(vi.sualize.us)

I had a deep dark secret from my childhood slam me in the face on Sunday.  Hard.

At first I was taken off guard.  Shocked.  Surprised.  But then as the day wore on, into the night and then the next day….and the memories and emotions and feelings starting bubbling up and over.  Things I haven’t thought about or talked about in over twenty years.  And I felt myself suffocating from anxiety, of being overwhelmed…

(vi.sualize.us)

And I shared some of this information with someone close to me.  But then walked away feeling overly exposed and very, very raw.  Worrying.  Regretting.  Obsessing.

My sister pointed something out to me.  That was rather eye opening.  I am a very open person.  But I am very open about things that I am comfortable with.  Which is many/most things but that I have several boxes that I keep tightly closed, off limits, that I don’t share very openly about.  She said I was being unfair to myself.  And that maybe that is where ‘these feelings’ were coming from…

Have I mentioned how much I *heart* my sister? 

(vi.sualize.us)

PC came home mid day, to be with me.  He brought lunch from a new sandwich shop I’d been wanting to try…knowing if he didn’t, I probably wouldn’t have eaten.  He didn’t have to come home.  But he did because he was worried and wanted to be with me.  I was able to shut the buzz of my thoughts down long enough to rest.  Something I struggle with…

Have I mentioned how much I *heart* my husband?

(vi.sualize.us)

*****

TFT is up.

Would love to have you contribute  ANYONE can…just snap and send. Send.

******

~ xo

Vixen

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.…

Just be sure to add the Vodka too.  ~wink~

*****

So.  What weekend, where? 

*blink blink* 

Weekend started out a bit um, rough.  “Stuff”.  As well as had beyond imaginable bad service at a restaurant Friday night.  Will not be going back there again.  For food.  It will be tempting to go back for their great drink prices though….

Kiddos were kidnapped by their aunt for part of the weekend.  Which freed up an evening to do adult activities.  Girls night out!  PC included, as he is an honorary girl after all.  He was on his bestest behavior (brownie points for him!).  I however, was not.  *evil grins* 

We went to our new favorite place that has a super fun rooftop patio.  The night is somewhat of a blur as the shots and beers continued through the night.  So much for telling PC I would be sticking to beer only, and definitely not more than one shot.  (says the girl who drank three plus shots….one of which contained a concoction of Crown, Peach Schnapps and Red Bull- all three of which are on my ‘no-way-no-thank-you-no-no-no’ list….)

I do remember my (SMOKING HOT) friend being hit on by some guy and me climbing into her lap seductively and informing him she was with me, followed by a fitful of giggles from her and I.  Once he realized we weren’t going to allow him to play with us, he left.  *snort*

Another interesting tidbit was an older gentleman who kept hitting on the three of us, while at the same time trying to hook one of us up with his sons.  Um…hmmm…..alrighty then, but no thanks.

So um PC….whatcha got going on down there?  Bwahahaha….. 

Super fun night.  Super late night….  Had to pick up the kiddos at what had seemed a reasonable time when I originally agreed, although came waaaaaaaaaaaay too early the next morning.  (doh)  Thank God for Starbucks!

*****

My sister and I have fabulous costumes planned for Halloween, doing the same theme as each other.  We’ve begun searching out the items we’ll need.  The most important and intricate part of the costume is being researched.  PC has already ordered his (custom ordered/made so no Cindy Brady this year, haha!).  It’s going to rock.  Can. not. wait!  *giddy*

I’m rather brain dead in a tequila fog sort of a way so that is about all I have.  Date night with Ashton (aka Yummy) so this will be posting early. 

Happy Monday!

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~ xo

Vixen

Whirlwind of a weekend.  Some plans fell through.  Others popped up.  My sleeping habits are all mucked up (ie…. asleep at 9, up from midnight-4am, asleep 4ish-9am…hey I guess if you add it up, that’s 9 hours of sleep- impressive for me! Haha…).  I thank my allergies.  But overall a fabulous one.

