The heart wants what the heart wants ~CQW
posted by: Vixen
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On my radio station last week a guy called in seeking advice. He met a woman through work, they’ve become close friends over the last three years. He’s dated other women and none of them ever come close to comparing to his close friend. He believes he’s found the woman of his dreams and is truly in love with her. The problem? She’s married. AND has no idea how he feels about her.
He’s not sure what he should do. He *loves* her, is positive she is THE ONE. He really cares about her though and is not wanting to turn her life upside down or ruin their friendship.
The majority of the people who called in to offer him advice agreed he should tell her. Let her know how he feels. That if he doesn’t, he’ll never know if she might feel the same way. That “The heart wants what the heart wants” and there is no control over that. What if this IS his ‘one true love’ and she feels the same way but because he never says anything….well…. So, what does he do???
Have you ever been in love with a married friend? How did you deal with it? Should he say anything to his friend???
This happened one time to me….’ish’. In my early twenties. I realized I had a huge crush on a close friend of my ‘then’ boyfriend (exH). I kept it to myself. One drunken night he revealed to me that he had fallen in love with me. We both pretended the next day that he hadn’t admitted it. Finally, eventually, we talked about it and agreed our friendship with each other, his with my exH, and overall…not a good thing. Everything else was more important than rocking the boat to find out ‘what if’. But honestly, to this day, I wonder. Obviously things with my exH went way south, and it’s hard not to think…well what if we *had* explored options???? But I don’t live my life by ‘woulda/shoulda/coulda’….regrets are a waste of time. But I have to say, if I were him, I think he should try to broach the subject with her. My humble opinion……
*****
HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!
~ xo
Vixen
nitebyrd
Says:
March 31st, 2011 at 10:17 am
Since they are close friends, he must know how she feels about her marriage and husband. If they are happy together, then he should remain silent. But if he knows her marriage isn’t working – speak up.