Jas

I definately think we live in a “sue happy” society. So I would say I don’t believe I would. A bit like you, not my nature. It’s up to me to protect myself in general.( Accountability) I guess where it gets blurry is if the other person knows that they have an STD and you are unaware of the fact or told that they are all clear, more of a deception of soughts… Tough Question

  Alfie

I think it should read:

“If you engage in conduct that you know can cause you harm, and fail to take precautions, you can hardly complain when you catch something.”

Whatever happened to personal responsibility?

  Professor Fate

Both parties are responsible for their actions.

I believe that partners in any sexual relationship should have this conversation. If you cannot have this conversation, you shouldn’t be having sex. I think lying about you STD status should be a felony [I know it would be a "he said/she said" or any of the variants type of thing].

For me, one night stands require a condom. Yes, it is less fun but I want to minimize my chances of getting a door prize. For a long term relationships, we both get tested before stopping condom use.

  Aurore

PC: I don’t know about the laws where you are but here in Canada if you are HIV positive and knowingly infect someone without disclosing your status that’s a crime. People have been incarcerated for it.

As for if I would sue. No. Particularly not for something like HPV. I am responsible for me and if I choose to act in a way that puts my health in danger – I think I need to accept the responsibility. Of course it’s impossible to be 100% safe so disclosure is essential but people lie.

  Barefoot Dreaming

I think it does say something for responsibility- if that man out right knew then….. yeah

p.s. that bottom pic gives me the shivers- hate having fingers shoved in my mouth- gag

  Vixen

Jas- that is the issue for me too. Is if the person purposely keeps important information about having an STD to themselves and isn’t honest about it.

PC- yes, you and I feel the same way on this topic. :)

  Vixen

Alfie, I guess the problem is that you can still contract an STD even with the use of protection. So to say bc you had sex and contracted something bc someone didn’t tell you, it’s your own fault…. Is a bit like saying bc you were driving your car and were rear ended, it’s your own fault bc you were in your car in the first place.

I dunno…. I appreciate your input. :)

  Vixen

Prof Fate- yes. I agree with everything you said regarding this.

  Vixen

Aurore- the HPV part makes it tricky and I have to agree with you.

What you said about Canadian laws and incarceration. There have been lawsuits won here in the states that went down the same way.

  Vixen

BD- oh really?! Gah….there is nothing hotter than my lovers fingers having been in me and then having me suck on them. It gets me all hot and bothered just thinking about it. *ahem*

  Vixen

PC- yes honey, responsibility and accountability. Two major things we both feel are quite important.

  Danielle

I would not sue, and I agree with both sides. I think it shouls be disclosed so that the other person has a choice. I also agree with the fact that we all need to be responsible when it comes to sex because there are so many STD’s that are un noticed by some.

  viemoira

I would not- I’m too non-confrontational. Also I would feel partially responsible for not using protection. Though I certainly feel that if someone knowingly spread an STD then the victims should have the right to sue.

  ChrisYYC

I’m a Canadian and we are moving towards a sue happy society.

I acknowledge that there is a shared responsibility to ensure that STD’s are not spread and that everyone should practice safe sex to make sure that they are protected.

Having said that the sueing issue for me boils down to intent. If your partner knows they are infected and does not take precautions to ensure that you are safe there is an intent to infect you. Malicious behavior like that should not go unpunished even if there is a reputational impact for you. Intent = Sue.

  Barefoot Dreaming

well see, if I WANT to do that – fine. If I take the fingers myself etc. But having them just shoved in my mouth- ick!

  MinorityReport

I’m torn here. On one hand I say, “Yes. If the person with the disease knew before hand and willingly put his/her partner at risk, then the infected partner has the right to sue (at least to recoup medical expenses). But then I say, where’s the responsibility of the other partner to say, “Let’s get tested before we _______?”

It’s a tough call.

But, how far can this go? What other illnesses could are “bad” enough to sue over? If I have swine flu, don’t tell anyone, and intentionally go to work and infect my coworkers can I be sued?

  Vixen

Minority Report- you bring up a VERY valid point. One I hadn’t considered, regarding ‘other’ illnesses. How far does it go?

  Emmy

Great topic….and one that is close to me.

HPV? Would I sue? Nope. There are many MANY strands of HPV. And only ONE is an STD. And like you say, there is no test for men – and women can have the strand without symptoms. Hell, men can too. In fact, both sexes can have it without knowing it.

We recently discovered the person who likely infected my husband. Will we sue her? Nah. We knew the risks. We took a leap of faith – and missed. I believe you have to take some of that blame. While I would love to assign all of it onto the other person, we do take some ownership.

But that’s just me.

  Janie

I recently read about a case where a woman is being jailed because she knowingly and intentionally infected people with HIV after she found out that she was positive. I think since that’s a life-changing, if not life-threatening disease then I would maybe not sue for myself so much as take them to court to stop them doing it to anyone else. That is irresponsible behaviour and whilst there should be some level of personal responsibility on [my] part, to not inform someone of something as important as that is very very wrong.

Your average STI however, I think I would just leave it. I’d be angry if they’d known about it, but these things happen. There’s a massive stigma on STIs, really it’s only like catching a cold off someone. You try not to get sneezed on and they’ll cover their mouth when they cough but there’s always that chance that hanging out with them will mean you end up with a cold as well!

I’m rambling anyway, good topic!

xoxox

  Bilingual

After reading the opinion in the article you linked I think it sounds like he did it on purpose.

Emmy’s correct that there are many strands of HPV, but is incorrect in saying that only one is an STD. About forty types are transmitted sexually. Gardasil covers the four most common.

And what is “the average STI”? More than a few strains of HPV cause cancer and can kill you or at the very least cause serious health problems. Even the low risk types that only cause bumps are a pain to deal with from what I’ve been told by friends who, sorry to say, have firsthand knowledge. It’s not like the common cold where you have it for a week and it goes away. And that is where I would draw the line for suing. Potential long-term health concerns or an incurable virus (both of which are true here)? Yep. This is not chlamydia. Neither is Herpes. Neither is Hep. Neither is HIV/AIDs.

The fact is, once you have it, while you may not have symptoms your whole life, or ever, you can still spread it to someone who will. It’s something you have to disclose and it is a big deal. You don’t get to decide if that’s “need-to-know” information for your significant other. If a man knows he has it (because men do show symptoms and if I’m not mistaken it CAN actually get cancer from it) or if he’s been exposed to someone who had it, he’s gotta disclose it. So does a woman, naturally.