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(vi.sualize.us)

I get this type of email fairly often.  Variations of course, but always the same type question from both men and women.

The latest email I received was something like this-

Over the last month he’s been dating a girl, they’ve been on several dates.  The dates have been good…but nothing special and he’s not really feeling a click.  Last weekend he met several of her friends.  One in particular he is really attracted to and she is much more his type.  He’s wondering if there is anyway to ‘transition’ (his wording) from her to one of her friends.  And how should he handle it?  Should he ask her permission? 

Basically- Is it ok if you’ve only dated a guy/girl a few times for her/him to go after one of your friends?

In my opinion…..  It’s a potentially sticky situation that needs to be handled carefully.  I think it depends on the girl.  I also think it depends on how much the girl liked the guy.  Another factor is the type of friendship the girls have with each other.  First things first though- he should break things off with the one girl.  Let things settle a bit, then contact the friend.  Talk with the friend about things, tell her where you stand.  That you would really like to take her out on a date, is really attracted to her.  See what she thinks. 

As far as wanting to date a guy’s friend.  I think they care less about these things. But I may be off base.  Hopefully some guys will chime in on this….

*****

HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!

(omg…HOT!!!)

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~ xo

Vixen

(vi.sualize.us)

Things I remember… (and miss)

The longing…intimate gazes. 

Followed by sly, flirtatious, knowing sometimes devious….grins.

Her breath on the back of my neck.

The chills it always gave me.

The smile it always (always) brought to my face.

The way she played with the ties of my bikini bottoms. 

Teasingly. 

The giddiness that ensued.

The way she traced each and every one of my tattoos.  With her finger…and then her tongue.

Her quickened breath.

The words that escaped her mouth….barely.  In the heat of the moment.

The way she would stop me….to relish, in the moment.

I could go on.  But I’ll hold onto the rest, for myself.  It’s not so much about sharing…but the need to gush.  And remember…and memorize.  And relish in…  The details.

(vi.sualize.us)

*****

TFT is up!!!

*THANKS* to everyone who contributed!

Lots of ways to help out this holiday season.  Hop on over to check it out.  And for those wanting to contribute- ANYONE can…just snap and Send!  (C’mon, you know who you are)

*****

~ xo

Vixen

(vi.sualize.us)

I’m sure when adults enter into relationships/sexual encounters outside their marriages, everyone has different expectations.  Of what they are looking for, what they desire, what they need, of what they want.  I read a very wide spectrum of blogs.  It’s very easy to see that what one person wants and is hoping to achieve is not the same as the next blog in my feeder I click to.  And it’s pretty fair to say that what the next five bloggers are desiring is probably different from one another….and in turn from me.

I think I am very honest and up front with people I potentially may date- about what I am looking for, who I am and what I have to offer (and not offer…).  Because it’s not unclear in my mind, I feel I am able to present this quite clearly.  I’m not wishy washy about my needs, wants or desires.

But yet….here I am.  Wondering how it can be so difficult to find someone who fits the bill!  I don’t want a fuckbuddy.  I don’t enjoy NSA sex, in fact, I’m fairly incapable of it.  I’m the first to admit it.  I have a family that is fairly time consuming, I live on a farm with a bazillion animals that are definitely very time consuming, I also have a sissy cuck husband that I am in love with and am in no fashion looking to replace (which it’s amazing the amount of people I meet who can’t wrap their mind around that….).  I have a certain amount of time I can make myself available for someone else.  And it does require some planning and forethought.  I guess I want a glorified FWB….I enjoy the friendship aspect.  I also enjoy the ‘benefits’ aspect.  I am an emotional, affectionate creature. Hell.  Ok.  I’m looking for a boyfriend.  PC is the first one that suggested that’s what he thought I was looking for, and well, right, it’s true.

Spring Flower wrote a post a bit ago….about refusing to feel like an after thought.  That it doesn’t require 50 emails/phone calls/texts every day but KEEP IN TOUCH.  She called it a ‘constant flow of little things’.  And I’m so totally with her on this! It’s a small amount of upkeep that goes a super long ways.  I’m not entirely emotionally needy (hey I said *entirely*…snort) but I need a ‘something’ here and there.  I need to feel you’re into me.  And if you are, it shouldn’t be that difficult to show.  Right?  Hmm….

