I’m writing to let you know that I’ve been naughty…

~CLICK~

Ok so….yes. I know this week is the HNT traditionally themed “Three Wishes”. I’ve loved doing it in the past and I’ve always….ALWAYS…participated in the themes. This year… well…I think it’s apparent I’ve not been following “What Vixen ‘always’ does”. *SIGH* And seriously, the one blogger I would wish something for is BareFootDreamer. And it’s the exact same thing she wished for so….

Oh and, the upcoming review I mentioned last week was waylaid by a super fun (NOT!!!) visit from the Flu Fairy …::voice dripping with sarcasm::… I’m finally, FINALLY feeling normal-ish (heavy emphasis on the *ISH* part) and trying to get things pulled together in a flurry before Christmas.  Let me tell ya, having the flu before the holidays has NOT been productive in getting ANYTHING done.  Not to mention my kiddos disappointment that the wkend we had planned to spend baking was instead spent with me huddled miserably in bed. 

That said, the review should be up sometime next week.  More to come, check back here and Flickr! *wink*

~ xo

Vixen

~Eric Sevareid

To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity.  To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect.
~Oren Arnold

The theme of this week’s HNT is called “Three Wishes”, you are to choose 3 fellow HNTers to gift to.  It’s something I’ve been obsessing over thinking about for several weeks now…. (surprising, I know….haha)

CLICK on the presents

My first gift goes to JM (There is no spoon) and his lovely wife Jas.  I love both of their blogs as well as their photography (you’ve heard me gush about him several times before).  Very sensual, sexy people.  They have a blended family as well as a brand new baby boy.  I admire them both bunches.  It’s not easy maintaining a healthy sexual relationship and taking care of a newborn.  So…

And knowing them.  Maybe they can involve her in a little fun too….  *wink*

My second gift…  Well. I broke the rules (yes it’s like that- HA!) and I am giving to someone close to me.  Os’s main reason for not wanting you to gift to a friend is that more likely than not you could give them it directly.  Well.  This isn’t the case.  I actually considered giving a plane ticket. Here.  To see me.  But then decided that wasn’t exactly what I wanted to give because it wasn’t enough.
So to Barefoot Dreamer-

Next door.  To me.

My third goes to Maggie from Today Did Not Suck…  I seriously considered a gift certificate to Glamour Shots and some over the top cutesy outfit…because I know how much she loves that crap (SNORT…you have to read her regularly to know I’m totally kidding here…lolol). But really, she found THE most fabulous belt (I’m having belt envy, lol) but it ended up being too small.  So to her-

And finally a gift to everyone.  Because I’m all generous like that… *grins*

Because of the nature of this weeks HNT no Friday Favorites this week. But do check back….. ~grins~

Happy Holidays and HNT!!!

~ xo

The theme this week is called “Three Wishes”.  You are to gift to three HNTers.  This is something I began obsessing about quite awhile ago (I know, I know…you’re surprised, bc duh- it’s what I do, lol).  So here ya go. 

CLICK on the presents.

Minority Report- 
This poor girl has had so many health issues.  Or rather ‘an’ issue that is ongoing and they keep putting her through crap trying to ‘figure out’ how to make her better.   So….

and this should help as well….

Kenny- 
He’s had his heart broken and continues to be on the search for a soul mate.  He’s sexy, compassionate, heartfelt and honest.   Where is his Cinderella?!

So to him,

with…..

….she would be stunningly beautiful, sexy, kind and compassionate.

Dana-
There are two things she needs to help give her new life a little boost.

Stupid deer hitting innocent cars….so she needs this:

and hey, this can always help!

And since I’m a giver and wouldn’t want anyone to feel left out. A little something for everyone else.

Evening plans consist of a super romantic dinner date at a swanky restaurant we adore *SWOON*. Probably won’t make rounds until Thursday. Because of the nature of this weeks HNT *and* it being Xmas day on Friday, no Friday Favorites this week. But do check back….. ~grins~

Happy Holidays and HNT!!!

~ xo

Vixen

God. I think we survived Christmas.  It was an awesome one.  Low key and small at our house.  Spent the majority of the day at my sisters with even more family (hers/ours).  The kiddos all got along REALLY well.  We ate YUMMY food the entire day.  Drank Mimosas, Champagne and beer.  Had a blast playing Garage Band.  So much so that I want that game too now.  LOL!  Which is a lot coming from me (hehe).

I surprised the hell out of PC with the gifts I gave him.  He had NO clue what I getting him and I was tickled pink how caught off guard he was.  ~GRINS~

I got a fucking AWESOME Coach bag.  It’s so totally ME. *giggle*

The day wore me the fuck OUT though.  Good lord.  Got home close to 8, put kiddos to bed and passed out cold until this morning.  Craziness.  The last few days of staying up late to finish up Christmas prep and the hustle and bustle of the holidays had caught up with me I guess.

