Don’t sample the goodies unless you’re willing to risk addiction and withdrawal ~CQW
posted by: Vixen~Ann Landers
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Can you turn a friend with benefits relationship into a real relationship? Matt has had an FWB relationship with a girl for about 7 months and recently realized/decided he wants more. He’s afraid to say something because he doesn’t want to lose the relations or the friendship.
But how will he know if he doesn’t talk with her about it???
Does it ever work to flip an FWB into a real relationship?
*From a girl’s perspective….I don’t see why he can’t have an honest discussion with her about this. ??? I don’t see why it would change things. Either she’s on board too…or she’s not. And if she’s not, she’ll tell him. And then why can’t they carry on. Either with the friendship only or with the FWB part too. Maybe I’m being unrealistic. But I know if it were me, I would have to say something. Otherwise I would obsess and drive myself crazy (surprising, I know! *snort*).
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~ xo
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November 16th, 2010 at 11:07 pm
FWB…..tried it, and voila girlfriend for a year. Not bad eh? The talk can be good!
DanielleNovember 17th, 2010 at 8:05 am
My friend has been happily married to her FWB for the last 7 years now. It can work for sure.
nitebyrdNovember 17th, 2010 at 11:57 am
If they are really friends then an honest, open discussion should be able to take place. He should be prepared for her not wanting more of relationship but he also may be pleasantly suprised.
MaggieNovember 17th, 2010 at 5:09 pm
It’s worth a try! Open communication is key though. And fearlessness. :)
EmmyNovember 17th, 2010 at 8:42 pm
They need to have a talk. It’s time to lay it out there and see what happens, IMO.
KennyNovember 18th, 2010 at 8:37 am
Here is the problem IMHO the FWB only works if there is an agreement upfront..right..its FWB nothing more that’s it. This is what makes FWB so hard cuz it has the potential to bleed over into something more emotional which is a train wreck. The reason why is it is FWB to begin with is because one or both parties don’t want to invest in a relationship. I liken it to the couple who decides they do not want to have kids when they get married then after the ring is on one of them changes their mind. It’s a real deal breaker and things can go bad fast.
That being said your friend should stop secretly be wanting more and continuing with the FWB and not telling the other party. He is getting in deeper and deeper ( no pun intended) and when she breaks it off because she found something she really wants he is going to be bitter, and she is going to be going “what the hell did I do” .
He needs to stop taking advantage of the benefits immediately. He needs to explain to his friend why. He needs to be candid about his feelings and apologetic because the other friend did not ask for this. At this point they can still be friends and she will either say OK ..no I can;t do this, or she could say hey I am in the same place and I want to be in a committed relationship too.
Bottom line if he keeps going and does nothing he really risks ending up with neither benefits or the friend part in the future.