In the spirit of Christmas, Maxim published their “Holiday Gift Guide”.  I post my own Holiday Gift Guide(s) every year (look below for mine) and thought I’d kick it off with Maxim’s. From utterly ridiculous to fun and brilliant ideas like….

• 2010 Audi R85.2 ($146,000) ….a stocking stuff, you know?  (DOH!)
• Logitech Squeezebox Radio ($199) ….2.4″ color LCD screen and speaker loud enough to rouse the cops, extremely compact.  Streams endless tunes via wi-fi from internet radio, subscriber music services and iTunes collection.
• Olympus E-P1 candid camera ($799) ….retro looking digicam boasts high-tech SLR specs: 12.3 megapixel, HD resolution, HD video and aresenal of interchangable lenses
• Sennheiser HD 428 headphones ($99) …..big, bassy, lightweight headphones designed for portable players, even your tiny MP3 will sound like audio gold.
• Ralph Lauren Holiday Sweater ($495) ….they even have special holiday sweaters for your DOG! ~wink~
• Zune HD ($218 +$15/mo) ….gets you all the music you can download, which makes this product FAR superior to the Apple iPod!  (PC has this and *LOVES* it, he’s an Apple die-hard but swears by this)
• Black & Decker Ready Wrench ($30) ….each end of the cool tool rotates to present 16 different socket sizes, eliminating the space, organization and effort required by the traditional ratchet set.  A tool that actually makes you look like less of one! ;)
• PeaCoat ($1,250) ….Italian fashion by Calvin Klein, meant to turn any man into a dapper gentleman, hey what man doesn’t need a twelve hundred dollar coat?!
• Beer of the Month Club (from $21) ….sends you a dozen 12-oz beers a month from a selection of over 1,000 US and international microbrews.
• Rugby Robe ($50) ….herringbone trim with a sporty hood and cotton exterior says “classy but tough”.
• Polaris RUSH ($10,299) ….RUSH’s progressive suspension will save your ass- and increase your odds of hooking up with the mountain girl seated behind you.
• TwitterPeek ($98) ….this gadget has just one purpose- to let you spastically update your Twitter feed from anywhere.  Life time service for an additional $99 and you’ll never feel alone again! (um…really????? this scares and worries me on SO many levels…..lol)
• HP DreamScreen ($250- “10″) ….syncs wirelessly with your PC to stream photos, videos, music, even your FB status.
• Patron (from $59) ….comes in a variety of flavors and varities!  Seriously, a gift no one could pass up!

******

Every year I post a list of gift ideas and since it’s the first week of December I thought I would continue tradition.  This is the ‘mostly tame’ list of what I consider practical, GREAT gifts.

***For the hairy man on your list….
The Razorba [ray-zor-buh] is the convenient, do-it-yourself, painless, embarrassment-free, solution to back hair. 100% guaranteed!

“Let’s face it, back hair on a man isn’t attractive. It’s the equivalent of a woman with hairy legs. But for men, there is no easy way to rid yourself of back hair, until now.”

Back hair solved!

***Sip and solute…Operation Home Front
Soldiers Spirit-
Some of the cash you drop for this bourbon (Jim Beam) will provide military families with scholarships, financial aid and counseling.

***The gift that keeps on giving….
Cigar of the Month Club

Microbrewed Beer of the Month Club

Beer of the Month Club
Don’t like beer?  They have clubs for cake, wine, bbq sauce, cheese, chocolate, cookie, coffee, ice cream, pasta, salsa, hot sauce….you get the idea.

Pajama Gram
1-800-GIVE-PJs
Fun, feminine, classic, flirty, comfy, flannel, silk, satin….hey, you name it, they GOT IT!  Even sizes from xs-3x.  Not just for women either.  They have men, kids, family sets.  Check them out!

***Of course a favorite of mine…
How can you go wrong with the Lingerie of the Month!  Any of you men out there, DO THIS.  I think this is SUCH an excellent gift.  For your girl to be surprised with a new pretty thing each month…. *swoon*
Or
Panty-of-the-Month Club
Other Gift of the Month Lingerie Programs

***You know what is on MY list….

Mimi Holliday
Oh. be. still. my. beating. heart.  My newest obsession love. (unfortunately the polka dot stuff is sold out and can not be found anywhere.  *HUMPF*)

(I did find some made to order vintage styling panties from a seller on Etsy that are very similar to these though!)

