Petal

It does beg the question….what about him being open to everything SHE may want? mmmm? cant see too many men signing up to that one lol

  Vixen

Petal- I can’t even fathom *asking*….lol.

  PC

Controlling? In which way?

I could do this one. I PROMISE not to look at any porn, except with you– and not even then. I can definitely promise not to cheat too and I won’t go to any strip clubs unless it’s OK with you.

Now, there are couple of things I’d like you to try… A LOT…

Doesn’t this sound like a good thing for us Babe? Com’ on. We can make it work ;)

I LOVE YOU!!!

  Jim

Assuming that a marriage is a bit of a contractual agreement itself, I don’t see why this one would guarantee any better (or worse) results. If someone just doesn’t want you anymore, physically, after some period of time together, the real question is whether you scrap the whole thing or try to focus on other stuff and move on.

XO

  Kenny

If relationships, people, and sexual proclivities never ever changed throughout a relationship this would be perfect. The reality is things change..desire waxes and wanes, body’s change, life gets in the way. This is more of people trying to put things in a box that don’t belong there…doomed to failure…

  Jeff

Yeah, I think this one is doomed to failure from the start. It’s just in our nature to get bored after a while and want something different. Now, I’m not saying we should act on that but to deny someone porn or strip clubs or to say that you can be everything for someone that he/she may ever want to be is just deluding yourself.

If I had to do it all over again, I would get my wife to sign a contract that neither of us would be exclusive with each other, that we would be free to partake of porn, strip clubs, prostitutes, whatever as long as it was done safely, and that above all we would always be open and honest with each other.

Of course that is pretty much what we have now so maybe no contract is required.

  Professor Fate

And what is the “penalty” for breaching this contract? Is it a divorce? Is it a trip to the mall? Season tickets?

This sound like an idea for the young and naive. Sex (or lack thereof) and porn are not the cause of marriage failures. They are symptoms of a lack of trust (which this pre-nup codifies).

Instead of forbidding your man to look at porn, why not talk about hwy you don’t want him to look at at. Instead of requiring the woman that you love to be open to any sexual act you can imagine, why not discuss what you’d like to do. She may not be up for anal sex, but she may be willing to trade penetration of her ass for penetration of his.

Marriage is about learning what is really important to you and learning what you are willing to give up. An unenforceable piece of paper isn’t going to change that.

  MinorityReport

This just seems unrealistic to me, and it *really* wouldn’t work in my situation. I agree with the folks who say it’s “doomed to fail”, and I totally second what Petal said, “what about him being open to everything SHE may want?”

  nitebyrd

Something like this is only going to work when we are marrying “replicants”. The majority of human beings will continue to change and evolve over time. Having a sex contract is ridiculous.

  autumn

in EVERY relationship i’ve been in, it started with mmmm yeah, i want to make love to you every day baby. all i wanna do is come home to you and do this always…pffftt! sooooo fucking short lived. really. it’s unrealistic. *you do understand that it’s ME in this case that wants all the lovin…bwahahaha*

a friend once said that marriage should be renewable every 5 years like a driver’s licence, only you’d have to decide what it’s worth at the end of each term. i dunno, it seems kind of odd to me to actually make contracts for relationships. they are ever evolving and need to be free to “Be” in my opinion.

just barging my way back in here. i’ve missed you soooo much!

xoxo
loves autumn

  Sage

Any contract will work provided both parties enter into it honestly and have integrity. I am a supporter of a contract, not THIS kind of contract but a contract.

  Vixen

PC- yes, YOU could do this. You are the exception to most ‘guy rules’.

I think the novelty of *HAVING* to do something though is going to wear off at some point. ;)

  Vixen

Jim- I agree. Which is my issue with contracts in general.

Ken- I’m totally with you, and I like your analogy of trying to ‘fit it into a box’. Stop trying to do that! LOL

  Vixen

Jeff- *LOL* I just don’t understand the purpose of having a ‘contact’. How about you just agree on something and try to stick with that until it doesn’t work and then maybe…IDK, talk about it some more. Novel idea.

So I’m with you.

  Vixen

jr- yes.

Prof Fate- you bring up a good point. The most valid point. What is the ‘penalty’???? Bc what is a contract w/o some sort of penalty. Which to me just makes this whole thing seem very silly.

This:
Marriage is about learning what is really important to you and learning what you are willing to give up. An unenforceable piece of paper isn’t going to change that.

Exactly.

  Vixen

Autumn, I completely agree. Which is what makes this contract unrealistic. Sure it’s something you can agree to when you are all happy and blissful-like. But what happens as time goes on. And needs, wants, etc change???

Sage- I know you are a supporter of contracts. I’m aware of the one you have with your wife. This particular one just seems….unrealistic, insecure and controlling.

  danielle

I am out! Just saying! :)