PC

“Why does the proposal matter?”

Are you suggesting that we were in love enough that I didn’t need to propose to you?

Hmm…

;)

  Barefoot Dreaming

First t.v., books, and magazines set up an impossible standard for men – trying to come up with a proposal worthy of what women have grown up watching/wanting. Sigh……
I feel sorry for men often

Now, I agree- the ball is in her court. I know more than one woman who has asked the question- “popped the question”. He of course IS going to be gun shy. Sooooo either she needs to have a serious discussion face to face with him and talk it out- or just suck it up and figure out how to balance on one knee

  Barefoot Dreaming

but it would be her just reward if he said no…… :P

  Barefoot Dreaming

gahhh take that back, that was snarky….. I appreciate her not just saying yes cuz she was asked- too many divorces out there. ok, I’m leaving now

  Babe Lincoln

If it is a good relationship, why aren’t they talking through this sort of stuff? I would expect she explained to him her reasons for saying no and moving forward, wouldn’t they have an ongoing dialogue about where the relationship was heading? Needless to say, if she’s hoping for a proposal, I think a good heart-to-heart is in order…

  Jeff

Why does how the proposal is done matter? The point is he is asking to spend his life with you. If you’re not ready for that, fine, but don’t bitch about HOW he proposed.

I too am surprised he stayed with her. I think at this point she needs to step up.

BTW, that tumblr picture is fucking HOT!

  Vixen

PC- *snort* Of course I wanted you to propose to me. But the question was referring to the HOW you proposed. Society/women put too much pressure on men to come up with a *FABULOUS* way to propose. If the guy of your dreams is asking you to spend the rest of your life with him, shouldn’t that part be *fabulous* enough??? :)

That was my point.

  Vixen

jr- I do think it was a lack of….thought on his part. For him to ask so soon in the relationship and for her to be so caught off guard by the proposal.

  Vixen

BD- I agree about the ‘impossible standard’ set.

LOL nothing wrong with snarky ;) But I’m with you, I respect her for not saying yes, just bc he asked. If she felt it was too soon, good for her for taking that stance, rather than rushing into something she didn’t feel completely comfortable or good with.

  Vixen

Babe- I agree, communication seems to be lacking here.

  Vixen

Jeff- completely agree. The HOW should not be the focus. And if it is….then I guess he needs to figure out if this is the woman he really wants to be with, nothing that. It screams high maintenance and hard to please to me.

Oh. And that Tumblr pic is one of my *ALL* time favorites EVER. *grins*

  Maggie

I second or third what was already said about the communication in this relationship. That said, if she *needs* a big proposal and she’s already had her chance or wasn’t happy with the way it was done, I don’t think she’s going to get it now. That is, if he even asks her again after they talk (because they have to talk about it now, unless she asks him). He may just not be a big crazy proposal guy. I personally dislike that we have this tendency toward The Proposal needing to be the most fabulous thing ever and you must one-up everyone you know. Ick. I mean, in theory you’re just asking a question to which you should at least reasonably know the answer, right?

  MinorityReport

I agree with everyone else. It’s her move now, either propose or open a discussion.

  Emmy

Blah….the proposal doesn’t matter. While it is the stuff that dreams are made of, love is love. If it feels right, either party should be able to just do it – IMO.

I do agree – it is totally her move now. I think it is also her move to get it right ;-)