(click the button for more info, email me if you have any great ideas for a topic, I’d love to hear from you!)

While at a game last week with his brother in law, Todd was introduced to a friend of his sisters (another guy).  They hit it off, he’s a hair stylist and gave his new friend his cell number.  Since meeting him last week he’s been receiving text messages, picture messages and the new friend has stopped in for a hair cut.

He thinks this guy is hitting on him.  And while he finds this new friend attractive….this guy- he’s since discovered- has a wife and baby.  The wife of this new friend is actually good friends with his sister.  He’s not sure if he should cut off contact with him, tell his sister what has been going on so she can warn her friend of what her husband has been up to….  He’s just completely confused.

Advice?

*****

HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!

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~ xo

Vixen

~Ann Landers

(click the button for more info, email me if you have any great ideas for a topic, I’d love to hear from you!)

(vi.sualize.us)

Can you turn a friend with benefits relationship into a real relationship? Matt has had an FWB relationship with a girl for about 7 months and recently realized/decided he wants more.  He’s afraid to say something because he doesn’t want to lose the relations or the friendship. 

But how will he know if he doesn’t talk with her about it???

Does it ever work to flip an FWB into a real relationship?

*From a girl’s perspective….I don’t see why he can’t have an honest discussion with her about this.  ???  I don’t see why it would change things.  Either she’s on board too…or she’s not.  And if she’s not, she’ll tell him.  And then why can’t they carry on.  Either with the friendship only or with the FWB part too.  Maybe I’m being unrealistic.  But I know if it were me, I would have to say something.  Otherwise I would obsess and drive myself crazy (surprising, I know! *snort*).

*****

HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!

(tumblr)

~ xo

Vixen

(click the button for more info, email me if you have any great ideas for a topic, I’d love to hear from you!)

***I get ideas for Controversial Question Wednesday many different ways.  This weeks is brought to you by an email I received from a friend of mine.  They gave me permission to post it verbatim….

(vi.sualize.us)

Let’s say you are talking to a friend about a person they are having an affair with. You are shocked and surprised that this person is having such a torrid affair and that it has been going on for such a long time. The friend is broken hearted over the affair ending, but you are there not to judge just lend moral support.

Now here is the clincher. As this person is telling you the long sad story without revealing the name you figure out who it is. What they don’t know is that person (the object of the affair) friended you on Facebook a couple of months ago. Now to be fair at the time they requested to be your friend you didn’t know about any relationship. All you knew was that your new friend was a friend of your friend, and that person had commented on a lot of comments you had made on friend’s page. You add the person because you think they might be interested in you right? Because your friend is married so they couldn’t be interested in them.

So after the person adds you, soon after comes the innuendo loaded emails (hot and heavy)… then sexting..then nasty (sexy hot) pictures. You know the traditional Facebook sequence! (haha)

The moment you realized who your friend is having an affair with all you can do is order more shots of tequila and keep your mouth shut. Should you tell your friend what a slut the love of their life is? Or do you keep your mouth shut?

*****

HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!

(tumblr)

~ xo

Vixen

Seriously.

Oh.
My.
Fucking.
GAWD.

If this isn’t the hottest thing ever!!!

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Damn…..

Happy Hump Day!

~ xo

Vixen

(click the button for more info, email me if you have any great ideas for a topic, I’d love to hear from you!)

(tumblr)

Kate and Ben have been married for three years.  Recently, inadvertently, Kate found out that Ben ‘experimented’ with other men in college.  Ben had not meant for Kate to find out.  But once she did, he gave her all the details and has told her he was young and experimenting- that that’s what people do in college.  He’s tried to reassure her that he knows what he wants now, isn’t ‘confused’ and knows he wants to be with Kate…  He hadn’t told her before for the exact reason that is happening now. 

She’s pissed and unsure that she even wants to stay married to him.  She mainly doesn’t think she can trust him since he kept this from her.  Something she views as pretty huge.  She also feels that you can’t be with other men and not still be gay.  She says she loves him but can’t ‘risk having kids with a guy that could leave her for another guy‘.

What are your thoughts?  Whose side are you on?

My first thought is…  Ben totally fucked up by not telling her.  IN THE BEGINNING.  Keeping skeletons in your closet is always bad news.  They are going to eventually fall out.  Like in this case.  And yeah….the fact that he kept it a secret all this time, it makes it feel like it was this “super, deep dark secret”.  Had he been upfront and honest with her when they were dating, she might feel differently.  No one wants to feel they know the person they married and then realize they really don’t, that the person they trusted and loved were keeping ‘secrets’  from them.  It does make a person wonder- what else are they hiding????

AND maybe if he had told her up front….he might have seen how close-minded she was.  And maybe HE wouldn’t have wanted to marry her.

I am annoyed at the fact that she doesn’t feel she can have children with him… “because he might leave her for another guy”. 

*rolling eyes*  

Did he tell her he was a virgin before they were married?  (I’m thinking not…)  I mean, shouldn’t she be worried he might leave her for another woman too?!  Ridiculous.  He married HER.  He fell in love with HER.  It doesn’t matter who he was involved with or had sex with previously….he chose *her*.  Hmm, insecure much?

So I see both sides.  But I have to say mostly, I’m on his side.  Because I don’t do well with such judgmental/close-mindedness that she is displaying here.

