(click the button for more info, email me if you have any great ideas for a topic, I’d love to hear from you!)

She’s found the man of her dreams.   They are young and in love.  She’s pretty sure he’s going to propose in the near future.  Her dreams come true!

Except.

Although.

He was recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and the prognosis is very grim.  It’s hit them both extremely hard.  He has basically told her his dying wish is for them to be married.  She has mixed emotions about this.  She is worried about the stress planning a wedding will put on him.  But also, as selfish as it sounds, she doesn’t want to be made a widow as such a young age. 

Should she be honest with him and tell him this and either turn down his proposal or even discuss this with him before he asks her?  Or basically, take into account his dying wish and do what makes him happy?

I guess my feelings on this is that, why wouldn’t she marry him?  She loves him.  They are in love.  It’s perfectly awful that he’s been diagnosed with cancer.  They are only experiencing the cusp of heartache in store.  But is she going to leave him because he has cancer?  She has said no.  It’s not like there’s this horrible stigma attached to being a widower….  I don’t understand her reasoning.  No one wants to be a widow.  But it almost feels like she’s more upset about being called a widow at some point, then the circumstances around her becoming a widow.  It’s his dying wish and I just don’t understand her perspective as to why she wouldn’t want to do that for him.  Give him that.

A different perspective I guess (that someone else has brought up) is…rather than ask him to marry him, maybe he should ‘set her free’.  Give her an out.  Don’t make her sit by him, as he suffers.

Thoughts?

*****

Happy HUMP Day!!!

~ xo

Vixen

~City of Angels

It’s PC and mine anniversary, or rather the day he thinks to himself “What the hell was I thinking?!”.

It’s been a crazy go of it, but I’m quite sure we’d both do it all over again.
~grins~

~ xo

Vixen

(click the button for more info, email me if you have any great ideas for a topic, I’d love to hear from you!)

Let’s call her…Jane.  Jane is engaged to a man who was previously married.  His ex-wife and him didn’t have children together.  When they were divorced his ex-wife kept her (his) married name, let’s for giggles say it’s Jones.  Fast forward to the present.  Jane wants to take her soon to be husband’s last name.  But does NOT want to share the last name with the ex-wife.  She doesn’t want to be the ‘second Mrs. Jones’, she wants to be THE ONLY Mrs. Jones and feels very adamantly about this.  To the point the wedding has been put on hold.

Jane wants her fiancee to talk with the ex-wife and request she change her name back to her old last name.  To no longer have his last name.  The fiancee feels very uncomfortable doing this and doesn’t understand the ‘issue’. 

I’m not sure what motivates someone to keep their ex’s last name if you don’t have children together.  Unless of course you have become well known BY your last name, such as in your professional life and changing your name would impact your career/life.

Do you think the ex-husband can make this request?  Or even, not really a request, but insist she change her name back to her maiden name and not use his anymore? Is “Jane” being unreasonable???

*****

(vi.sualize.us)

~ xo

Vixen

Friday Favorites-
So three struck out at me as my very top favorites.  But there was one more that I’m not able to put up here.  It’s Os’s Mystery Guest this week.  You saw her right?!  And you clicked???  RIGHT?!  Well, off you go if you haven’t yet!   

*Remember to click on the links and hit these girls up*  Thumbnails are only meant to serve as teasers.

Emmy…Right Turn Without Signaling….. One word.  One simple word.  Cleavage.

Tepid…..the lighting is perfectly amazing, AND she took this with a cellphone.  Talent, I’m telling ya ~wink~


Elle…Kink Unleashed…..(oh holy hotness…..*swoon*….)

******

Somewhere along the way…she lost focus a bit. On what is important. So she tries to regain perspective on her life and things in it.  He will never say no to her.  He may not love everything she does, but he loves her…and knows she loves the things she does.  It makes her happy.  And he wants to make her happy.  To please her…..  So she asks, knowing he will say yes.  He begins to feel taken for granted. 

Things go unsaid.  Actions don’t go as far as they should.  She thinks they are.  But she really isn’t…..not effectively enough.  Feelings are discussed.  One feels they are being dismissed.  The other feels overwhelmed at the thought she has let things get to this point.  The point where the person she loves is unhappy, feeling insecure, left out, not enough.  Ten days apart leaves…holes.  In what they usually find comfort in, with one another.

So they go on a date.  A date night!  An unexpected night with out kids.  Plum wine, sushi…..the numb fog of nothingness she’s felt…been plagued with, slowly begins to lift.  And conversation flows.  She feels like smiling.  And laughing.  Flirting ensues.  And it feels, nice. 

….to feel in her heart that happy, familiar flutter that she loves so much.  That he gives her.

~ xo

Vixen

(vi.sualize.us)

I’m not going to lie.  The last few months have been exhilarating.  I’ve become addicted to the thrill and excitement.  I’ve met some awesome guys. Most recently someone new (a local someone no less…think of the possibilites!) who makes the “Tall Glass of Yummy” from my birthday outing last fall pale in comparison (seriously….*swoon*).  And even made some great friends along the way.