Anyway.  Just thinking aloud because I’ve been frustrated a bit about this recently.  I actually did have a fabulous weekend.  I heard from who I really wanted to… *huge grins* Brownie points! *wink*  And PC and I had several incredible dates. 

So.  Yeah. 
Enjoy your Monday!

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~ xo

Vixen

(vi.sualize.us)

Dear Martini,

I do love you.  A lot.  Probably more than I should.  The first date was incredible.  You let my inhibitions down.  We had fabulous conversation with my date.  I rocked the short flirty dress with the high socks and tall boots.  You made me swoon.  I jumped PC the minute we walked through the door.  It was HOT.  And amazing.

But then you took me on that second date.  Which I admit, started out fabulously.  Another short flirty dress, this one pink, with the awesome Betsey Johnson socks that have ruffles and bows (squeal!), again paired with boots.  At first I was disappointed that you weren’t going to show.  But the bartender assured me you were and when you did…Mmmm…..heavenly.  More flirting.  More fun conversation.  And then we were having so much fun I agreed to three of you.  I mean, hell, the two of you that other night were so….perfectly delicious.  How could I say no?!  You are pretty enticing. 

*sigh*

And that is where the problems arose.  Because, man, that is a hell of a lot of Vodka.  We began disagreeing before we even left the pub (that I love btw, whether you are there or not).  I knew you’d been too pushy.  The ride home was dicey.  By the time we got home….ugh.  There was no jumping PC once inside.  I don’t even remember walking in the door.

I’ll just be straight with you.  I didn’t appreciate the way you treated me.  I mean, it’s not my favorite passing out cold on my bed…face down, with my boots and coat still on.  *ahem*  So, I have to break up with you.  Don’t even try to talk me out of it.  Don’t call me.  Don’t write.  It would just make things more difficult and tempting to  want to see you again.

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~ xo

Vixen

Last year I was busy cooking, in preparation for Thanksgiving.  This year I am responsible for less of the cooking.  Probably will participate more in doing the dishes and drinking of wine….  Ok ok, definitely more so in the drinking of the wine. *grins*

~CLICK~

Vixen’s neurosis #69: I can not, absolutely will not, do dishes with out wearing rubber gloves. Just like I dislike drinking beer in a can with out a Coozie (oh the crap I get over that one…..doh), I can not do dishes with out gloves. I HATE the way the soap makes my hands feel afterwards. The thought makes me *cringe*….

HappyHNT and Thanksgiving!!!

~ xo

Vixen

“Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse.”
— Henry Van Dyke (via justbesplendid)

Although the traffic seems to be only slightly less than usual, I think many people this week are browsing rather than commenting.  I debated putting up a CQW and in the end decided to do something simple instead.  Save the question for a date where it might get better responses.

1. Are you sticking to traditional Thanksgiving foods this year, or are you being culinarily adventurous?
My BIL does the majority of the cooking.  He’s a *fantastic* from scratch cook.  But alas…a meat eater.  As is my entire family but me.  Over the years he has become very accommodating of quirky little me and the last couple years has even made vegetarian stuffing.  Awww….  *grins*  My sister will do her usual pre-dinner yumminess (meat excluded), also known as appetizers. 

2. Tell me something concrete that you’re thankful for. (Something you can literally touch, see, etc., not a concept like “hope.”)
Family, my sister who I am able to vent/confide/support/reach out to on a daily basis, PC who knows me better than myself (thank god bc when you are as neurotic as I am it helps to have *someone* know you! LOL) and supports me on all my whims with all the love in his heart, my children to which I would sacrifice everything for, my furbabies that enrich my every waking moment, my bestest friend Roxy and my home, as dilapitated as it is, I love having a place to call home.

3. You knew the flip side was coming: Share about something intangible that you’re thankful for.
Happiness.  After going many, many years quite unhappy with such a feeling of hopelessness, I relish in *HAPPY*.