The kiddos went this morning to spend the next four days with their dad and grandparents.  Their dad didn’t come in for Thanksgiving this year (he lives out of state, I’m not really sure why he didn’t come…) so it’s been quite awhile since they saw him last.  They were *dying* to see him.  I’m glad they are going to spend some time with him.  It’ll be fun for them.

I have come to realize even more why PC is perfect for me.  On Christmas eve (day) as we were driving by our humane society he suggested we go in and see about making an animal’s Christmas wish come true.  Which took me off guard.  We have big hearts and lots of land and many, many animals.  But we love them all immensely.  They are my furbabies.  Not a one of them is treated as a ‘pet’, but instead as one of my children.  So we went inside and spent several hours looking at all the dogs and kitties and even the hamsters and bunnies.  But after spending time with a few of them we decided on a BIG gray and white 4yro cat named Riley.  He is full of spunk and will have no problem coming into a home with 6 dogs.  We are convinced that he will absolutely be able to hold his own. 

We weren’t able to bring him home on Weds, so we went back to pick him up today and make the final adoption arrangements.  While there PC surprised me again, by asking if we should adopt another one.  An almost 10 yro Main Coon we had looked at before choosing Riley on Christmas Eve. So.  We have blessed our home and filled our hearts with 2 new cats, Riley an Moe.  *shaking head*  :)

Oh.  And I completely forgot in the Christmas madness to mention that I ended up getting almost 6″ chopped off. I began with 2″ and went with 2 more a week later, equaling 4″ total!  Anyways.  I did it.  :)

******

Has anyone heard that Christmas commercial on the radio “Twelve Days of Chistamas” sung by Mother Nature  (click the link to listen to it if you haven’t) about periods?!  It’s horrible.  STOP SINGING ABOUT PERIODS and making it be about Christmas.  It’s gross and creeps me out.  Seriously!

******

Hope everyone had a fabulous Christmas and is working on recovering in time for New Years. ;)


Bend Me Over

~xo

Hoping everyone has a very Naughty er, um, Merry Christmas!!!


(…and what would Christmas be with out an extra surprise?! ~CLICK~)

~xo

No TMI for me this week. I’m feeling swamped. I caught up on the rest of my baking and house cleaning Monday only to discover at the end of the day that my oven/range wasn’t working. But it gets better…. Really what the problem is is that the hot water heater (which is tied into the range, god, don’t ask why, this house…I’m telling you….) is fucked. We have this hard, mineral laden water that wrecks havoc on everything.

So instead you get this.  And I promise that tomorrow’s post will rock.  HNT is early this week and is a theme.  And if anyone knows me *at. all* it will rock and be very original.

(Sung to Holly Jolly Christmas)

Have a hottie naughty Christmas!
It’s the breast time of the year!
Lotsa “elves”,
With lovely shelves,
And red-furred white-trimmed rears!

Have a hottie naughty Christmas!
Ev’ry Star Trek geek’ll cheer -
“Oh my Scotty, beam me up a naughty Christmas, this year!”

(***sultry sleigh-bell interlewd***)

Have a hottie naughty Christmas!
With a case or two of beer -
Get her blotty!
Have a hottie naughty
Christmas,
This year!

~grin~

******

TFT is up!  A bunch of great girls AND guys showed up to the themed week!  Don’t forget to check it out.

~xo

I’m hella busy and since I did this last year, I decided to scrap CQW and do this instead. No CQW next week either bc of Christmas.

***My Top 10 Naughty Holiday Gift Ideas***
(that I totally love!!!)

1. A custom-paddle from Fluffy Bunny Whips- Customize your paddle with a select piece of art on one side, and a couple of well-chosen words on the other. The words are engraved into the paddle in a mirror-image, so that when you or your partner uses it in an oh-so-loving way, the customized phrase reads (ahem) in the right way on the skin. Call 720-934-7319 to create your unique gift with the incredibly friendly proprietors (the site is under construction right now, but will be up soon.) Around $50.

2. The love swing- called “the ultimate intimate accessory”. Safe and secure, the swing can provide hours of weightless play. And for discretion’s sake, you can take this baby down and tuck it away when you aren’t using it. ($110 and up.)