Some random notes-

*** The other morning, in the midst of LP having yet another melt down (the 5th?  10?  ….idk I lost count) it struck me how fucking high strung she is.  She gets/feels stressed and her anxiety goes up and next thing you know she’s flustered and short and her voice goes up…..  Good lord girl, take a chill pill already! And it hit me.  HARD. 
OMG….she’s totally me.  PC refers to it as me being in “Daisy Mode”.  We have a very neurotic Mini Australian Shepherd, Daisy.  The poor thing HATES to get in trouble, HATES for voices to be raised, gets stressed out VERY easily- if everything is not feeling completely fabulous and peachy to her she becomes a mess.  I’ve referred to it before, but if you ever saw the movie The Golden Compass, they focus on everyone having a ‘daemon‘.  PC says Daisy is my daemon.  When I mentioned to PC how high strung LP is and that I thought she might have gotten it from me.  He stares at me incredulously and says…. “might?!”.

Oh.  Right.  Man….

*** We were out Friday night at our favorite brewery (good beer and endless vegetarian options= *SWOON*).  Sitting on a very crowded patio.  And I receive a text from Roxy.  A very um, NSFP (Not Safe For Public) picture.  Which…totally not shocking. *snort*  I didn’t open it with the most ‘care’ (I know, I know…my bad).  Doh.  I receive several more (Roxy!  LOLOLOL) and realize the five-top behind us has become increasingly more ‘interested’ in PC and mine conversation.  And the way in which I am sitting, anything I view on my BB is also viewable to some of them.  It’s a moment where you wonder if you should just invite them to sit with you because clearly they are more interested in what you have going on.  *shaking head*

I bring this up bc this is the third time in the last couple weeks I’ve been out and had the occupants of a table nearby so blatantly be eavesdropping.  I love to people watch as much as the next person but fucking A, at least I’m stealth (ok…’ish’…) about it.  Ashton (aka Yummy) and I were out last week and I admit, carrying on an increasingly more risque conversation.  I swear the woman at the table next to us was about to fall out of her chair she was so intrigued/interested in what we were talking about.  I felt like pulling a chair up and inviting her in. I mean, seriously…  Apparently conversation of raves, threesomes, and lesbians were far more interesting than whatever the three men she was with were talking about.  *snort*

*** Back to my Friday night.  We had a fabulous time.  Intermixed with boob and penis shots.  Never a dull moment in Vixen-land!  Did ponder something else while we were out this weekend….  What makes someone who is very clearly NOT a people person, take a job in a position that clearly requires you to BE a people person.  Such as waiting tables.  Things that make you go, hmm….

*** It was 94 Saturday.  And 99 degrees on Sunday.  Scorching hot.  Luckily I was able to get the kiddos to the pool one of those days.  I hear there is a huge change in weather coming soon.  Noooo……

*** I have an insane crush on Hit Girl.  Yes. It’s wrong.  Very wrong.  She’s um….ok. I’m not even going to tell you her age.  But damn….  *fans self*  Let’s just pretend she’s like, um, twenty-one!  Yes, yes, that’s a fine and legal age.  Mmmhmm.  (um yeah….)

*** Jennifer Anniston and Justin Bateman had mad chemistry in The Switch.  Sweet, funny, heart wrenching…..very good movie.  AND there are a ton of awesome chick flicks movies coming out in the next few months!  Yay for PC…  *snort*  (I’ve seen enough action/shot them up/alien/macho movies that panty boy of mine can suck up five a chick flick every so often ~wink~)

So there you go.  It’s Monday.  Enjoy it.  I hear that with enough coffee I could rule the world.  I will be testing this theory….

(vi.sualize.us)

~ xo

Vixen

PC- Are you drunk?

Vixen- No. 

PC- Can I make you a drink?