Victoria’s Secret
There’s something for every girl… 
My favorite button to click and lust over right now is : “WHAT’S SEXY NOW”

But they also have some of the best jammies.  I seriously *heart* their PJ’s.

Betsey Johnson makes some fabulous stuff.  I gush about her shoes, but she also has handbags!, dresses!!, and….LINGERIE!!!!

***Of course you should support the Sex Work Awareness Project.  Twelve of NYC’s most dynamic literary and sex positive women participated this year.  Great cause and awesome calendar.  C’mon, we ALL need calendars come January 1st!

2010 NYC Sex Bloggers Calendar

*****

Several more products I love, love, love and swear by that would make excellent Stocking Stuffers-

Sephora
Hell, gift cards!!!!
Bliss Body Butter….this stuff is like *heaven* in a bottle.  It goes on so light and creamy, absorbs quickly leaving a silky smooth feeling.  What I love most is I have very sensitive skin and have to be super careful that the lotion I use is A- thick enough to battle our very dry winters that suck the moisture out of you and B- fragrance/chemical free so that I don’t break out in hives (lovely, I know….)

They also have something called Philospophy, featuring exclusive collections of delicious luxuries like “The Bake Shoppe” (Pink Frosted and Raspberry Mouse Shampoo/Shower Gel/Bubble Bath, Raspberry Mouse Flavored Lip Shine, Sweet Creamy Frosting Body Lotion), “The Winter Escape” (Hot Cocoa Showe Gel, Marshmellow Lip Shine, Body Souffle), plus MANY more.


Sephora Brilliant Shine Lip Gloss-
I *hate* lip gloss that leaves your lips sticky and ultimately dried out.  This stuff does *NOT*.  It smells great, long lasting, colors (and there are a TON to choose from) are subtle and once applied you forget about it.  Hey, low maintenance lip gloss- my favorite!

e.l.f. Lip Gloss
Many different shades/colors and types.  Sold at Target or many different places online.  The best thing about this product is it’s great stuff AND super inexpensive.

*****

Through out the month I’ll be posting more Holiday Gift Ideas, from naughty to oh-hell-no (lol).  Keep an eye out!
For those interested, here is last year’s list-
2008/2007 Gift Ideas

Enjoy your Saturday!

(vi.sualize.us)

~ xo

Vixen

The theme this week is called “Three Wishes”.  You are to gift to three HNTers.  This is something I began obsessing about months ago (I know, I know…you’re surprised ~wink~).  So here ya go.  Click on the gifts.  :)

Biscuit
She tried to use the excuse with me of not having more fun lingerie as part of the reason why she was taking her sporaticus.  So…..

Rage
That poor (hot, lol) thing has been through more shit health wise recently. In fact last I heard, Christmas eve she is going in for *more* surgery.  Plus she put up this totally bizarre list of different things to do with a certain alcohol  Quite frankly it scared me, lol.  I figured these two things might help her feel a bit better…..

SR
The ‘rules’ say you aren’t supposed to gift to a close friend, but I really, really, really wish I could give her these things IRL. *sigh*

…to here of course…..for New Years Eve
 
and she will need-

and-

(these fucking ROCK!)

I WISH!!!!

******

Now this is what a certain Secret Santa sent ME for Christmas!  Isn’t this freakin’ awesome?! 

(you could always click it if you felt like it *grins*)

HappyHNT and hope everyone has a fantabulous and extra special Christmas Eve!

Pssst….bc what I ‘do’ is take WAY too many HNT pics (lol), I’ll be putting up more from last weeks Lights series on Christmas Day.

~xo

Mute Monday-

is for….Touch

Chagrin

******

A year ago today (Dec 22) PC asked me to marry him.  I was completely taken off guard and it was the best proposal I’ve ever gotten.  Ok, so it was the only real one.  *LOL* ;)  But it was unexpected and perfect.  That man makes me freakin’ giddy.  It’s disgusting how much.  Right?!  Hehe!  …:::happy sigh:::…

My niece’s birthday was Sunday.  We spent the afternoon at the museum, which the kids *LOVED*.  They currently have an *awesome* dinosaur exhibit that the boys (LM and nephew) loooooooooooved.  It was super cool.

Holy cow…..can you people believe it will be Christmas in three days?!?!

*stunned*

The kiddos and I are going to put together a Gingerbread House and possibly a couple batches of Gingerbread Cookies.  I also desperately need to clean my house, get several posts ready for this week.  Oh.  And I have a date with a girly friend.  *grins*  I’m excited! It’s been a long while since I’ve felt there was a girl I was interested enough in to get together with. 