4. Share one vivid Thanksgiving memory. It doesn’t have to be deep or meaningful, just something that remains etched in your memory.
Oh.  Um.  This was numerous years ago…. I had a new mommy-van, a preschooler and a toddler….enter a sudden onset of a stomach virus that began IN the mommy-van by the youngest child (I swear one of the main reasons I got rid of it several months later was because of the nasty stench I couldn’t remove from the fucking thing), carrying through with most all the adults coming down with it ON TGing day…..  Ah, the memories. (*puke*  …literally.)

5. What is one thing that you know beyond a shadow of a doubt is going to happen this Thanksgiving because it always does, year after year?
I won’t eat the Turkey.  *wink*

6. Do your pets get any left-overs?
They might be sneaked a bit,  yes. Or the ‘accidental’ dropping of food….happens from time to time.  My dogs are ‘polite beggers’ as I refer to them.  *LOL*

7. Does your family pray before the big meal? If so, do you join hands while seated, stand, repeat a formal prayer or offer a spontaneous prayer? Who does the praying?
Not these days…  Last year it was insanely cute when the kids (completely on their own) went around their little table telling what they were thankful for.  LM, all too predictably, had said “costumes” (while wearing his Orvill Redinbocker outfit…).  *snort*

8. Will you be watching football in the afternoon? If not, what will you be doing?
Uh no….not me.  I’ll be enjoying cocktails and gossip.

9. There are two distinct camps of people on this issue: How do you feel about oysters in the dressing/stuffing?
Um yeah…this was discussed last year.  I’ve never even heard of oysters in stuffing.  In our family there is the ‘stuffing with sausage’ and ‘stuffing with none’.  I’m sure you can guess which I prefer. 

10. Do you consider yourself informed about the first Thanksgiving?
More so than the dumbass that PC had to delete from his FB friends list last year on TGing day……

11. Which variety of pie will you be enjoying?
PUMPKIN with Cool Whip.  No other time of the year.  And I would never buy it or make it. But when it’s offered this one time of year…it’s *yummy*.

12. Do you feel for the turkey??
….do I ever feel…for…the turkey.  Hmm, right, still not sure what this means.  But no.  Turkey and I aren’t very close and I will not be feeling up the turkey or whatever it is I was just asked. (doh)

*****

Kiddos are going to their grandparents for a couple days, which means PC and I have some time to ourselves.  *wicked grins*

Happy Hump Day!!!

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~ xo

Vixen

We lay in bed, both of us partially naked.  His hand ran up my thigh.  Slowly.

Discover me
Discovering you

Tracing the curve of my hip bone.  Slowly.

One mile to every inch of
Your skin like porcelain

His hand stopped on my stomach.  Letting it rest, for a moment.  Nuzzling his lips into my neck, my hair.  I could feel him breathing me in.  I turned my head so that our lips could meet.

One pair of candy lips and
Your bubblegum tongue

My hand wandered between my thighs.  His hand followed mine.  My breath caught.  His breath quickened.  An arched back….my hand pushing his further. 

And if you want love
We’ll make it
Your body is a wonder (I’ll use my hands)

Every inch of him, completely aroused by every inch of me.

You tell me where to go and
Though I might leave to find it
I’ll never let your head hit the bed
Without my hand behind it

The waves of ecstasy overcoming me.  As he brings me to orgasm.  Again.  And again.

Damn baby
Your body Is a wonderland

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*****

TFT is up!!!

*THANKS* to everyone who contributed!

Would love to have you contribute as well!!! (C’mon, you know who you are) ANYONE can…just snap and Send!

*****

~ xo

Vixen

….sexual palate cleanser (rebound sex)
~Grey’s Anatomy

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Well.  I’ve met someone.  I’ve slyly mentioned him here and there.  I’ve been holding off on talking much about him, until I knew how things were, where they were going.  I’m still not completely sure where they are going, but I know HOW they are…. *grins*

I haven’t spoken about Ashton in quite awhile.  I kind of left things up in the air regarding him and happenings between us…  I guess I got selfish about those feelings.  Him and I remain…close.  But as friends. 