Vixen- Are you trying to get me drunk?

PC- No.  I’m trying to get fucked.

Ha!  Well ok then.

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~ xo

Vixen

Have you ever been on such a perfectly perfect date? A date where he wines and dines you…. At the most romantic, bestest place ever. Your favorite place.  Where he has even arranged for a dozen red roses….which you adore.  You feel adored.  A bottle of your favorite wine later….  Kissing.  Great conversation.  He can’t keep his eyes off of you.   Or his hands.  Especially once you reach the car.  And then you know, how sometimes… you just can’t wait until you get home?

~CLICK!~

Yeah. It was like that.

HappyHNT!!!

~ xo

Vixen

~City of Angels

It’s PC and mine anniversary, or rather the day he thinks to himself “What the hell was I thinking?!”.

It’s been a crazy go of it, but I’m quite sure we’d both do it all over again.
~grins~

~ xo

Vixen

From this wkend-

* Just because they are called boy shorts, doesn’t make them actual shorts. I don’t care how rockin your body is.  You can’t pair them with a tee shirt, throw on some flip flops and go to Target like that.  Just sayin…

* Two girls and a guy check into a hotel (one girl is not staying).  The nice desk clerk asks the one girl if she would like 2 queen beds or a king.  To which the one girl enthusiastically replies “Oh definitely the king”.  The desk clerk looks from one girl to the other, pauses and then asks if the girls would like 2 or 3 room keys.  The one girl looks quizzically at her, slightly confused.  Check in is finished and the 2 girls and one guy walk towards the elevator towards their room with one king size bed.  Where it’s brought to their attention by the other girl (me) how this is looking to the desk clerk.  Bwahahaha…..  Quite a giggle was gotten out of that.  *snort*

* My concoction of Stout beer and Vanilla Vodka is apparently much, much more potent after I’ve been drinking light beer before hand, rather than starting the night out with the Stout.  Um yeah….must. remember. this. in. the. future.  I am very rarely hung over but Sunday was a bit um, rough let’s say. (blech)

* PC taxied my ass.  Enabling me to have a much needed, super fun girls night out, you know to catch up on girly gossip.  The things he does for me….  *happy sigh*

* Transformers 3 is coming out next summer.  Megan Fox decided some time ago that she wouldn’t be participating in the next one.  *HUGE DISAPPOINTING SIGH* Sure Transformers is cool and all but honestly, I have enjoyed the last two bc A- the mom is fucking hysterical and B- Megan Fox is hotter than hell.  Ok, I mean like fine….so they bring in a new girl.  But what pisses me off is they are going to ‘pretend’ she’s Mikaela. Like we aren’t going to notice or compare her to Megan the entire fucking time?!  At least make her be like a NEW love interest! Annoying.

******

It’s that time of the week again….Monday.  Back to the grind. Oh wait.  It’s summer break….the grind is everyday, lol.  I guess it’s back to the pool then.  ~wink~

~ xo

Vixen

Friday Favorites-

Click the pics and hit the girls up!

Kink Unleashed…Elle….. (remember that HNT idea I showed you for her last week?  Well, she complied….  *grins*)

The birthday girl herself….Barefoot Dreamer… (and NO, it had NOTHING to do with the fact it’s her birthday, but more to the fact that this picture is so hot I made it my screen saver- kidding not really)

*****

Things are starting to come together for me…  In my head I mean.  Reaching a calm.

I’m a free spirit.

I hate to be told what I can and can not do.  I like to do what I want to do when I want to do it.  I can be rebellious because of this.

I suck at change.  I don’t make decisions.  I shy away from making them.  I can fly by the seat of my pants when it suits me.  When it doesn’t feel ‘threatening’.  But I want to be able to say- no way.

I realize I can be difficult to love.

I’m truly grateful for my friends.  For putting up with me.  They are amazing.  Even when I close them out.

And my husband.  For what he puts up with and how hard he’s trying.