*****

HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!

(vi.sualize.us)

~ xo

Vixen

(click the button for more info, email me if you have any great ideas for a topic, I’d love to hear from you!)

Percent of men who say they masturbate: 60% (the other 39% lied).

Percent of men who say they masturbate at least once a day: 54%.

Men are six times more likely than women to peruse sexually explicit material on the Internet

Say……you know your boyfriend utilizes visual aides for his….’happy time’ (ahemmasturbatingahem), such as videos and the internet to ‘help him’.  But then you discovered a DVD in the DVD player, that featured your boyfriend and an ex-girlfriend. 

Oh.  Um….

Are you upset?  Does this bother you?  Would it bother you enough to approach them about it?
(consider this applicable to both female and male….)

*****

HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!

(tumblr)

~ xo

Vixen

(click the button for more info, email me if you have any great ideas for a topic, I’d love to hear from you!)

CQW removed to protect the innocent …*wink*…

*****

HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!

(tumblr)

~ xo

Vixen

(click the button for more info, email me if you have any great ideas for a topic, I’d love to hear from you!)

The state I live in has a statewide smoking ban, banning smoking in all enclosed workplaces, bars, restaurants and casinos.  One other county has passed an additional ban….including enclosed porches, balconies, patios.

Now a law is trying to be pushed through banning smoking in people’s cars (public transportation is already banned) while their children are present.  This is causing a fair amount of controversy.

The argument for is obviously to protect children from second hand smoke, concern for their health.

The argument against is as simple as- “What’s next…my house?!”

I do have issues with our need as a society to have the government intervene on everything.  All these laws…for things that should be common sense are ridiculous to me.  So I see both sides.  I mean, we have laws requiring children under a certain age and weight to be required to be in a car seat.  We have a seat belt law, which drivers can be fined for if in violation.  I guess if enough people are NOT using their common sense and putting their children in danger…. 

*****

HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!

(tumblr)

~ xo

Vixen

(click the button for more info, email me if you have any great ideas for a topic, I’d love to hear from you!)

I read an article recently about a woman who sued her ex-boyfriend for giving her an STD.  And she won.  It’s raised a ton of controversy in the legal system.  Some experts believe such cases send a message that people need to take responsibility for their sexual behavior.

“If you engage in conduct that you know can cause harm to others, and fail to take precautions or give them an opportunity to opt out, you an hardly complain when you are held accountable” ~Areva Martin (author of “The Everyday Advocate”)

But others disagree saying we live in a highly ‘sue happy’ society, that because STD’s are so common, it could clog up our court system.  Pointing out that a ‘better fix’ than suing would be better sex education.

Now.  What made her case ‘news worthy’ was the type of STD she had.  HPV is difficult to prove transmission by a specific sexual partner because there is no HPV test for men and they can be carriers with out ever experiencing symptoms.  As well as it can lie dormant for years in a female, causing no symptoms or problems.

For the purpose of this CQW, I’m not wanting to dwell on which STD.  Just the over-all question of would YOU sue over an STD?

I was actually super surprised, when I researched this article and the facts surrounding the case, to discover how many people when asked this question said- NO.  Saying various statements like- the ruling seemed “over the top”, it was “unfair”.  One person even said something to the effect of- sometimes bad things happen to good people and you have to roll with it rather than look for people to blame.

Right.  Hmm…..

The case has sat with me.  I’ve read both sides (as best you can, neither of them have ever given interviews,  it’s just what is court documented) as well as the ‘for’ and ‘against’ points of views.  I think in this day and age, with STD’s being as widespread and ‘common’ (ack- I hate to use that term) as they are.  If someone willfully gives another an STD- as in KNOWS they have it and never make their sexual partner(s) aware of it- then YES.  That person should be held accountable.  Not taking accountability for one’s actions is a rather big character flaw in my opinion. It’s something we teach our children, it’s something I expect from other adults.

Now the question that comes up in my mind though is *would I*.  That I’m not sure about.  I’m inclined to say I probably wouldn’t.  I’m not someone who likes to be involved in the court system.  I am the utter opposite of ‘sue happy’.  It just probably wouldn’t be in my nature to take such action.

Would YOU?

*****

HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!

(tumblr)

~ xo

Vixen

(click the button for more info, email me if you have any great ideas for a topic, I’d love to hear from you!)

USA Today (then featured by Glamour magazine) had an interesting question that was posed to 1,000 people.

Would you rather give up sex for three months or gain 10 pounds. 

About half the women said they would rather give up sex.  A fourth of men felt the same way.  Hmm…..

Maybe I’m not the best person to ask this.  As someone who has battled an eating disorder, obviously I’ve been weight obsessed in my life time.  I love love love sex (surprise- ha!) but am pretty sure I could give it up for three months.  Because we’re talking ‘sex’…..there are many other things that can be improvised in place of actual sex.  *wink wink*  Gaining weight is huge to me (being pregnant being the exception).  Me not feeling good about my weight and therefore my appearance….’me’ in general sends me into a tail spin rather quickly.  Sad, but I’m being honest here.  It’s the truth.  Being somewhat horribly sexually frustrated/deprived seems easier to deal with than a tail spin.  To me.

Just watch out when the three months are over….  *wicked grins*

How about you?  What would you rather give up?

*****

HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!

~ xo

Vixen