(click the button for more info, email me if you have any great ideas for a topic, I’d love to hear from you!)

Can you have a FWB relationship with an ex?

They previously dated, were in a serious relationship, broke up.  Have remained friends and now, sometime later have become FWB.  She is worried one of them (probably more so her) will develop feelings again and doesn’t want that to happen.  There was a good reason they broke up in the first place.  They did not do well as a ‘couple’ in a relationship but the sex is fabulous.

Is she playing with fire by continuing the ‘benefits’ aspect of their friendship?

BTDT.  For me, personally, it made me realize -again- WHY I didn’t want to be with that person anymore.  BUT.  Fabulous sex is well….fabulous.  Right?  And when it’s with someone you are already comfortable with.  That’s yet another bonus, that in my opinion, makes sex even better.  I do think you run into a small risk of re-developing feelings for that person.  But I think when you have any friend with benefits relationship, that can happen. 

Is it possible to be “friends with benefits” with someone you’ve had a
past relationship with and once had very strong feelings for? Can you
separate the emotions, or is this playing with fire?

*****

HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!

(tumblr)

~ xo

Vixen

~Ann Landers

(click the button for more info, email me if you have any great ideas for a topic, I’d love to hear from you!)

(vi.sualize.us)

Can you turn a friend with benefits relationship into a real relationship? Matt has had an FWB relationship with a girl for about 7 months and recently realized/decided he wants more.  He’s afraid to say something because he doesn’t want to lose the relations or the friendship. 

But how will he know if he doesn’t talk with her about it???

Does it ever work to flip an FWB into a real relationship?

*From a girl’s perspective….I don’t see why he can’t have an honest discussion with her about this.  ???  I don’t see why it would change things.  Either she’s on board too…or she’s not.  And if she’s not, she’ll tell him.  And then why can’t they carry on.  Either with the friendship only or with the FWB part too.  Maybe I’m being unrealistic.  But I know if it were me, I would have to say something.  Otherwise I would obsess and drive myself crazy (surprising, I know! *snort*).

*****

HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!

(tumblr)

~ xo

Vixen

Ok.  So completely out of boredom and then what led to curiosity, late one night awhile back (insomnia…oh so much fun…) I signed up for an AFF account as an experiment.  As I’ve mentioned before, PC is the one who peruses the sites and likes to ‘shop’ for me.  99.5% of what he sends me to check out I have little interest in (Ashton made the .5% and damn was that a good decision…it just shows how much his ad clicked with me *wink*).  PC used ALT.com for quite awhile and that really wasn’t my scene.  From Bossy Becky who wanted to dominate PC and took the approach of telling me how it should be done…um…. FAIL.  To the couple that I really was interested in, that seemed like such a  perfect fit…he was deployed in the military and wanted his wife to have a playmate while he was gone.  Except she didn’t drink and didn’t think anyone else should either.  Bwahahaha…yeah, that’s not gonna fly.  There were many others, PC managed that account and all the emails and he was good at it, but nothing ever really worked out there. 

I did try out Ashley Madison briefly but become bored with that very early on.  It felt complicated and so many hoops to jump through just to like TALK to anyone.  AND, they were mostly all married people hoping to have an illicit, discrete affair (yeah, yeah I know it’s what the site is all about, I mean after all their slogan is “Life is short.  Have an affair”).  Bleah….I’m not dying to enter into an affair where drama is likely to erupt.  Me and drama….not on the same team.

And we all know my luck on CL, again, PC is the one who enjoys browsing there the most.  It’s just easier that way, let him weed through and then I’ll reject the ads he sends me.  Ha!

Ok.  So back to AFF.  It’s been….eye opening to say the least.  I know there are women on there looking for a good fuck and nothing more.  And there is nothing wrong with that, it’s just not ME.  Or what I am looking for/interested in.  I’m not that girl that fucks every person she meets.  Nothing wrong with those girls.  Just I’M not one of them.

