BFD

even when I was single and accepting drinks from men (which by the way has NOT happened to me since I have been married) it did not mean I was allowing a flirt or even a consideration much less going home with them. So……why would it now?

  nitebyrd

Being from the dark ages, I’m thinking old school so I may be way off. I think buying a woman a drink might be an “opening line”. If she reads the guy correctly and makes it clear that his drink purchase is just a nice gesture, then sure, it’s okay. But back when guys bought me drinks, it was a prelude to something else.

  Westcoast Weirdo

“…it COULD be a prelude to something else.” The guy is hoping, but it doesn’t mean she HAS to take it there.

In my world, a beer given to me from *anyone* (friend, husband, stranger) is Drunk Sign Language for “Hi” and that’s it.

Let’s take the ‘beer’ out of it & replace it with just a wave. I can wave thanks, I can wave back, I can wave him over. It’s up to the girl to take the situation where SHE wants it. Would that guy friend get upset if a guy waved at the married girl??? He’s just insecure.

Quicksilver loves it when guys buy me beer, it saves our money!!!

  Vixen

BFD- right

PC- exactly, more money left in your wallet!

Nitebyrd- I agree, it could be an opening line. But as long as the woman isn’t shady about the fact that she is married, I feel she can still accept it. It’s the other person’s decision to still buy the drink or not. :)

  Vixen

Roxy- EXACTLY It’s totally like a ‘Hi/Hello’!

  Kenny

Id be lying if I didn’t say that if a woman bought me a drink ( which now that I think about it has never happened) but I digress..if a woman bought me a drink I would think it was an invitation. Not necessarily to sex, but certainly it would indicate interest and an invitation to conversation.

That being said accepting a drink does not make her a whore bought and paid for. This is not a business contract, and if a guy buys her a drink he is entitled to nothing beyond the satisfaction of purchasing the drink.

I say this because it really is up to her where things go next and whether the boyfriend/husband should be concerned. If she extends a simple thank you and and some small talk its ok. Id she is more flirtatious beyond that giving the guy false hope then depending on the nature of her relationship back home it has the potential to be innapropriate.

The bottom line here is accepting a drink is not a crime against humanity or her relationship for that matter. However, where she goes after that could be. She should also consider the fact that while her actions are completely harmless they are playing with fire. Therefore, while there is nothing wrong with a committed man or woman drinking along in the bar and accepting drinks from strangers, the more you do it though the more you are likely to open yourself up to temptation. Now if that is not what you are looking for it can only lead to trouble.

  Jen

just the other night I was out with friends and when my tab came one of the guys grabbed it. I didn’t know him, he was a friend of theirs but I nicely said “thank you that was so kind” and he said no problem. As long as it’s clear you’re married and aren’t sending mixed signals I agree ~ more $$ in your pocket.

  BTExpress

I was out to dinner at a local bar and struck up a conversation for 4 women. It was one of the girls birthday, so the bar maid bought us all shots.

(FYI, I’m very friendly and will strike up friendly conversations with just about anybody. I’m also very well known there and my son & his friends hang out there a lot, so the bar maid buying me shots isn’t unusual.)

Anyway, the woman sitting next to me starts telling about her lousy marriage and I tell her about my good relationship with my girl friend. She keeps going on and even mentioned her lousy sex life. Then she offers to buy me a shot. Not her friends, just me. I payed my tab and left.

Now, let me ask, was she expecting my to put out or was it just my imagination? ;-)

PS
Yes, I did drink the last shot. I didn’t want to offend her. lol

  Holy City Sinner

You can definitely buy me a drink anytime you want!

I have no issue with my g/f going out without me and accepting a drink from another guy. Once he tries to move passed just a drink, that’s when I’d expect her to turn him down. Pretty simple!

  Emmy

Buying a drink is an opening line – and accepting it is no different than accepting someone’s compliment that “you are beautiful”. Neither case it is a commitment to anything. It is simply someone casting a net – and coming up empty. To think otherwise is just someone stuck in the past. (Which it sounds like that guy is especially if he has issue with a married woman going out alone.)