Life.  It’s amazing.  No matter how difficult the curve balls that are thrown at you.  You know?

~ xo

Vixen

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. “Pooh!” he whispered. “Yes, Piglet?”
“Nothing,” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s paw. “I just wanted to be sure of you.”
~A.A. Milne

(vi.sualize.us)

Do you ever have so much to say.  Yet…nothing at all.

Or feel so much you…stop. Momentarily.

PC sometimes, on his bad days, talks about having so much noise in his head that he can’t think.  That he needs to quiet the noise.

I have the opposite.  So many emotions, thoughts, ‘stuff’ that instead of noise it’s just….blank.  There is nothing.  I can’t think.  Rather than my mind racing it’s just…still.  And silent.

Tuesday night I went for a long run.  Clearing my head.  Feeling the humidity and wind on my skin as the weather was clearing changing as a storm was coming in.  After wards I sat on the shore of the lake, letting the dogs play in the water to cool off.  Listening to the waves. 

(vi.sualize.us)

There is something so calming about the sound of waves.  The noise can be deafening as it hits the shore and the rocks.  But at the same time so…tranquil.  Everything else put on mute.

Right now I’m needing to focus on some things.  Regain my thoughts.  So I can think again.

(vi.sualize.us)

~ xo

Vixen

Friday Favorites-

So….Wp and I aren’t getting along tonight.  Pissy little bitch!  I rarely have issues with Wp (I mean hell, I’m like her biggest fan, what’s up with *that*?!) but tonight of all nights I do.  Unable to upload pics.  So instead you get links by their lonesome. 

(btw, this might also effect when TFT gets posted, my intention was to post on Sunday but with this little set back….you have been forewarned)

Minority Report

Kink Unleashed

Southern Girl

Obviously this week especially- click the links, hit the girls up.  Leave a comment and gush if you haven’t already.  They are so totally worth it!!!

*****

PC spent the entire week traveling.  It seems there are some major, life changing decisions to be made in our future….  *sigh*  His son went home Monday.  It’s amazing how quickly the time went by.  The kiddos loved being together again.  They really enjoyed each other and it was sad to see him go home so soon.

Had a bizarre/uncomfortable/intimate/TMI experience with the check out girl at Walgreens Thursday afternoon.  Will spare you the details but um…yeah.  While I appreciate overtly flirtatious (HELLO!)….maybe not so much in ‘this’ situation.  Right.

The other day LP and I had just left the house, rounding the lake in my Jeep and passed PC on his way up back home.  I blew him a kiss as he drove by.  LP ironically asked when I thought PC would be home.  Um….did you not just see us pass him and me blow him a kiss?  Yes.  She saw me blow the kiss.  No.  She did not see him per se.  Really!?  You just think I blow kisses to random strangers that drive by?!  Wait.  Never mind.  Don’t answer that.  (doh)

PC, the little Princess Dog (aka Phoebe) and I are flying out early Friday morning for Roxy-ville (aka California).  I haven’t mentioned it but I have a secret in my possession.  Something I have longed for, yearned for….begged for.  For YEARS it feels like (ok, it really has been years, lol). THE OS SHIRT is mine, all miiiiine!!!  Bwahahaha!!!  Ok, ok, fine, you know for the next week or so. *snort* The Os shirt will be coming to Cali with me.  Roxy and I have been plotting for over a week now.  Oh the naughty things I am going to subject to it.  We’re going to corrupt it for sure.  ~wicked grins~ 
(fuck, and you know, it just occurred to me that I should have TOTALLY taken pics of Ashton- aka Yummy…keep up with me people, I know it seems confusing- in it/with it the other night when I had him over for a sleep over.  Damnit!  Apparently my brain turns to mush around the adorableness of that boy…..)

Definitely look for a special post Sunday.  I’ll be back Monday.  Have a fabulous holiday weekend!

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~ xo

Vixen