Anyway though. It got me thinking because somethings really bugged me and I figured I would give some pointers, for the men mostly-

*STOP with the dick picture as your profile shot. I don’t care what your DICK looks like.  What it does now….that’s a different story, lol.  But sending me an email with you holding your cock?  Lost me before Hello. (want to clarify, dick pics among *other* shots- fine….I mean, I’m a sucker for a guy with a hot bod)

*Sending an email to a girl and the first thing you say is what you would like to DO with your dick.  Again.  Really?!  That is your ‘pick up line’?!  Would you come up to a girl in a bar and tell them what you would like to do to them with your 10foot dick?  Idon’tfuckingthinkso.  You’d get a drink in your face if not wallopped up side the head.  When you send an email to a chick (at least THIS chick), for gods sake try to at least WOO me, will ya?!

*Have something to say.  Telling me “Hi, I liked your profile.”  Period. Nothing more. ….isn’t going to cut it!  I’m not a guy (no shit, right?  *lol*) -although I’ve heard there are much, more more men on on AFF then women- so I don’t know their side.  But females get hundreds of emails a day.  You have to have something that is going to draw a girl in!  (and NO that’s not your dick picture *snort*) One of the bitches I’ve had about the girls I’ve tried chatting with on CL…their lack of interest.  Or their response is some one liner and I’m thinking…wait a minute.  YOU had the ad. I emailed YOU and you respond with “Cool.  You’re pretty”.  Um…. huh?

*Lastly, my profile stated that I was mostly only attracted to men younger than me (if at all, it takes a lot for me to be interested in someone else, especially a guy).  Most certainly men who appear young looking.  So that said- Grandpa! STOP SENDING ME EMAILS.  Ya perv, I’m NOT INTERESTED.  I’m barely attracted to men my own age (PC, hon, you are totally discluded here…but you should know that considering people think you are 10 yrs younger than you are, *grins*), I’m most certainly NOT going to be attracted to someone my DAD’S age.  *shudder* (no offense to my more advanced readers…just being honest about *MY* interests/likes)

So.  All this said.  I only had my profile listed as ‘interested in men also’ (rather than just females) for all of a week before I changed it back to female for female.  The funny thing is, I still got numerous emails a day from men (they’ve died down since I’m completely inactive on there now).  But um...psst…did ya read my profile, m’k?  Right.  Add that to the list too.  Ok then.

*****

Hope everyone has a great Labor Day!

(found HERE)

~ xo

Vixen

A few years back I had a fling with a girl I referred to as ‘the nineteen year old hottie’ (so creative I know…and notice the ongoing pattern I seem to have with people younger than me…sigh).  It lasted about 5months before she went off to college out of state.  At the time I was also having a long distance…..  Thing?  Affair?  Relationship?  Hell, I don’t know what to call it.  And I’ll admit I had fallen in love with this other woman.  I was caught between the emotions of wishing I was with someone else I couldn’t have readily and another who was insistent on the here and now and knew how to say all the right things and I found I couldn’t say no to.  I’ve decided to post some of the recounts that were written- but never publicly posted, bc I couldn’t at the time.

***

(weheartit)

I ran into “her”. The hottie. The nineteen year old that had a body to like….die for. Tall. Legs that went to THERE. Last time I saw her she was wearing jeans that made her ass look like….amazing. And a waist that was tiny and exposed. It’s insane that she’s barely legal.  It’s insane that I’m like…thirty-something (How did that happen?!). But how does it NOT make you feel good to have a chick that looks like her, be interested in you?!  Insane. And she’s smart, as well as insanely flirtatious.  And oh. so. sexy.

I invited her over to watch a movie. She gushed over my little dog. She has a Daschound that has a similar personality to my little rat dog (a Miniature Pin). That’s how conversation even initiated….several weeks ago, when we met at a party.

After it became late, I asked if she needed to go home.  She laughed. And said no. No one was waiting for her at home. She was wearing an outfit similar to what she was wearing last time I saw her.  Which had been jeans and a tiny fit little white Playboy bunny shirt. Which is actually what brought up our comparison of tattoo’s in the first place. Because the one on her back was slightly exposed. As was the one on my bikini line. The jeans I love to wear, my favorite ones, show, just barely that tattoo. And we had discussed how I want to get a cover up of one of my tattoos, the Playboy bunny.