This…what we are doing, PC and I.  Has stirred up many emotions and issues….or rather ‘topics of conversation’.  When PC moved here to be with me, when I was broken and in my downward spiral, it wasn’t easy.  It was HARD.  To pick up the various pieces, sift through the drama and make our lives together work.  But not in a ‘we can’t be together’ sort of way.  More in a ‘we need to work through this’.  

(vi.sualize.us)

Relationships, marriages…they take……require, work.  And if both parties aren’t working at it, it falters and fails. So we continue to work at ‘us’ and our communication.  But also continue opening what PC earlier called Pandora’s Box.  That I have found quite addicting.  And I think PC has as well. 

But at the end of the day, when you put all of that aside, the one I come home to.  Who my heart belongs to is PC.  He’s my happily ever after.  I would give it all up in a heartbeat if I had to choose.

(vi.sualize.us)

~ xo

Vixen

(click the button for more info, email me if you have any great ideas for a topic, I’d love tho hear from you!)

The theory:  If you don’t have relations the night of your wedding, you will end up divorced!  …..Are YOU doomed for a divorce?

I honestly don’t think one thing has to do with another.  I’ve been married twice and yes, one ended in a divorce but I think the fact he was an abusive, cheating, psycho asshat had more to do with our demise than whether we had sex on our wedding night.  Just sayin….lol.  And no, there were no ‘relations’ the night of my wedding with PC either.  I guess I’m just too much of an alcoholic (ahem). PC knew coming into it though….  I think I pass out on him every ‘big’ event we ever attend. 

(tumblr)

Halloween?  Hot, slutty costumes?!  Drinking?!?!  Dirty dancing?!?!?!  Libido is through the roof.  Hit the room and well, I hit the bed.  Doh. 
Fail. (every. single. year)

New Years Eve?!  Drinking!  Provacative dress!  Fabulous shoes to dance in!  Fucking colder than hell…..make it to the hotel, pass out while trying to regain feeling in my chilled to the bone body.
Fail. (every. single. year)

My birthday this past year- BEST night out EVER.  Best friends.  Many (many) shots.  Dancing on the bar at Coyote Ugly.  Heavily flirting with my favorite Coyote (ah…Jackie…*swoon*….).  Roxy and I were making out, flashing everyone in the bar.  That was even the night I called Abercrombie dude “A Tall Glass of Yummy” (haha…*blush*…No shame….lol).  Later back at the hotel?  Yeah….not even Roxy got lucky (with me I mean, who knows what her and her hottie hubbie did).  *snort*
Fail.

I have a poor track record of putting out on fun, celebratory occasions.  BUT I do make up for it in other areas/other times.  Like fucking him every chance we had the entire time we were on our honey moon at Hedonism (in the pool…in the room…in the hot tub….in the…oh you get the idea…~grins~).  That should make up for not having sex on our wedding night….no?!

Ok so, almost more like a poll than a controversial question this week.  I’m interested in hearing from those who are married, those who are divorced and those who don’t fall in any category but have something to say about this!

******

Happy HUMP Day!!!

(tumblr)

~ xo

Vixen

(click the button for more info, email me if you have any great ideas for a topic, I’d love tho hear from you!)

Ok.  So your friend asks you to join her on a GIRLS wkend.  She makes fabulous plans for five of you- daytime activities, dinner reservations, a bit of clubbing.  Several of the friends say “Yay! A girls only weekend, my husband can’t wait to come!”.  Um…what?  They stated that ‘they just don’t spend time apart’ and showed up with their husbands in tow.  As the friend who planned the ‘girls only’ weekend, are you understanding or upset?

To clarify (doh), this has nothing to do with me.  It’s something that came up on a reality TV show I’m almost too embarrassed to tell you I watch (Real Housewives of Orange County).  I personally would be pissed.  Really?  REALLY you must be attached to your spouse’s side 24/7, you can’t get away to have some fun with your girls with out your husband holding your hand???  That screams insecurity and control issues to me.  I feel the same way about the parent that can’t leave their child. It’s healthy to have a life outside of BEING A WIFE, BEING A MOM.  If you are invited on a girls only getaway and can’t leave your spouse behind- stay home!  Don’t bring him along and spoil everyone else’s fun, most especially the host!  If you were invited on adult only vacation would you bring your kids along then too? Nevermind….probably these inconsiderate women would….  *shaking head*

PC doesn’t ‘restrict’ me in any way.  I don’t ever feel as if I need to ‘get away from him’.  I drag him on all my nights out.  I mean, the man has POCKETS!  A huge thing that came up while preparing for our Vegas trip is where do we put all our crap w/o PC along to hold it all for us?!  *LOL*  Seriously though, kidding aside, my 2 bestest friends and I are going on this girls only trip.  This will be the first ever for all 3 of us and we are *giddy* with excitement bc it’s a new and fun experience.  And while I will wholeheartedly miss PC, I don’t feel as if our marriage and relationship will be ‘damaged’ bc I went away with my girls.  Which is how the women on the show made it seem might happen, or that w/o their husbands standing ‘guard’ over them infidelity might ‘happen to them’ (like it’s something you catch and have no control over).  Good lord.  Give me a break.

*rolling my eyes*

So understanding or upset?

