Playing with fire ~CQW
posted by: Vixen
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Can you have a FWB relationship with an ex?
They previously dated, were in a serious relationship, broke up. Have remained friends and now, sometime later have become FWB. She is worried one of them (probably more so her) will develop feelings again and doesn’t want that to happen. There was a good reason they broke up in the first place. They did not do well as a ‘couple’ in a relationship but the sex is fabulous.
Is she playing with fire by continuing the ‘benefits’ aspect of their friendship?
BTDT. For me, personally, it made me realize -again- WHY I didn’t want to be with that person anymore. BUT. Fabulous sex is well….fabulous. Right? And when it’s with someone you are already comfortable with. That’s yet another bonus, that in my opinion, makes sex even better. I do think you run into a small risk of re-developing feelings for that person. But I think when you have any friend with benefits relationship, that can happen.
Is it possible to be “friends with benefits” with someone you’ve had a
past relationship with and once had very strong feelings for? Can you
separate the emotions, or is this playing with fire?
*****
HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!
~ xo
Kenny
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January 25th, 2011 at 11:48 pm
Seriously, no good can come from this. This is a bad bad idea, and if I were a betting man when they are done there won’t even be a friendship left.
Chapter Two- BFDJanuary 26th, 2011 at 6:16 am
a friend of mine is doing this now. it is working well for them (but if I were to guess he still has feelings for her) they broke up in the first place because she doesn’t want nor will she ever agree to have another child, the guy has never been married and wants to pursue a family still- other than that they totally did and do get along.
I guess until the whole thing plays out I won’t know for sure….but for now it is working (of course we are talking about people in their very late 30′s here)
Joker_SATXJanuary 26th, 2011 at 8:39 am
Like the movie “When Harry Met Sally” clearly states. Once the sex thing is out there, a couple can’t be “Just Friends”. Eventually feelings will come into play.
AprilJanuary 27th, 2011 at 3:55 pm
It CAN be done, that’s for sure. I’ve done it with a couple of exes before. After we’d broken up, I didn’t want to go out looking for different men to please me. I’d do the booty call thing and be done with it.
However, if SHE is worried about her having feelings for him, then she more than likely will. Maybe she’s just not a good candidate for having a FWB be an ex?
pappieJanuary 27th, 2011 at 8:25 pm
Well my take on it always was as long as the rules were laid out in advance then all should be well. I think it can be done as long as both people understand the rules. It is really no different than cheating or FWB’s in general. If everyone keeps the emotion in check then all should be well.
MaggieJanuary 30th, 2011 at 10:23 am
It’s possible but it’s a lot of work. And if you’re going to put that much work into something, why not have it be a relationship?
I think the physical distance helps in my case. It’s easier not to develop deeper feelings when we both retreat back to our normal lives afterward.