******

Reminder-
Your last chance to get in your ***Holiday themed*** TFT contribution is 10:00pm MTS.  You can send your pics HERE, just let me know how you would like it linked/labeled.

Have an absolutely fantastic Monday!!!

By beth cocuzzi of Pussycat pinups

~xo

1. Trim his tree.

2. Lick his luscious candy cane.

3. Be his “ho-ho-ho” for the holidays.

4. Polish his Christmas balls.

5. Ride him like a reindeer.

6. Taste his sweet egg-nog.

7. Deck the halls with moans of pleasure.

8. Fa, la, la, latio – la, la, la, la.

9. Spark his menorah with a hot strip tease.

10. Request a stiff stocking stuff-her!

11. Make his Kris Kringle tingle.

12. Gift wrap yourself in sexy lingerie.

13. Unwrap his package.

14. Hang mistletoe from any place you want kissed.

15. Rock his jingle bells in the frosty air.

16. Make your Rudolph’s hose as red as his nose.

17. Heat him up with a snow job.

18. Give the Christmas carolers a show of your own.

19. Dress up as Santa’s nasty little helper.

20. Make sure you’re naughty, so it’s nice.

Have a great Saturday!

~xo

~clickity click~

***ETA- my brilliant and awesome friend Joey helped me with some of the editing for this series with lights. I had the lights left over from last years Christmas HNT’s and figured I should put them to good use. *grins*

HappyHNT!!!

~xo

1. What is the greatest age difference  between you and a SO? Older or younger?
Probably PC, he’s 5 years older.  Not a huge significant difference.  I usually have always dated people near my age.

2. What is the greatest age difference between you and any sexual partner? Older or younger?
She was 15 years younger.  *ahem*  Oh lord was she fucking HOTTER than hell.  We had a very fun summer fling. ;)

3. Have you started your holiday shopping? Is it done?
DONE!!!  Booyah baby!!

4. What are the chances there will be a “naughty” present under the tree this year (either from you or for you)?
Um.  Slim to none.  LOL
I hope he’s not too disappointed about that. *snort*

5. What is your favorite holiday song?
I can’t choose.  I have 2- Christmas in Sarajevo and Baby It’s Cold Outside

Bonus (as in optional):Do you have a preferred time of day to have sex? If so, why?
I suppose I really love late night bestest of all.  Darkness is a HUGE turn on for me.  It’s when the real naughtiness comes out… *wicked grin*. But I’m also a huge fan of first thing in the morning.  Mid day quickies are cool too.  Hell, I’ll take it when I can get it!  (LOL)

******

TFT is up!

~*~**~Theme Alert~*~**~
You have one more week to send in your contribution for the special HOLIDAY/CHRISTMAS themed TFT.  Use your imagination, get creative and festive!  Then click and send.  Don’t forget to tell me how you would like to be linked and/or credited~!

Show your support for our soldiers and the site!!!  There are some great links listed as well, ideas for other ways to show your support and help them out.

******

HappyTMI!!!

~xo

Mute Monday-

is for…..

******

Friday-
Planned my entire day around the hair cut that didn’t happen.  The one I had obsessed over for two weeks.  Damnit. 
Long ass dress rehearsal for LP. 

Saturday-
LM spent the afternoon at a birthday party involving swimming, where the pool was over-chlorinated and our child came back to us looking as if he had been punched in both his eyes.  Yikes.  The poor mom was freaking that we would be upset. Of course we weren’t.  But (((his eyes)))

Attended LP’s dance recital.  Yay…memories.  *snort*  It was um, well….  No, those kids put a lot of hard work into it.  18 performances, all different styles of dance, numerous ages- it turned out great.  We were really proud of her.  Oh.  And I do know now that I am not a fan of creative movement.  WTF kind of dancing is that anyways?!  (LOL)  LM has decided he wants to do Hip Hop now too.  Hehe….

