(click the button for more info, email me if you have any great ideas for a topic, I’d love to hear from you!)

Arnold Schwarzenegger is rumored to have said he started stepping out on Maria because she was denying him of relations. Season 2 of The Real L Word started back up this last weekend….one of the lesbian couples have been involved/living together for 6mo and talk about going through a ‘dry spell’ and one of the females is quite disgruntled over this. 

Which brings up the question…
Do you think being in a sexless marriage for a long period of time encourages someone to cheat?

Encourage them?  HELL FUCKING YES.  YES. IT. DOES.  Now…whether it makes it *OKAY* ….I guess that in my mind is more debatable.

If I were to pick apart the lesbian couple experiencing a ‘dry spell’ after having been together for 6 mo…  Hmm…that sets off warning bells all over the fucking place for me.  If after 6mo you aren’t still ‘doing it like bunnies’ (to put it bluntly..haha) um, hello…PROBLEM!

But back to the original question.  I absolutely think if you with hold intimacy and sexual relations from your partner you are ‘encouraging’ them to go elsewhere.  We all have needs.  And if you decided together- as a couple- to not..then fine.  But otherwise I feel like you do what you can to please each other.  Intimacy and sex are extremely important *to me*.  With out it…I have no connection and the relationship is doomed.  Now…what is ‘acceptable’ and falls with in that definition might be different depending on the couple.  Now does it make it ‘ok’ to step out and cheat…eh…nooooo…..but I certainly understand it.  I do.  Sex/intimacy is important people!  (and I say both because I know people who cheat because they crave *intimacy*…almost more than the sex)

Thoughts?

*****

HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!

~ xo

Vixen

(click the button for more info, email me if you have any great ideas for a topic, I’d love to hear from you!)

This topic came up on my radio station…

Her husband has given her permission to cheat.  When they married she had been a virgin and was very young, he on the other hand is a bit older than her and had been with quite a few women previously.  She’s been finding herself fantasizing about other men quite a bit lately.  She loves her husband very much, has no intentions of leaving him, she wants to be married with him.  But is curious.  He has offered her a 7 day “Hall Pass”.  She’s not sure if she should do it or not.

I was completely taken aback by the responses on the radio station.  People were throwing out things like he’s probably cheating on her already so she should leave him.  That HE should leave her for having these feelings.  They should just divorce because they obviously don’t love each other. 
*shaking head*

I guess I’m just a lot more open minded to think this could possibly work.  But I also believe there is nothing wrong with open marriages, swinging, being polyarmorous, etc.  Society has grown and with it different relationship dynamics and types.  I mean, you don’t want to do that in your relationship?  Fine.  So don’t.  *shrug*  But to belittle, berate and attack someone else for wanting to try something in theirs?  Shut the fuck up.  Seriously.  (sorry, nothing strikes a nerve more with me than people who are narrow minded and judgmental of others)

Now the question of if she should do this or not….  That’s not something I think anyone can answer except for her husband and her.  Is it playing with fire?  Possibly.  I commend her husband for being confident and secure enough in himself, her and their marriage to encourage her to do this  She needs to delve into her feelings, the stability of their relationship, they need to be pretty open and honest with each other about expectations, how the other is feeling, etc.  I think a lot of communication needs to happen before she decides to take advantage of his offer.

Thoughts?

*****

HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!

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~ xo

Vixen

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Yeah.  My night was a little bit like this.  Ok.  Actually, it was exactly like this.

But not before this…..

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Sorry for the delay in posting.  As you can see, I was a bit um, busy.

*wicked grins*

*****

TFT is up as well.  Go check out lovely gals and guys who have contributed this week!

~ xo

Vixen

Friday Favorites-

Couple new ones that we haven’t seen much of!  Bella’s making a come back and damn….so glad she did! *wink*  If you haven’t already, click the links and show the girls some love!
Bella…..

Happy Swinger Chick….

Barefoot Dreamer…..

