giving advice on relationship honesty, lol

  Professor Fate

They have been dating for only two months and they are already in a committed “you can’t date someone else” type of monogamous exclusive relationship? I think that is moving terribly fast.

If Laney is wondering about the crush, her current relationship’s future is already in doubt. She is already looking for a way out. If you are exclusive two months in, everything should be sweetness and light. A second seed of doubt comes from the idea that she settled for her current guy.

The crush was never willing to ditch a girlfriend for her, but she is considering it for him. This relationship sound a little bit asymmetrical and they aren’t even dating. I think she has her expectations set too high.

  Wander

If she is having thoughts about it, and apparently she does, then something isn’t right in the current relationship that is forming with her current boyfriend. And sorry, in my honest opinion, two months in the relationship base should be starting to form.

Long story short.. she should be fair to her current gent.. she settled, or at least in her mind she settled for him. Be honest with him, lay out that she needs to know in her mind about the what if.

If he (current bf) is half the man he should be for a long term relationship, he will allow her to answer the question in her mind.

Once answered.. she will either be back or it was never meant to be.

Sounds simple on paper.. but emotions are rarely simple.

  Westcoast Weirdo

2mos is not very long at all. She’s going to regret not going with her crush.

She also must not really be into her boyfriend because if she was, then she wouldn’t even be giving her crush a thought.

She’s ignoring her own signs. She needs to dump the boyfriend (& let him find someone who is *really* into him) and see what happens with the crush.

  Vixen

Petal- this is true…2months isn’t that long really.

PC- I agree a bit with the ‘grass is greener on the other side’ but as everyone has pointed out as well- 2months isn’t that long.

(really, you haven’t thought about that person and the what if’s since? Wow…. *grins* I didn’t know that….)

  Vixen

Topaz- I like your idea of letting him know she’s dating other people and leaving it at that. Then going out on a date with him and seeing. I honestly don’t see why someone can’t date several people at the same time. I mean until they set rules on exclusivity, lol.

  Vixen

Prof Fate- I’m not sure if they are exclusive or not. She said he was her ‘boyfriend’ and that they have been dating for two months. That’s all I know.

Two months does seem like a short time. And you do bring up a good point, that he’s never seemed to put anyone on hold to see her, but she is willing to on her part. Which raises some flags…but as a girl who crushes as hard as I tend to…I understand where she’s coming from in wanting to give it a chance.

  Vixen

Wander- good advice, I really like what you said. :)

Roxy- I totally agree. She’ll regret not seeing what may come of it. And the fact that she’s still thinking so much about the crush I think answers the question even more so.

  Sage

is it a relationship in 2 months? If she is going to bail now is the time. No way to court em both at the same time? That would be my play if I were her. I’d tell the second guy straight up, Hey I’m courtin this other cat but I’ll go out with you some on the DL. she’ll know if they click once he has to court her a little instead of just talk smack.

In poker you can’t lose money you don’t push in the middle……… you can’t win though if you don’t push your money in and take a chance.

  Vixen

Sage- HA! Best advice I’ve heard all day. Love it. :)

  The Urban Cowboy

While two months does not make a long term relationship, it is enough time for someone to determine whether or not that is the direction they are headed. Sounds like she needs to date this other guy, just be upfront about it.

  Vixen

jr- you bring up very good points. On all fronts.

I think honestly, her best bet after reading everyone’s comments today- is for her to be honest with the guy she is currently dating, and let him know she would like to date this other guy as well. I think she will regret it later on if she doesn’t see how things might go with the crush. And breaking it off completely with the current guy she’s dating….how does she know that that is even necc if she’s not honest with him?

  Bunny

If she’s even contemplating it, then she isn’t truly committed to her current relationship (I don’t blame her after 2 mos). She may as well take a chance.