The pool I go to is very popular and loads of fun with it’s awesome kiddie pool that has water fountains that spout up and a large mushroom with a waterfall that flows over it, varying in depth from 0-2′. And the very large ‘L’ shaped big pool, that has four different swim sections varying in depth, as well as a cool slide with it’s own splash down area AND two diving boards off to another section. It’s also the hottie central of the town, attended by a large population of MILF’s, MILF’s in training and a crew of life guards that are smokin’. I can go to any other pool in the area and find your normal, everyday general mill people. But this pool…it’s where it’s at. Everyone is tan. And usually beautiful. And there are at least four pregnant mommies that come on a regular basis that bop around after their other two or three children in their tiny bikini’s sporting a cute little baby bump. All four of them have these perfect little bodies, that from behind you would never guess in a million years they were pregnant, until they turn around. I love to people watch and this pool provides lots and lots of opportunities for it.
There is Barbie. She came to the pool as much as I did last summer but I hadn’t seen her yet this summer until last week. She is teeny tiny, so tan she makes me look white (and it’s an all over tan, you can tell, or um at least I can tell), blonde and has THE fakest fake boobs you have ever seen. I’ve wanted to ask her who her dr was to make sure I didn’t ever use him (doh). She has two little blonde daughters. And… she’s a total mega bitch. Has this “I’m so much better than you” aura. She never smiles or acknowledges any of the other moms that try to engage her. Her husband, well, he’s Ken. Honest to god, I bet if I watched them get in their car it would be a pink fucking convertible or something. *snort*
And she has a friend, let’s call her Skipper. Skipper has twin daughters who are approximately four. And another daughter who is possibly around two. And a brand new infant son. And yet, she has a body TDF and wears this itty bitty string bikini. That she looks *amazing* in. But the interesting part is her bikini bottoms are always.up.her.ass. And hey, that happens. It does. But you like, FIX THEM when you can, right?!?! Well. Not her. The first day I saw her and noticed it she was carrying her infant son while also holding onto her youngest daughter’s hand. Hell, that happens to everyone, bottoms work their way where they aren’t supposed to. But the entire.freaking.day she never bothered to fix them once. Huh. Ok then. Oh and her mom usually comes with her and her mom apparently used the same boob Dr as Barbie because her’s are beyond fake as well. (and don’t get me wrong, I’m all about boobs, I love boobs, but I prefer for them to at least leave you wondering if they are real or not, rather than blatant ‘fakeness‘)
Let’s not forget Mr. Tom Cruise Jr, the hottest lifeguard ever put on planet earth. The kid just turned eighteen (I know..um, because I asked him last summer when he would be legal… I mean shut up though, even I have to draw the line somewhere! *ahem*) and resembles the early non-freakaziod Tom Cruise. Think back to the days of Top Gun…remember that volleyball scene where he has his shirt off and is all sweaty and wearing those shades that had the reflective lenses and is covered in sand……… Oh wait, I’m getting side tracked. Sorry….where was I going with this? Oh yeah. Mini Tom Cruise. The kid is hot.hot.hot. It’s almost worth it just to go to that pool to see him! Ok ok…no, that’s crazy talk, I still really go for the MILFS. *smirk*
Probably one of the funniest things is the mushroom with the waterfall. I can’t tell you how many mom’s I’ve seen stand under it , throwing their heads back and letting the water pour over them. It’s hard to describe. But honest to god, envision something from a bad porn flick or some scene from a Bo Derek movie. It’s just too freakin’ funny to watch. And I always wonder if they realize this is what they look like doing it. And uh…of course, it may just be a me thing and that I’m a total perv. *ahem*
As my kiddos have become older and outgrown the ‘kiddie pool’…we have migrated to the deep end. We have our favorite ‘spot’ in the grass, nearest the diving boards (bc last summer LM realized what a super star he is on them). It also happens to be the prime spot for the older teeny boppers. Who love to dote on my kiddos and are quite social, talkative and um…entertaining. It’s a good life…
Days at the pool rock. *wink*
*****
TGIF my friends…enjoy your weekend!
~ xo
Vixen