*****

This week began with me traveling most of Monday- after an awful bout of insomnia the night before (who drinks all day Sunday and then can’t sleep?!  Gah…). My incredibly sweet girlfriend husband greeted me at the airport (*sigh*  seriously. in. love….) and we headed home.  A home which, much to our chagrin, was with out water. 

Oh.  Fuck me. 

While melting snow on the stove the next morning so the kiddos could wash their faces and hands….  LM excitedly says- “It’s just like camping!”

Um, yeah….   Wheeee!  *groan*
Camping and I?  Not that close of friends (anymore).  There is a reason.  Let me explain.  This one time, at band camp.  *snort* …kidding…  Ok seriously, I am an experienced camper.  I know how to pitch a tent. Start a fire.  Cook whatever food is necessary.  I can even make a damn good cup of coffee on a propane cook stove OR campfire.  Once upon a time I could rock the camping scene.  And loved it.

In addition- My exH and I moved into our first home immediately out of high school.  We worked at a popular ski resort and lived in one of the coldest towns in the state.  In a house with out heat….except for the tiny wood stove that struggled at best to keep anything further than a 5′ radius warm.  We learned to deal with/try to prevent frozen pipes.  And literally froze our asses off for several winters…  Who knew thermals could be considered lingerie!

After a spell in Key West to thaw out, we bought our first house when we were barely twenty.  In the mountains.  In the middle of nowhere.  It was a far cry from our ‘dream home’ but it was on 5 acres and OURS.  It also lacked indoor plumbing and running water.  And our only source of heat was a wood burning stove.  It was ‘glorified camping’.  But we were young and adventurous and on our own and loving it.  It didn’t seem that bad.

At first. 
We lived that way for 6months before we finally had saved up enough money to have a well installed to provide water (for city folk who have no idea what I‘m talking about- many people who live outside of town in the mountains/country don’t have access to city provided water so each household has to have their own inground well dug/installed).  We lived in that house for 3 years before we were able to build our custom ‘dream home’ and move closer to town (closer as in ‘only’ 45min away from the teeny tiny town we lived near, as opposed to 1.5hours).

I have earned my dues.  I am well experienced with chopping and gathering wood, building fires and keeping them going so that your pipes don’t freeze and you don’t freeze your own ass off, getting the most ‘bang for your buck’ when it comes to water usage and water conservation.  Running water in the house (finally) did not mean running water outside.  So I am also well learned on the carrying of buckets upon buckets of water to outdoor livestock.

I know I am a better, stronger, more rounded and diversified person because of these life experiences.  I might be a total girly girl but a rugged, rough and tumble one at that.  I know how to pull my big girl panties on and suck it up when need be.  But so forgive me if the idea of camping makes me cringe.  Do I regret those early prehistoric, glorified camping days?  No way.  Would I want to relive those days?  NO FREAKIN WAY.

Thankfully the problem was pin pointed and a new pump for our well was installed Wednesday morning.  Three days with out water was livable.  I mean, I have skills baby!  But I was overjoyed to enjoy again the simple luxuries such as flushing, showers, laundry, etc that running water provides. (doh)

*****

Enjoy your weekend. I owe everyone some more pics from my Roxyville trip last weekend, promise they are coming!

~ xo

Vixen

(click the button for more info, email me if you have any great ideas for a topic, I’d love to hear from you!)

I was half listening to a morning radio show while driving the other day and heard this bit of info-

In a poll done recently, 25% of women say if they discovered their spouses had had a one night stand they would forgive and stay with them. 

***Because I was only half listening I didn’t catch where this poll was taken and usually after a bit of research I can find the source, but couldn’t.

Now the deciding factor to these polled women, was the circumstance of a *one night stand* vs.  a full blown *affair*.  The radio show people were shocked, thinking this was a pretty high number.  Which….actually didn’t phase me.

To everyone….if you discovered your spouse had had a one night stand, could you forgive them?  Would it make a difference to you that it was only one night, as opposed to an affair which suggests a ‘relationship’.  Also, how much would it matter to you how you found out?  If your spouse came forward with the information and told you….are you more able to forgive then the incident coming forth accidentally?

