I heard a term a bit ago that intrigued me.  Piqued my interest so much so that I went in search of more information.  And the more I learned about it, the more I so completely resonated with.  It was an *AHA!* moment…

Sexual Fluidity.  An idea that eliminates labels.  And suggests that people aren’t attracted to another person because of their gender but because of who they are.  And that one’s ‘sexual orientation’ isn’t always about sex, but about an emotional attachment as well.  No longer does a person’s sexuality have to be tied up all pretty in a perfect little box. 

Once upon a time, there was a certain clarity in the world of
sexuality. Regardless of whether one believed a homosexual orientation
was innate or a matter of choice, the sexual orientations were easily
and clearly defined: Those who were attracted to, and had sex with,
people of the opposite gender were heterosexual (straight), while
homosexuals (gays and lesbians) were attracted to, and had sex with,
people of the same gender. You knew who was who by the gender of the
sexual partner.

As time went on, the waters became muddied a bit by acknowledgment
of bisexuals and their ability to be attracted to, and have sex with,
people of either gender. Initially, they were seen as immature or
confused, either closeted gay people or curious straight people. But
eventually we got our heads around bisexuality and, for the most part,
accepted that it was a real sexual orientation, just like gay/lesbian
and straight.

Some completely straight individuals have unexpectedly found themselves
falling in love with, and being sexual with, those of the same gender,
and some happily gay people have unexpectedly become partnered with
those of the other gender.
~goodtherapy.org

Ah….that last paragraph.  That’s what made the most sense to me.  For most of my life I have only been attracted to females, but occasionally I would find myself drawn to a male.  PC tells people I’m his ‘lesbian wife’.  It takes so much more for me to be sexually attracted to men.  It’s few and far between that I will meet a man that I would even fathom being intimate with.  When things went south with my exH, I had no desire to be with another man.  Ever.  I was done.  And after all, my attraction was to females.  And then I met PC.  Which honestly, when we first met, neither of us had any intentions of becoming more than friends.  I was completely upfront with him that I was only interested in females and had no desire to be with a man ever again.  But well…it’s pretty clear that changed.  *wink*  PC used to love to gloat that he was the one who ‘changed’ me.

And then things changed slightly more this past year. In that I found I could actually be attracted to men.  If I felt that CLICK with *the right man* (where Ashton comes into play… *wicked grins*) . If I opened my mind to the idea.  And maybe initially I was battling with the fact that I didn’t want to be involved or attracted to another man.  But my search (with PC’s help also) for a female friend/playmate for the previous 3 years had resulted in nothing but absolute frustration.  So yeah….I guess I decided to broaden my interests, open myself up to more opportunities.  And hey, that’s worked out quite nicely.

Committing to a sexuality today is like committing to a favorite color for the rest of your life:
What if you love red now but find you prefer green later in life? There are many discoveries one makes about one’s self after having varied life experiences.
~afterellen.com

*****

Hope everyone had a fabulous weekend!  PC has recently decided to make some changes regarding his Jujitsu training and in doing so the kiddos and I have become more involved (as a family).  Very low key weekend but really, really great.  *beaming*

~ xo

Vixen

8 Responses to “Going with the flow..”

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