3. A Couple’s Massage- Give the gift of relaxation and romance, a truly romantic way to de-stress together.   (Starts at $130, depending on where you go)

4. Removable dance pole- Install one in your bedroom and give your honey the performance of a lifetime! These are durable and professional grade poles that you can easily put up and take down from anywhere in your house. Not sure how to perform a pole dance? Take lessons or purchase a DVD and practice at home. This is a win-win gift–pole dancing is a confidence booster, a workout, and a sex-life enhancer all in one! (ask Evening! hehehe!) (kind of pricey, looks like they start at about $200)

5. An erotic photo shoot- For something incredibly sexy and memorable take your lover in for an erotic photo shoot.  Choose someone who will make you and your lover feel right at home in front of the camera whether you are fully dressed, decked out in lingerie, or posing in your own skin.  Creativity is the name of the game, there are no pre-defined photo-sets. Using his professional vision and your imagination you can create the erotic photograph(s) of your fantasies. (from approx $100 up depending on where you live and the photographer you find)

6. Ignite Me Massage Candles- come in many different scents…burn the candle, blow out the flame and drizzle soy wax on your partner for a sensual massage.  The Soy melts at a lower temp so you won’t get burned. **(MmmHmm…I’m all about trying these)

7. Gifts She’ll Love- sexy/shimmery make up/perfume, body cream, toys, ‘How To’ books **(there’s even an autobiography by Jenna Jameson!)

8. Gifts for Couples- vibrating panties, books on Muliti-Orgasms/Marathon lovemaking, Intimacy LoveKit, Rainy Day Kit, massage oil, bonding tape

9. Gifts To Impress Him- Striptease, Seduction ‘how to’ book, “The French Maid: And 21 More Naughty Sex Fantasies to Surprise and Arouse Your Man”

10. Custom Design Your Own LoveKit- select 3 products for your kit, items are packages in a “Tiffany” style box with personalized gift card

**Stocking Stuffers**- I LOVE THESE!!!
*travel sized massage oil, naughty bubbles, cinnamon/peppermint flavored pink lip gloss, compact vibrators, bonding tape, shimmer body dust
 
My favorites of the stocking stuffers, that I’ve personally owned and LOVE ~grin~

* Liptrick- “Is that a lipstick in your handbag or are you just happy to see me?”
* Touch Up- ….it’s more than polishing your nails…pampers, pleases and provides more coats of pleasure than any other beauty product (except maybe your liptrick)

And for even more ideas…..
THIS site has the *best* selection of slightly naughty/fun things.  I feel like so much of the stuff on other sites is really…..all vibes and lube and shit.  But this site has things you might actually purchase to USE and have some fun with.

***I’m all about ‘special’ gifts you think of *JUST* for your partner.  One blogger last year had an awesome idea. The Girl With Secrets made a book filled with a series of ‘photos’ (think HNT style, etc) for her husband.  I LOVE this idea!!!

AND of course….OMG gel!!!  Makes a great stocking stuffer!!!  This link gets you a free sample (you just pay the $4.95 s/h)
http://www.omggel.com/VixenChristmas
And this code ‘vixen’ gets you 5% off a purchase.  I talked Biscuit into using it and she *gushed* (oh, um…that sounds naughty, hehe, you know what I mean, stop! LOL)

Happy HUMP Day!!!

~xo

I put this up last year and liked it so much I wanted to post it again.  :)

Barbie
c/o Mattel, Inc.
El Segundo, CA 90245

Santa Claus
North Pole, North Pole
December 23, 1996

Dear Santa:

Listen you ugly little troll, I’ve been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas Present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya Santa, but IT’S DEFINITELY PAYBACK TIME! There had better be some changes around here this Christmas, or I’m gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and trust me, you won’t wanna be around to smell it). So, here’s my holiday wish list:

Santa:

1. A nice, comfy pair of sweat pants and a frumpy, oversized sweatshirt. I’m sick of looking like a hooker. How much smaller are these bathing suits gonna get? Do you have any idea what it feels like to have nylon and velcro crawling up your butt?

2. Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. Preferably white. What bonehead at Mattel decided to cheap out and MOLD imitation underwear to my skin?!? It looks like cellulite!

3. A REAL man…maybe GI Joe. Hell, I’d take Tickle-Me Elmo over that wimped-out excuse for a boytoy Ken. And what’s with that earring anyway? If I’m gonna have to suffer with him, at least make him (and me) anatomically correct.

4. Arms that actually bend so I can push the aforementioned Ken-wimp away once he is anatomically correct.

5. Breast reduction surgery. I don’t care whose arm you have to twist, get it done.

6. A jogbra. To wear until I get the surgery.

7. A new career. Pet doctor and school teacher just don’t cut it. How about a systems analyst? Or better yet, a public relations senior account exec!

8. A new, more hip persona. Maybe “PMS Barbie”, complete with a miniature container of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and a bag of chips; “Animal Rights Barbie”, with my very own paint gun, outfitted with a fake fur coat, bottle of spray on blood and handcuffs; or “Stop Smoking Barbie,” sporting a removable Nicotrol patch and equipped with several packs of gum.

9. No more McDonald’s endorsements. The grease is wrecking my vinyl.

10. Mattel stock options. It’s been 44 years–I think I deserve it.

Ok, Santa, that’s it. Considering my valuable contribution to society, I don’t think these requests are out of line. If you disagree, then you can find yourself a new bitch for next Christmas.

It’s that simple.

Yours truly,
Barbie