Boxes
posted by: Vixen
I had a deep dark secret from my childhood slam me in the face on Sunday. Hard.
At first I was taken off guard. Shocked. Surprised. But then as the day wore on, into the night and then the next day….and the memories and emotions and feelings starting bubbling up and over. Things I haven’t thought about or talked about in over twenty years. And I felt myself suffocating from anxiety, of being overwhelmed…
And I shared some of this information with someone close to me. But then walked away feeling overly exposed and very, very raw. Worrying. Regretting. Obsessing.
My sister pointed something out to me. That was rather eye opening. I am a very open person. But I am very open about things that I am comfortable with. Which is many/most things but that I have several boxes that I keep tightly closed, off limits, that I don’t share very openly about. She said I was being unfair to myself. And that maybe that is where ‘these feelings’ were coming from…
Have I mentioned how much I *heart* my sister?
PC came home mid day, to be with me. He brought lunch from a new sandwich shop I’d been wanting to try…knowing if he didn’t, I probably wouldn’t have eaten. He didn’t have to come home. But he did because he was worried and wanted to be with me. I was able to shut the buzz of my thoughts down long enough to rest. Something I struggle with…
Have I mentioned how much I *heart* my husband?
*****
TFT is up.
Would love to have you contribute ANYONE can…just snap and send. Send.
******
~ xo
Jas
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August 30th, 2010 at 11:18 pm
Sounds like your sister and PC were very supportive.
osbassoHope you feel brighter soon x
August 30th, 2010 at 11:49 pm
Wondered where you’d been all day. Hope you’re getting beyond it. Or at least dealing with it in a positive way…
AlfieAugust 31st, 2010 at 12:50 am
Maybe the release-valve needed to open just a little bit. We pray all goes well.
PCAugust 31st, 2010 at 5:35 am
I love you Hon!!!
greeneyedfrenchyAugust 31st, 2010 at 5:45 am
Feeling for you and hoping you become even stronger. Even if we keep them hidden, our demons always find a way to haunt us and unless we deel with them, they will never leave us.
DanielleHugs!
August 31st, 2010 at 8:17 am
I am so glad that you have a wonderful suppoet system.
mamatulip*hugs*
August 31st, 2010 at 9:00 am
You’ve got some good people in your corner, girl. :)
SBAugust 31st, 2010 at 10:59 am
support system is awesome. hope you are able to get the comfort you need, which sounds like you are.
i also just want to say that i love reading your blog and your pictures are awesome.
DeweyAugust 31st, 2010 at 4:56 pm
It’s very nice to have people, loved-ones, that you can open up to, and whatever secrets you’re storing, I promise you that they lose their power when you open up. I hate secrets, and would much rather just be an open book. I feel so much better for it… but that’s just me. Great post!
TopazAugust 31st, 2010 at 6:02 pm
Supportive loved ones can get you through just about anything. It’s a great thing to have. And what a wonderful man, getting you the one thing you would eat.
EmmyWhatever is going on in your life, *hugs*
August 31st, 2010 at 8:11 pm
Hugs to you, sweetie! I’m glad you have great people around you.
Vixenxoxo
~Emmy
August 31st, 2010 at 9:04 pm
greeneyedfrenchy, so true….I’m just having a difficult time figuring out the best way to deal with this. I guess bc I thought it *had* been dealt with. Sigh….
VixenAugust 31st, 2010 at 9:05 pm
Dewey- I really am an open book in many areas. When my sister pointed out that I keep several areas so tightly closed and off limits, it surprised me….mainly to realize that she was right.
VixenAugust 31st, 2010 at 9:06 pm
Thank you guys…I really do have a wonderful support system. And it makes *all* the difference in the world to me.
Redshoes51September 1st, 2010 at 2:14 pm
Hey you… I think most of us are open about some things; yet there are other things that we are more protective about. If you shared something with someone and you later second guessed it, maybe it’s a sign that you are ready to open up with that person a bit more.
Sometimes, we just have to take a chance… no?
~shoes~