I’m not sure how one moves past their spouse cheating on them.  The trust that would feel so…..lost, I’d feel like my relationship was very broken.  Having come out of a marriage where he cheated the entire time…  Well.  It was an awful, gut wrenching feeling.  I’m not really here to debate that point though.  That point is an entirely different topic….lord.  BUT that said, I could most likely forgive.  AND it would make it much easier for me to knowing it was a one night thing.  A relationship….much more difficult to get past.

So yes. I am in that 25% polled.  You?

*****

HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!

(vi.sualize.us)

~ xo

Vixen

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You put the car into park. Prepared to get out.

I lean in to kiss you.  Pulling your face to mine.  My hands on your cheeks. 

Gently. Then forcefully. Biting your lip playfully. You try to pull away. …I won’t allow you to.

I climb into your lap. Pulling my dress up around my hips. Pushing my bare heels under your thighs.

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My hands behind your neck. Pulling you closer.

Your hands on my ass. I can feel your thumb pressing into my ass cheek, fingers from your other hand against the thin lace of my panties.

I had momentarily considered taking them off earlier and decided not to. Because I had purposely wanted to feel your fingers against the lace.

I grind my weight into you.  Pushing against you.  Grinding. Feeling how you respond.  How incredibly hard you are.  Deliciously so.

I’m loving the power I feel over you.

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*****

TFT is up!  Go check it out!  Many of your favorite bloggers are over there….just sayin.  *THANK YOU* everyone!

Would love to have you contribute  ANYONE can…just snap and Send!

*****

Have a fabulous Tuesday!

~ xo

Vixen

(vi.sualize.us)

Late at night.  As we made out. Hot and heavy.  In the car. Me in his lap.  Kissing.  Hands everywhere.  Mouths everywhere.  Breathing heavily.   Panties were off (I. was. so. wet.).  Because he asked…

He gestures to a wall.  In front of a building we are parked near.  Telling me he wants to take me.  There.

Yes.

My mind racing.  Of course.

Pulling my dress up over my hips and ass.  Behind me.  His hands on my waist.  Bent over.  Fucking me. 

Hard. 

Yes.

*thrilling*

*****

TFT is not going to make it up by midnight.  I tried uploading pictures all day and WordPress was being a pissy little bitch.  Look for it Tuesday morning instead. I’ll let you know when I’m finally able to post it.

*****

I lucked out.  TFT almost didn’t make it up tonight.  WordPress was being a pissy little bitch earlier.  *Thankfully* I finally got her to cooperate and upload pics.  *whew*  Don’t forget to check it out!  Many of your favorite bloggers are over there….just sayin.  *THANK YOU* everyone!

Would love to have you contribute  ANYONE can…just snap and send. Send.

*****

Have a fabulous Tuesday!

~ xo

Vixen

(click the button for more info, email me if you have any great ideas for a topic, I’d love to hear from you!)

(weheartit)

So.  His wife cheated on him.  They have decided to work it out and try to stay together.  He has decided he wants to know everything.  As in….wants to read all the emails and texts, know all the details of the relations.  He feels this will help him figure out where/why things went wrong.  What he wasn’t doing ‘good enough’ that caused her to seek someone outside their marriage.  He thinks this will help him gain some ‘closure’.  But he also feels he has the right to know.  She was the one who cheated and was in the wrong.

(weheartit)

His wife feels super uncomfortable sharing all those details with him.  She thinks it is only going to hurt him more.  That if they are going to try to stay together, they should move forward and work on them as a ‘couple’, on their marriage and remove the focus from the affair.

I AGREE!!!!!  No good is going to come of reading those emails and texts. I have no idea the circumstances around him finding out she was cheating on him.  But IMO, it’s like adding salt to already fresh, open wounds.  I can kind of sort of wrap my mind around wanting to know some of the details of the affair. Possibly he might be able to gain some insight to why she cheated on him.  Possibly.  But I still believe, if they are going to stay together and move on, they need to focus on the repair of their marriage.  If he is going to forgive and forget, I would think the last thing he would want, would be the details!  Dwelling on hurtful evidence like emails, texts and intimate details aren’t conducive to him ‘moving on’. 