Sunday-
Spent the. entire. day. baking.  The kids and I participate in an annual bake-a-thon that usually lasts an entire weekend where we make numerous baked goods to give as gifts to teachers, neighbors, friends and family.  But due to prior commitments with kiddo related activities… that obviously couldn’t really happen.  PC was an complete sweetheart, offering to make numerous trips to the grocery store for me and be in charge of getting LP to and from her 2nd recital performance.  It alleviated all my stress and anxiety so that I could focus on getting a good portion of my baking done.  I seriously *heart* that man.  …:::swoon:::… 

Four loaves of pumpkin bread, two different types of fudge and two different types of Christmas cookies later…..  I’m getting there.  I still have 3 loaves of Cranberry Bread, Gingerbread men, Pretzel treats and the frosting of all the cookies to go by Friday but, I have faith. ;)

Oh. And I completely forgot to mention that LM came down out of the blue with a super high fever mid day.  Poor little guy.  Chlorinated, puffy red eyes one day and flushed cheeks and feeling crappy the next.  His cousin was just sick last wk with the same thing, although they haven’t been together in over a week.  I’m thinking they got each other sick through osmosis.  (lol)  (((LM))) 

******

Anyways it’s Monday.  My mom’s birthday was Friday, I’m taking her to lunch and a spa day.  I am absolutely *giddy*  about getting a pedicure.  Since flip flop season is over, it’s been something I have neglected.  I’m STOKED! 

Sunday was a whopping high of negative TEN.  I’m hoping for slightly warmer temps… ~*~*fingers crossed*~*~

*****

Don’t forget to send in your TFT contribution.  The Holiday themed week is coming up soon too, be thinking of what you want to do!  You have until 10pm MST to get them in.  It’s for a great cause.  :)

Happy Monday!!!

~xo

I put this up last year and liked it so much I wanted to post it again.  :)

Barbie
c/o Mattel, Inc.
El Segundo, CA 90245

Santa Claus
North Pole, North Pole
December 23, 1996

Dear Santa:

Listen you ugly little troll, I’ve been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas Present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya Santa, but IT’S DEFINITELY PAYBACK TIME! There had better be some changes around here this Christmas, or I’m gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and trust me, you won’t wanna be around to smell it). So, here’s my holiday wish list:

Santa:

1. A nice, comfy pair of sweat pants and a frumpy, oversized sweatshirt. I’m sick of looking like a hooker. How much smaller are these bathing suits gonna get? Do you have any idea what it feels like to have nylon and velcro crawling up your butt?

2. Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. Preferably white. What bonehead at Mattel decided to cheap out and MOLD imitation underwear to my skin?!? It looks like cellulite!

3. A REAL man…maybe GI Joe. Hell, I’d take Tickle-Me Elmo over that wimped-out excuse for a boytoy Ken. And what’s with that earring anyway? If I’m gonna have to suffer with him, at least make him (and me) anatomically correct.

4. Arms that actually bend so I can push the aforementioned Ken-wimp away once he is anatomically correct.

5. Breast reduction surgery. I don’t care whose arm you have to twist, get it done.

6. A jogbra. To wear until I get the surgery.

7. A new career. Pet doctor and school teacher just don’t cut it. How about a systems analyst? Or better yet, a public relations senior account exec!

8. A new, more hip persona. Maybe “PMS Barbie”, complete with a miniature container of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and a bag of chips; “Animal Rights Barbie”, with my very own paint gun, outfitted with a fake fur coat, bottle of spray on blood and handcuffs; or “Stop Smoking Barbie,” sporting a removable Nicotrol patch and equipped with several packs of gum.

9. No more McDonald’s endorsements. The grease is wrecking my vinyl.

10. Mattel stock options. It’s been 44 years–I think I deserve it.

Ok, Santa, that’s it. Considering my valuable contribution to society, I don’t think these requests are out of line. If you disagree, then you can find yourself a new bitch for next Christmas.

It’s that simple.

Yours truly,
Barbie

~Bettie Paige

I absolutely adore Pin Up’s and one of the hottest (IMO) and and well known pin up models has passed away.  *sigh*  She was renowned for her naughty, fetish type photographs.

******

So…. I told you about FREE SAMPLES of this product.  Why would you not take me up on this offer?!  Hello…..freeFREEfree….  Pay for shipping ($4.95!!!) and you get a sample for free. I’ve read your comments- “we don’t have any problems….we don’t need anything extra”.  Right.  Me neither.

Ok fine.  But, I am talking *enhancement*.  I know they advertise ‘arousal’ and you say you don’t have any problems in that area.  Let’s talk about making it BETTER. Why would you not want to try that out?!?!  Seriously, you are going to pass up trying *better sex* for free?!?!!

I know, right!? So click HERE and try it out.

Enjoy your Saturday!

~xo

~click~

HappyHNT!!!

~xo