I took this Kink Test.  I snagged it from Blissfully Wed.  ;)

My score was 691

***601 to 700…..You are a major league kinkster!***

You can go HERE to take it yourself.  I would love to know how kinky you all are….either in my comments or on your site.  It was fun to take.  Hehe

(I’m highly curious for PC to take this. He thinks I need to ‘think outside the box more’….*shaking head*….while I think I do a pretty good job of it ~wink~)

~xo

(Sung to Holly Jolly Christmas)

Have a hottie naughty Christmas!
It’s the breast time of the year!
Lotsa “elves”,
With lovely shelves,
And red-furred white-trimmed rears!

Have a hottie naughty Christmas!
And when you walk down the street
Say hello,
To girls who show,
Their reindeer-rumps so sweet!

Oh, ho!
Your missile-toe!
Hung where she can see!
Some hottie waits for you -
Kisses, from her knees!

Have a hottie naughty Christmas!
Ev’ry Star Trek geek’ll cheer -
“Oh my Scotty, beam me up a naughty Christmas, this year!”

(***sultry sleigh-bell interlewd***)

Have a hottie naughty Christmas!
It’s the breast time of the year!
The egg-nog
From your yule-log
Will fill her cup with cheer!

Have a hottie naughty Christmas!
And when your girl trims your tree
Stand below,
Her ladder,
So,
Her balsam fir you’ll see!

Oh, ho!
Her Camel-Toe!
Wondrous woman’s Vee!
Her stocking waits for you -
Stuff it, once for me!

Have a hottie naughty Christmas!
With a case or two of beer -
Get her blotty!
Have a hottie naughty
Christmas,
This year!

~grin~

~xo

Barbie
c/o Mattel, Inc.
El Segundo, CA 90245

Santa Claus
North Pole, North Pole
December 23, 1996

Dear Santa:

Listen you ugly little troll, I’ve been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas Present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya Santa, but IT’S DEFINITELY PAYBACK TIME! There had better be some changes around here this Christmas, or I’m gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and trust me, you won’t wanna be around to smell it). So, here’s my holiday wish list:

Santa:

1. A nice, comfy pair of sweat pants and a frumpy, oversized sweatshirt. I’m sick of looking like a hooker. How much smaller are these bathing suits gonna get? Do you have any idea what it feels like to have nylon and velcro crawling up your butt?

2. Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. Preferably white. What bonehead at Mattel decided to cheap out and MOLD imitation underwear to my skin?!? It looks like cellulite!

3. A REAL man…maybe GI Joe. Hell, I’d take Tickle-Me Elmo over that wimped-out excuse for a boytoy Ken. And what’s with that earring anyway? If I’m gonna have to suffer with him, at least make him (and me) anatomically correct.

4. Arms that actually bend so I can push the aforementioned Ken-wimp away once he is anatomically correct.

5. Breast reduction surgery. I don’t care whose arm you have to twist, get it done.

6. A jogbra. To wear until I get the surgery.

7. A new career. Pet doctor and school teacher just don’t cut it. How about a systems analyst? Or better yet, a public relations senior account exec!

8. A new, more hip persona. Maybe “PMS Barbie”, complete with a miniature container of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and a bag of chips; “Animal Rights Barbie”, with my very own paint gun, outfitted with a fake fur coat, bottle of spray on blood and handcuffs; or “Stop Smoking Barbie,” sporting a removable Nicotrol patch and equipped with several packs of gum.

9. No more McDonald’s endorsements. The grease is wrecking my vinyl.

10. Mattel stock options. It’s been 44 years–I think I deserve it.

Ok, Santa, that’s it. Considering my valuable contribution to society, I don’t think these requests are out of line. If you disagree, then you can find yourself a new bitch for next Christmas.

It’s that simple.

Yours truly,
Barbie

(TMI to be posted when it comes up.  ~smile~)

*MUAH*

(new post below)

Ok. Let’s repeat the rules.
THIS is a dandy little disclaimer as well.  There is a permanent link in my sidebar, but I wanted to bring it to attention again.

As I said BEFORE, I abandoned my old site, that I loved, to separate myself from the bullshit that was going on. AND to avoid possibly hurting people from my past. A clean start. MOVING ON. Many (most) of these people have gone out of their way to stalk me down and find me again. Have even gone to great lengths (you KNOW who you are) to do so and THEN have the gall to want to give me their (rude, negative, nasty, close- minded, self-righteous, ignorant) opinions about me and my site.

