What’s in a number? ~CQW
posted by: Vixen
(click the button for more info, email me if you have any great ideas for a topic, I’d love to hear from you!)
This was being discussed recently on a radio station’s facebook page. I was searching for something and got caught up in the conversation.
Does it matter to you how many your partner has had?
Have you had any problems with someone once you revealed how many partners you’ve had?
It was interesting all the different takes. People saying it had caused issues in past relationships, so they now practiced the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. Another said, they didn’t think the number mattered unless it is more than before they entered into a committed relationship (doh…good one, haha).
The double standard of how it’s ‘more ok’ for a guy to have a higher number than a girl, was mentioned and debated.
“I think the double standard can be explained like this.
A Key that fits alot of locks, is a master key. (Guy)
A Lock that fits alot of keys is a shitty Lock. (Girl)”
*shaking head* (NOT ok….) I do think it’s become less of a double standard in today’s society. But it’s still there, especially after reading that comment above.
I liked one girls comment of-
“I have been around the block several times and still making laps”
Gotta love her honesty!
Probably the best advice and my stance- “I don’t think it should matter, just wrap it before you tap it”
*snort*
I think numbers are unimportant. I do want to know about previous partners, but the number isn’t going to bother me nor am I going to judge them by it. I’ve been with more females then men (over twice as many actually…). I became common law married while practically still in high school and remained faithful to him (not to be confused with him to me *AHEM*) for 15years before the relationship fell apart. And then well, I realized boys are fun. Definitely not trying to add notches on my bedpost but nothing wrong with being well versed in my opinion. *wink*
Does a number matter to you????
*****
HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!
~ xo
Westcoast Weirdo
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March 2nd, 2011 at 7:54 am
I guess I look at it more like…WHY is that # high or low (compared to what I think is average). I don’t really care, but I want to know why before I decide what type of investment I’m going to make. I don’t want to get played unknowingly. If I know I’m just another game piece, it’s my decision to realize that & be ok with it (Hell, sometimes a piece of ass is just a piece of ass!).
If the car I’m looking at goes through a lot of brakes, I want to know why before I possibly get in it & take a drive! (& by that I mean what type of relationship, not sex).
PCMarch 2nd, 2011 at 8:15 am
I don’t really care about the number, though mine is low.
And I know you aren’t trying to accumulate notches on the bedpost…
We don’t have a bedpost.
Cougar and LuckyMarch 2nd, 2011 at 9:45 am
My wife and I married young. I was not very experienced at all. She was. Early in our relationship I admit it bothered me. A lot of that was because we were young but I think some of it had to do with the times. We were at the height of “Don’t Do Drugs” and Aids so everyone was a little repressed.
I think all of that has started to backfire when it comes to our current time. People will only take being told what is right and wrong for so long.
From my point of view today women are not being labled as sluts – at least in a bad way :) and I think men are starting to care less about who and how many men a woman has slept with. In fact I think a more experienced partner is becoming the preference.
Why just look at Charlie Sheen. Of course safe sex, rubbers, and all that…
There is always someone looking for a virgin, to which I say good luck and have fun with your boring existance on earth.
KennyMarch 2nd, 2011 at 10:08 am
Look…bottom line..if you love someone…I mean really love them….like you know the shit forever is made of (if that really exists)the number is irrelevant. In fact, I don’t even think it should be a point of conversation in a healthy relationship.
People need to learn to live in the present more, and quit dwelling on the past. Old relationships leave fingerprints on all of us and that’s it. No need to get all forensic about them.
MediocrityMarch 2nd, 2011 at 12:08 pm
I agree with Kenny. I am not about numbers, and I have no idea how many women any of my lovers have slept with prior to me. Even in a serious relationship it doesn’t matter. I’m happy to share how many men I have had, and he can share too, but its not something I have to know.
If a guy is really into me, then he is really into me. If I am just a piece of ass, then I am just a piece of ass. Either I trust him or I don’t. How many partners someone has had doesn’t affect any of those things.
Whats most important to me is safety. I would rather fuck someone who fucked 13 people and used condoms (at least with most of them) and gets tested, than fuck someone who slept with 3 people but never used a condom or got tested.
The important question should be, “When was the last time you got tested?” Not, “How many people have you slept with?”
MaggieMarch 2nd, 2011 at 2:13 pm
I am actually the more experienced one in my current relationship (by a lot). It would bother him to know my exact number and it surprisingly bothered me to know he had been with so few people simply because I thought he’d think I was super slutty in comparison. But he doesn’t want to know specifics as long as it was all safer sex practices.
VixenMarch 2nd, 2011 at 4:38 pm
Roxy-
If the car I’m looking at goes through a lot of brakes, I want to know why before I possibly get in it & take a drive!
LOL! Exactly!!!
VixenMarch 2nd, 2011 at 4:39 pm
PC- this is true, got me there! Ahahaha….
VixenMarch 2nd, 2011 at 4:41 pm
Cougar and Lucky- I’ve learned to embrace my inner slut and am quite happy about it!
I agree with what you have said about today’s society having a different (better) view.
Kenny- AGREED! No need to get all forensic in a relationship. Love that you said that!
VixenMarch 2nd, 2011 at 4:42 pm
Mediocrity-
The important question should be, “When was the last time you got tested?” Not, “How many people have you slept with?”
Completely agree!
EmmyMarch 2nd, 2011 at 8:17 pm
Agreeing with the tested comment. Numbers don’t matter. It just takes one to fuck everything up – or change it completely. Not that I would know anything about that one! ;-)
Prude and ConfusedMarch 2nd, 2011 at 8:56 pm
In agreement! I don’t think the number is important (as long as one of those numbers don’t cause any drama for us now), however they would have to be tested.
Sadie SmytheMarch 2nd, 2011 at 9:33 pm
I have NO idea what my number is but it’s much higher now than before I got married :)
xo~Sadie
BFDMarch 2nd, 2011 at 10:50 pm
I too want to know WHY their number is so high or so low if that is the case. I would fear very high numbers as equaling commitment issues- if I were just in it for the f that night- fine, whatever. but if I am looking to commit I’d like to not be just another (basically, I agree with
Roxy)