*****

HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!

(vi.sualize.us)

~ xo

Vixen

(vi.sualize.us)

My back to the wall.  His body against mine.  Our lips meet. 

He grabs my ass.  As he lifts me up.  I wrap my legs around his waist. 

The rain falling over us.  Cold.  Wet.  Soaking.  But at the same time, barely noticeable. 

We kiss.  Passionately.  Intensely.

Sinking to the ground.  Me in his lap.  His hands against the small of my back.  The back of my head.  Tangling his fingers into my wet hair.  Pushing our lips closer.  His hot breath against mine.  His kisses becoming more urgent.  Completely drenched by the rain.  Dripping.  Everywhere. Down his eyelashes into my mouth…..

This is when I love the rain.

******

TFT is up!

ANYONE can contribute. Girl, guy, couple, hell, your entire fraternity/bachelorette party… Snap. Send. It’s all cool. Be as simple, artsy, or whatever…as you’d like. It doesn’t have to be anything special! Or make it be. Hey, my point is, whatever you feel comfortable doing- I’ll take it and put up. ALSO, you can contribute anonymously if your little heart so desires. OR let me know how you would like to be linked/titled.

I’ll make it even easier. You want to become a regular contributor? You can send me one picture at a time. Or bunches. I’ll start a file and pull a picture from it each week. I’m easy people (I keep telling you all that! *grins*)!

Email me HERE or even HERE….

******

Have a fabulous Tuesday!!!

~ xo

Vixen

(vi.sualize.us)

Ok now.  Nothing new here when I say…I *love* Sadie.  Adore the girl.  *swoon* Um.  Yeah. Moving on.  My point to this uncomfortable display (lol) is that she wrote this post a bit ago that I so completely resonated with!

She referred to something called NRE- New Relationship Energy.  Described by Zhahai Stewart in the 80′s as this…..

“the heady rush of escalating emotional connection and the hot juiciness of a growing sexual attraction, with a person we are just beginning to know and want to know better, much better. It may be viewed as new lust, but it’s definitely a factor to reckon with.”

One of my frequent commenters, jr had asked awhile back for me to explain something I’d said in a post or two.  I’ve referred to something like this, had it on my mind for sometime now. But couldn’t really ‘explain it’ as well as I wanted to.  Until I read her post. “THIS”…what I’m doing outside my marriage, is intoxicating, addicting.  And this NRE is what I’m talking about.  It’s a fantastic high.  There is something completely exhilarating about being into someone new.  The flirting, the stimulating conversations as well as the random ones, the glances, the smiles, touches, kissing, the heart fluttering, and yes….the sex. The amazing sex.

Speaking of…..  Finally saw Yummy after having not seen him for something like 3wks (stupid surgery).  I admit it, I had missed him.  Text, IM….totally not the same.  I looked back, we’ve been seeing each other since like mid February, consistently.  Well. Being with him again was….I’m going to sound like such a girl….mmm, amazing?  Fun?   Fabulous?  Nice?  (What word fits best here???) We went to a movie.  Which was….eh.  Not as great as I hoped it would be or thought it would be.  Very violent and gory.  Well, I mean.  What I saw of it.   Bc I was kind of um, busy.  *ahem* Exhibitionism….you know I love it.  And what took place in that mostly empty movie theater was hot. hot. HOT.  Hands, mouths, clothing undone….  Passion.  Want.  Desire.  Is your imagination running rampant yet?  Wait.  I haven’t even mentioned the car ride home (where the topic of not being able to make it there with out pulling over came up…numerous times).  Or the hours after wards.  *wicked grins*

(vi.sualize.us)

So yeah.
And PC says I glow.   Which is all sorts of….awesome.   ~grins~

~ xo

Vixen