…:::sigh:::…

Fucking A. I suppose I should be flattered that their life is so mundane and boring that they need to seek out drama and immerse themselves in MY life that they find so ‘distasteful’. Weird.


I’ll say it again. 
THIS IS ME UNCENSORED.  DEAL WITH IT.

*Btw, this is in no way directed at my GOOD stalkers, lol.

TMI seems to have gone missing again.  Ironically Tuesday came after Monday this week (again).  Haha…. I’m sure they will be up sometime today. (tapping foot Prof Fate….~grin~)

Oh.  And even though ‘someone’ *coughPCcough* said it was ok for the kids to watch a certain movie last night….  And insisted it was fine for them, when I questioned it bc I hadn’t seen that particular movie and it seemed scary/maybe not the best movie for children….  AND even when I threatened him with having to sleep in a small twin bed with LM if he woke up with nightmares FROM said movie, that same ‘someone’ *coughpccough* insisted it was fine.  *Pffbbtt*
…………
…………….
Well.  It wasn’t.  And guess who slept in the twin sized bed with LM?
(hint.  It was NOT PC.)

Just saying…..

[rolling eyes]

******

Well, until TMI pops up, here is a bit of something.
(btw, I didn’t come up with these, I stole them from someone else who stole them….I’m all nifty like that, lol)

Gifts to never give a woman:

1. Never give a woman any kind of household appliance or something that
is going to make “housework” easier. For instance, a blender, a
toaster, a new vacuum, one of those mops they advertise on tv that does
everything but suck the life out of you, anything in a informercial.
The only wise choice is a new washing machine with a turbo spin cycle.
(Makes laundry day go by pretty fast when you can at least sit on it
during spin-dry and end up smiling the rest of the day.)

2. Any bulk cleaning supplies, “honey, I got you that large box of Tide
you have been wanting.” “This Windex should last you a while.” “I got a
good deal on the industrial strength toilet bowl cleaner.” All I can
say is, be prepared to run. I have faith that if you would have at
least stopped and thought about what would be a much more intimate
gift, you would have had the sense to spring for the $5 Chia Pet you
were eyeing in Kmart.

3. Any sharp objects made by Ronco which slices or dices, or a set of
ginsu knives. These may one day be used as a weapon against you when
you come home with lipstick on your collar after a “night out with the
boys.”

4. Do not buy gifts for yourself and pretend they are for her. “Honey,
I’m sure you’ll get a lot of use out of the new drill I bought you.” By
then she will have put it to good use by drilling a quarter inch hole
into the side of your skull for even thinking she would accept such a
lame gift. After a gift like this, you probably won’t be around for
NEXT Christmas.

5. Any lingerie made of flannel, such as a pair of feet pajamas with a
trap door in back. A Little Mermaid or Barney cartoon character
nightgown. It gives her the idea that you do not consider her the sexy
woman that she is. Take out that wallet and buy her something sexy from
Victoria Secret (just like you did for your mistress or other
girlfriend).

6. No name perfume which costs you $1.99, such as Eu de Toilet, which
actually smells like the bathroom, moldy fruit, or your dirty socks. If
you are going to buy her perfume, spring for the brand names.

7. Any type of cubic zirconia jewelry you see on the Home Shopping
Network. It will be quite embarrassing when she is showing off that
fabulous diamond to her friends and tries to cut glass with it. (We
actually test them you know.) Also, now would not be a good time to buy
her that set of diamond nipple clamps you always wanted to, you know
how we like to show off our jewelry and it could get embarrassing at
the New Year’s party when she decides to show them off to your buddies.

8. Please do not buy her clothes because you think for one minute you
have good taste in woman’s clothing. Or know her correct size.  Well, perhaps you might if you are
a transvestite, but all in all, believe me, she’ll smile and say its
beautiful while choking back tears and mumbling under her breath, “where
the hell would I ever wear this outfit without being arrested for bad
taste?” An additional hint, plaids do not go with stripes (even though
you think your golfing outfit looks just fine). Its a known fact to the
rest of the world that that is a taboo. In the Northeast, thats like
wearing white after Labor Day.
(I have to interject and say that PC is the exception to this rule.  He DOES know how to shop for me and has been known to point out/buy some super cute/sexy things…)

9. Do not give her a gift certificate to Jenny Craig or Weight
Watchers. Most men would know better, especially the ones who have
learned the correct response to “do these pants make me look fat.” If
you are one of the poor souls who still doesn’t get it and purchased a
gift like this, be prepared for the silent treatment for a month.
(Although that may be something you would actually look forward to.) A
better alternative would be hiring a Chippendale dancer as a personal
trainer to get her motivated into getting fit.