******

Happy HUMP Day!!!

(tumblr)

~ xo

Vixen

(click the button for more info, email me if you have any great ideas for a topic, I’d love tho hear from you!)

There is a married couple.  Dan and Allison.  Dan had an affair.  A long term/relationship type of an affair.  Allison found out.  Shit hit the fan.  They decided to stay together and work through their problems.  A year has gone by.  She *still* can’t get over it.  It’s all she can think about it.  It haunts her.  They have sought counseling, both as a couple and her individually.  They are both miserable bc it’s what their life has become about.  It revolves around her not being able to get over it, her insecurities and him trying to gain back her trust.

A friend of hers basically told her- either decide that she WANTS to get over it or leave.  That she is torturing herself and her husband by wallowing in self pity and that Dan is likely to just leave for his own sanity if this behavior continues. 

Ok.  I have to agree.  If you chose to remain in a relationship after an affair at some point you have to get over it. YES it must suck and must be horrible.  But punishing yourself and your spouse for over a year isn’t helping.  And if she CAN’T move past it, you must leave, it must be over.  When the decision to stay is made, that includes the decision to move on.  Work on your relationship and move on with them or with out them.

Am I being too harsh?  What are your thoughts on this?

******

Happy HUMP Day!!!

(Tumblr)

~ xo

Vixen

“All you can do is be ready for the good.  So when it comes you invite it in.  Bc you need it.  I need it.“
~Vampire Diaries

Most of the time I feel as if I have a handle on LIFE.  That I can rock the mom/wife gig fairly ok.  It’s what I *DO*!  I have my daily routine with the kids, the animals, PC, my life.  I LIVE for routines and schedules.  I do feel as I get older more settled in life I am able to be a bit more spontaneous and deal with changes a bit better than I used to.  If we have to deviate from our ‘normalcy’ once in awhile I take those changes in better stride than I might have used to.

But then, there are days like this week.  Where nothing goes as planned.  Where I haven’t gotten a good nights sleep in days.  Bc of anxiety ridden dreams that who knows where in the hell they are coming from.  A sick child up one night.  A different sick child up the next night.  One coughing so hard it makes *me* hurt.  The other unable to sleep bc of such a bad headache.  So one stays home for two days.  Meanwhile the other childs schedule of school and soccer doesn’t provide leniency for a sick sibling.  Then.  To only, truly test my sanity, my dog that I love just about as much as my children….  The one that was sick over the summer….  Is sick again.  Same symptoms, only 10x worse then before (who knew that was even possible). It was determined before to be bacterial hepatitis.  This will be bout #4.  I’m…a mess.

And the person I lean on, that I really need a hug from, has been away on business.  Figures, no?

“Running up that hill”

I guess nothing beer…  And sex… won’t fix.  Temporarily.  
*sigh*

~ xo

Vixen

(click the button for more info, email me if you have any great ideas for a topic, I’d love tho hear from you!)

There’s a couple, Jim and Angela.  Both have been previously married.  Jim has two children with his ex wife, a boy and a girl (8 and 12).  Jim had a vasectomy after his divorce.  Fast forward, Jim met Angela and they got married two years ago.  They discussed the idea of children before they were married.  Jim is happy with the children he has.  He doesn’t want to start over from the beginning.  Angela doesn’t have any children and was hoping after they were married that Jim would change his mind and have a reversal of the vasectomy. 

Jim is still saying no, reversals have a 50% success rate (according to his research).  His children are out of the diaper/high maintenance stage.  He has a girl and a boy.  He’s *content*.  She is not so much.  And is now disappointed that he won’t jump on board with her baby dreams.  In the back of her mind she had her hopes up that she would be able to convince him to change his mind.

Isn’t this kind of a typical woman thing to do?  The ‘no means maybe’ mindset. 

There have been several times in my life that I have wanted something badly enough that I would have done whatever it took to make happen.  And believed if I wanted it badly enough a- ‘no’ would change to a maybe or even better, a YES.  Having my son saved me from the deep depression I’d fallen into following two devastating late term miscarriages.  Us *not*  having another baby wasn’t an option in my mind.  But there have also been times I’ve come to realize what I was fighting for wasn’t what we both wanted and no matter how badly I wanted it, it wasn’t enough….  While still married to my ex, I had my head wrapped around a 3rd baby.  I wanted nothing more.  Obsessed.  My ex was wishy washy.  One moment he was on board, the next he wasn’t.  In the end it was for the best that I wasn’t able to convince him bc babies don’t fix marriages.  And ours was broken beyond repair. 

Anyway.  What do you think?  I can see her side, can understand her believing she would be able to eventually convince him to change his mind.  Can understand and see how and why she would want a child/children with the man she is in love with and married.  Then being very disappointed and hurt when she realized she wasn’t able to convince him.  And I can see his side.  He said no.  He was clear before they were married that he was done.  I guess, whether it be bc I’m a female as well (who is remarried and has toyed with the idea of a baby numerous times myself) or I just ‘get’ her…… I do feel for her.

What is your opinion, I’m interested in both guys and girls answers, to see if they differ much.

******

Happy HUMP Day!!!

(via realprincess)

~xo