Then.  She kissed me. Like you kiss someone you long for, like a female kisses another female. Like I crave on a fucking regular basis. ….there is someone else.  Who is amazing but lives so far away. Too far. I have never met anyone remotely like her (this someone else). She isn’t even my typical type. Nor am I hers. She pursued me. When I had stepped out of my bi-sexuality. When I was stuck in “mommy mood”. She awoke my desire.  This other girl….

And as we were kissing, all I could think about was what it would be like to have her move down on me. That feeling. To feel her mouth on me, her tongue inside me…in such a way…  I wanted this.  And when a female does it…..it’s right. It’s perfect. It’s just different. She knows the exact right places for her tongue. Her lips. And where exactly to put her fingers. And stroke. The exact ‘right’ spot and way.  That IT spot…

(weheartit)

In what felt like desperation almost, I began pulling her jeans down. She had on pink, lacy panties.  They were Tangas.  I love how that word rolls off your tongue. So simple.  So sexy sounding.  She had just shaven and was so smooth, so bare.  I have no idea what lotion she used. I couldn’t identify it. But she smelled of….lingering sweetness.  I would never forget that smell. So…female.  The lotion she used, the deodorant, the perfume…. Women use scents to identify themselves.  And although I can’t name what she was wearing, if I were to smell it again, I could tell you it was her in a moment.

She stopped me.  She drew my face to hers. We kissed.  Passionately. It felt as if we wouldn’t ever get enough of each other. I don’t really know her. She really doesn’t know me. We were trying to figure out how to know each other.

(vi.sualize.us)

Our jeans came off, although we were both still in panties. Our legs intertwined…as we kissed. I kissed her neck and softly breathed in her ear. She turned me over…on my stomach. And kissed, these angel kisses, they were that soft…all the way down my spine. I can still *feel* it…..that soft…like a butterfly is softly flapping it’s new wings against your skin. It gave me chills. And that feeling in your stomach, where you feel this insane giddiness.   That just takes my breath away.

And then she was kissing my thighs. The tender spot where you feel your breath catching. THAT spot. And my mind is racing. Do I stop her??? I am incredibly attracted to her….. But I am so torn…..because of this other woman.  That yes, I am in love with.  That for months on end I have been dreaming she would do to me. What I have envisioned and wished her to do…..but sadly hadn’t seen her in months. 

I couldn’t decide. So I pushed her over on her back. And slid her tiny shirt up. She is tall. And has a long, long torso. Her stomach, while she is laying on her back, is flat and sexy and oh. my. god….fucking enticing. And I lay those same butterfly kisses along her belly. Again, breathing her in. WHAT is she wearing?!!? That smell is just….amazing. She is wearing a bra.  I ask her to take hers off. Which she does. Along with her shirt.  I take off mine as well. (as well as my shirt). There is no way I can describe to be naked, except for your panties, next to another woman. So soft, so delicate…..

(vi.sualize.us)

And I’d like to say that then she slid down and even if she had just breathed on me, it would have been just.like. heaven.  But she didn’t. Because it just didn’t seem right. Because I am in love with another woman. And it’s not this hottie nineteen year old. It’s this “other” person. And for over a year I have tried to figure out how to either
make that work…or work around it or fix it. And I can’t. It’s unfixable.

To be continued….
(as I mentioned, we ended up seeing each other for a five month period and becoming quite close)

******

TFT is UP!

The site is always looking for contributors. If you’ve thought about wanting to do it- there is no time like the present! If you have before but it’s been awhile- we miss you! All you have to do to help support our troops is EMAIL ME! Help boost some morale!

~xo

Vixen

1. What are your feelings about traditional bachelor/bachelorette parties?
I think there is nothing wrong with them.  They’re a way to go out with friends and have some fun before ‘tying the knot’.  But the ridiculousness of ‘the last hoo-rah’ and having sexual encounters/sewing your oats before vowing the spend the rest of your life with the person you supposedly love is well….ridiculous.