10. Last but not least, never buy a woman anti-wrinkle cream, or a book
on “How not to be Nasty Sunday through Saturday.” These are not
considered gifts, they are considered reasons for seriously injuring
the person who bought it and just may stand up in court of law.

Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets.
So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don’t,
and believe that everything happens for a reason.
If you get a chance, take it.
If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said that it would be easy,
they just promised that it would be worth it.

Pictures from our trip to RMNP last weekend…..

Life is Beautiful- Vega 4

Life is beautiful
We love until we die

When you run into my arms, We steal a perfect moment.  Let the monsters see you smile, Let them see you smiling.
Do I hold you too tightly?  When will the hurt kick in?

Life is beautiful, but it’s complicated. We barely make it.  We don’t need to understand, There are miracles, miracles.

Yeah, life is beautiful. Our hearts, they beat and break.

When you run away from harm, Will you run back into my arms, Like you did when you were young?  Will you come back to me?

I will hold you tightly when the hurting kicks in.

Life is beautiful, but it’s complicated, we barely make it.  We don’t need to understand, There are miracles, miracles.

Stand where you are.  We let all these moments pass us by.

It’s amazing where I’m standing, There’s a lot that we can give.  This is ours just for a moment.

There’s a lot that we can give.

…:::sigh:::…

Today the Little Princess is eight.  Holy cow…eight years old.  It’s amazing.  (Because like, um, how can I be old enough to have a child that old?!  lol)

She is bright and caring, has to be one of the most empathetic person I have ever met.  …She is a mother hen.  And incredibly helpful.  She’s also sensitive and creative.  I wished upon hundreds of falling stars for her.  I could not have wished for anything more than who she is.

As I Lay Me Down To Sleep~ Sophie B. Hawkins

It felt like springtime on this February morning
In the courtyard birds were singing your praise
I’m still recalling things you said to make me feel alright
I carried them with me today, Now

As I lay me down to sleep
This I pray
That you will hold me dear
Though I’m far away
I’ll whisper your name into the sky
And I will wake up happy

I wonder why I feel so high
Though I am not above the sorrow
Heavy hearted
Till you call my name
And it sounds like church bells
Or the whistle of a train
On a summer evening
I’ll run to meet you
Barefoot barely breathing

It’s not too near for me
Like a flower I need the rain
Though it’s not clear to me
Every season has its change
And I will see you
When the sun comes out again

(LP and Penelope. Bless her little feathery heart)


Happy Birthday to my Little Princess ~xoxxo

Oh lord….  I have been so.fucking.emotional the past few days.  Hi…. [coyly waving hand] …I’m a girl.  Don’t worry.  It’s only temporary.  The emotional part sillies, NOT the girl part!  Doh!

1. The Female always makes THE RULES.

2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice.

3. No Male can possibly know all THE RULES.

4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must immediately change some of THE RULES.

5. The Female is never wrong.

6. If it appears the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant
misunderstanding caused by something the Male did or said wrong.

7. If Rule #6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.

8. The Female can change her mind at any time.

9. The Male must never change his mind without the express written consent of The Female.

10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset.

12. The Female must, under no circumstances, let the Male know whether she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. The Male is expected to read the mind of the Female at all times.

14. At all times, what is important is what the Female meant, not what she said.

15. If the Male doesn’t abide by THE RULES, it is because he can’t take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.

16. If the Female has PMS, all THE RULES are null and void and the Male must cater to her every whim.

17. If the Male, at any time, believes he is right, he must refer to Rule #5.

******

*snort*  Carry on with your weekend.  Hopefully the more ‘normal’ me (read: RATIONAL, cry-less-at the drop-of-a-hat-mess of a ‘me’) will be back shortly. Pray for me.  (lol)  Or at least PC.  (((PC)))