He did set a very high bar though.  I’ve been on a dating spree.  Trying to find someone who compared even remotely to him.  Dating began feeling like an excruciating interview process (I told you, I could seriously write a book about my dating misadventures experiences).  I got to the point where I wasn’t sure if I should just give it a rest or persevere.  And then, completely out of the blue I was contacted by someone.  But….hemmed and hawed over meeting with him, for weeks…because several things were holding me back.  I was just unsure and reluctant.  Until I was encouraged to give him a chance.  What would it hurt?  So, I threw my reservations to the wind and contacted him.  Several completely unconventional dates (one of them being the exotic ball….) later plus a recent over-nighter (definitely fabulous)- and I’ve realized he may be the first guy I’ve met since Ashton that I like.  That I really, really like.  And am into.  And fits all the ‘criteria’ of what I am looking for.   And that I *CLICK* with….  (which is HUGE to me)  Compared to these others where even though all the pieces didn’t seem to fit, I’ve tried to ‘make them work’.  Because damnit, as I said, if Ashton didn’t set such a HIGH bar! (course if he hadn’t, it’s unlikely I might have even tried to continue dating boys and just been content sticking with the home team *wink*, with PC on the side, of course *smirk*)

So….stayed tuned.

Oh.  And enjoy your Monday!

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~ xo

Vixen

Friday Favorites-

You know what to do….click the links if you haven’t already and show them some love!

Emmy…Right Turn Without Signaling…..

Cheeky Minx…Love Hate Sex Cake…..

Lusting Lola…Sex Babble…..

*****

So.

I began blogging 5 1/2 years ago.  I devoted over a year of my life to my first blog, trying to sort through my feelings about my failing marriage, who I was striving to become, realizing there was more to life than being a ‘just a mom’ (*cringe* I hate that phrasing, but you get what I mean) and what the fuck to do about it all.  As I’ve mentioned before, I finally had to abandon it because I lost the ability to be open and honest on it.  Drama was surrounding it, everywhere- and you all know how I feel about drama.  So I chose the high road and left it behind to begin a new life (both metaphorically and physically) and eventually a new blog.

4 years ago this week I began Secrets of a Blue- Eyed Vixen.  It was like a breath of fresh air….as I wrote about in my first post.  It seemed so perfectly perfect for me.  It’s been quite a road.  I have a few readers who have followed me from my very first blog.  They can attest the massive, amazing changes my life has taken.  And FOR THE BETTER!!!

So much has happened in the last four years. Mainly in that I have healed from my past ‘broken-ness’. I have grown tremendously.  I’m not the same person I was five…six years ago. I am better, stronger, more confident, HAPPIER… The person I used to be was a shell of who I knew I wanted to be. Much of this I give thanks to PC for. With out him by my side I’m not sure I would have made it.

I’ve decided in celebration, to mark the big event of five years of HNTs and the anniversary of this blog- that I am releasing a 2011 calendar.  10% of all proceeds will be donated to the Susan G. Komen Foundation.  I’ve set up an account and public profile with them so the donations can be followed (link coming soon).  The more you buy, the more that will be donated to this awesome, life saving cause.

Pre-sales begin today!!!
(Calendars will begin being shipped December 15)

*****

That said, hope everyone has a fantabulous weekend!!!

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~ xo

Vixen

She danced. She sang.

She took. She gave.

She loved.

The room spinning around us. Suddenly

She created.

She dissented. She enlivened.

She saw. She grew. She sweated.

She changed.

She learned. She laughed.

She shed her skin.

She bled on the pages of her days.

She walked through walls.

~CLICK~

She lived with intention.
“Living Eulogy” by Mary Anne Radmache (via julie911)

This week is monumental to me.  Four years ago I began a new chapter of my life, with the help of this blog.  (More to come about that on Friday) And I’ve decided to celebrate.  But I’m keeping it a secret until Friday’s post.  Tune in loverlies! *wink*

HappyHNT!!!

~ xo

Vixen