2. Do you wear (or not wear) something special to bed/dress differently when you want to have sex?
I try.  I know PC likes it when I change out of my comfy VS flannel pj bottoms into a nightgown/slip/chemise/nothing (lol) before coming to bed.  Not just to dress differently when I go to bed, but to just NOT get stuck in the rut of the ‘comfy VS flannel pj bottoms’.  It’s more difficult in the winter. I am perpetually cold.  A cold Vixen is an unhappy camper- for everyone involved (unfortunately).  But as I said….I DO try.  I *prefer* to sleep naked or in one of my flimsier slips.  Which is why I prefer summer.  ~wink~

3. Do you ever fake orgasms?
No.  We’ve discussed this before.  I’m at the point in my life that *why* would I?!  It makes no sense.  Part of being a woman in this day and age, in my sexual prime, is being confident in myself and my partner.  There is just no point in faking.  *shrug*

4. Do you own any leather or rubber clothing?
Umm….yes.  I think????  I own a dress that zips up the front and back that I wore for Halloween last year when I dressed as a Dominatrix.  Trying to figure out what it’s made of…..
Oh.  And I do have my leather chaps that I’ve done several HNT’s in.

5. On a scale from 1-10, how willing are you to do something in bed you don’t want to just because you are asked?
9.5  I think I’m pretty willing to try just about anything.  Depending on my mood and time of month that number may get closer or further from 10.

Bonus: Can men and women be “just friends?”
Sure they can.  Until they have sex.  *LOL*  At some point I truly think someone is going to become attracted to the other.  But that doesn’t change my opinion that men and women can be friends.  I’ve had close male friends.  PC’s had female friends.  All is well in Vixen-ville to date, so….

*****

TFT is up!

~*~**~Theme Alert~*~**~
For the next three weeks I will be collecting pictures for a special HOLIDAY/CHRISTMAS themed TFT. Use your imagination, get creative and festive! Then click and send. Many of our contributors rocked it on Halloween so I know they can do it for Christmas, especially bc I am giving more than a weeks notice this time. ;)

Of course, feel free to send me other boob/moob pics (holiday/Christmas themed or not!) in the meantime for the preceding weeks. We continue to have some great men and women each week. Some repeat contributors, others brand spankin’ new….every one of them super awesome. Don’t forget to tell me how you would like to be credited and/or linked. You can even remain anonymous if you would like.

******

HappyTMI!!!

(vi.sualize.us)

~ xo

Vixen

(click the button for more info, email me if you have any great ideas for a topic, I’d love tho hear from you!)

*Is there a difference between a Fuck Buddy, FWB, lover, mistress etc?

IMO, in short- yes.

I think Fuck Buddy and FWB are similar in that I view both as casual.  A FWB I think can be defined as- An individual with whom you have a non-romantic relationship, during the course of which you engage in sexual activites.  A Fuck Buddy is with someone with whom you are sexually involved, but with no strings attached.  As in NO relationship, NO friendship….nada emotionally or romantically but purely physical.  As Carrie in Sex and the City said: A fuck buddy is a guy you probably dated once or twice, but it didn’t really go anywhere, but the sex was so great, you sorta of keep him on call….  Anyways.  Both offer a little ‘somethin somethin’ on the side.

I can honestly say I have enjoyed several FWB relationships.  I rather enjoy them with females.  But never a Fuck Buddy.  I am incapable of having sex with out intimacy or attachment.  My flaw I suppose.

A Lover or Mistress is someone (I feel) you have formed a ‘relationship’ with, it’s more of an emotional connection, more involved than a casual ‘hook up’ for sex that you might have with a FWB. It’s *MORE* (lol).  And longer term.

*And does one of these labels make it ‘less/more of an affair’ than another?

An affair is an affair.  There is no ‘less or more’, IMHO.  What it comes down to *for me* is that if you are having any sort of sexual or heavily emotional relationship with someone other than your S/O with out their approval or knowledge, it’s cheating and it’s an affair.  Whether it’s casual or serious.

I think the word ‘affair’ is totally subjective too.  These days many marriages/relationships are very ‘open’, and each one has different ‘rules’ that they follow and are ok with.  It’s really defined in each individual relationship.  So rather than debate an affair, I want to ask YOUR personal opinions.  I want to ask you to try to be as open as you can and answer honestly about the first question with out the second question jading your response to the first one.  Okay?

***Again, I’m not wanting to debate whether you think affairs are wrong or right but your OPINIONS on these two topics***

Happy HUMP Day!!!

The Code: 831

~xo