Friday Favorites-

Thumbnails are teasers!  If you haven’t done so already, hit the girls up and show them some love!

BFD…..Um…her?  ….yes please.

Emmy…..boobs in a super hot outfit?  Sexy, long hair?  Yes please.

Autumn…..sexy outfit?  Killer shoes?  Yes. Please.

*****

Kiddos have been on spring break this past week.  Gotta admit, it began rough.  Boredom.  Arguing.  The bad weather didn’t help AT.ALL….  There were things I had hoped and planned to do this week that had to be benched because of high winds, snow, rain or just not that great of temps.  But we snuck in a movie, broke up days with exciting stuff like grocery shopping *gasp!!!* (haha), LP went to a good friends for a few days, LM and I spent some fun quality time together, he had a playdate, etc.  And *blink* it was Friday!  Yay….we survived!

*****

I was bored the other night and took this quiz on Ok Cupid-

Playful, kind, and well-loved, you are The Peach.

For such a warm-hearted, generous person, you’re surprisingly experienced in both love and sex. We credit your spontaneous side; you tend to live in the moment, and you don’t get bogged down by inhibitions like most women your age. If you see something wonderful, you confidently embrace it.

You are a fun flirt and an instant sweetheart, but our guess is you’re becoming more selective about long-term love. It’s getting tougher for you to become permanently attached; and a guy who’s in a different place emotionally might misunderstand your early enthusiasm. You can wreck someone simply by enjoying him.

Your ideal mate is adventurous and giving, like you. But not overly intense.

(ha…um….yeah…ok then…..)

*****

TGIF….enjoy your weekend!!!

Mmm… want…….

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~ xo

Vixen

(click the button for more info, email me if you have any great ideas for a topic, I’d love to hear from you!)

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So a friend of mine is having ‘drama’ in her life.  Her boyfriend works with a girl that is ga-ga for him.  The girl has admitted to him she wants him and flirts like crazy with him.  It really bothers my friend and her boyfriend knows this.

Well, at a drunken work type function her boyfriend and the girl he works with ended up making out.  He told her about it that night when he came home feeling incredibly guilty.  He feels awful and promises that’s all that happened, nothing more.  She’s pissed at her boyfriend, they are dealing with that.  But she wants to write the girl, bitching her out and tell her to basically ‘back the fuck off her man and get her own’ (her words).

I gave her my opinion (I’ll tell you in a second what it is) but she wanted me to ask for other people’s opinions too.

MY opinion? NO-NO-NO-NO  She should not contact the girl.  That girl did not force her boyfriend to do anything he didn’t want to with that girl.  Whether drunk or not, he chose to hook up with her.  So the chicks a bitch for hooking up with a guy who has a girlfriend.  But the real person at fault is THE BOYFRIEND.  The issue needs to be with HIM, needs to be taken up with him.  Period. Involving that other girl is only going to cause more drama.  (And you all know how I feel about drama) 

I had a really good guy friend from High School that I had to end our friendship a few years back because despite us being only friends….his wife kept contacting me.  Voicing her ‘displeasure’ at our friendship, sure there must be something more (!!!).  Jealousy is not a characteristic I am a fan of.  I don’t get the mentality that having an issue with your significant other means you should take it up with an outside party.  How about you focus on the person you are trying to have a relationship with.  Duh!

But as I told her, I would bring it up with others.  To get a more rounded opinion than just mine.  So?

*****

HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!

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~ xo

Vixen

I heard a term a bit ago that intrigued me.  Piqued my interest so much so that I went in search of more information.  And the more I learned about it, the more I so completely resonated with.  It was an *AHA!* moment…

Sexual Fluidity.  An idea that eliminates labels.  And suggests that people aren’t attracted to another person because of their gender but because of who they are.  And that one’s ‘sexual orientation’ isn’t always about sex, but about an emotional attachment as well.  No longer does a person’s sexuality have to be tied up all pretty in a perfect little box. 

Once upon a time, there was a certain clarity in the world of
sexuality. Regardless of whether one believed a homosexual orientation
was innate or a matter of choice, the sexual orientations were easily
and clearly defined: Those who were attracted to, and had sex with,
people of the opposite gender were heterosexual (straight), while
homosexuals (gays and lesbians) were attracted to, and had sex with,
people of the same gender. You knew who was who by the gender of the
sexual partner.

As time went on, the waters became muddied a bit by acknowledgment
of bisexuals and their ability to be attracted to, and have sex with,
people of either gender. Initially, they were seen as immature or
confused, either closeted gay people or curious straight people. But
eventually we got our heads around bisexuality and, for the most part,
accepted that it was a real sexual orientation, just like gay/lesbian
and straight.

Some completely straight individuals have unexpectedly found themselves
falling in love with, and being sexual with, those of the same gender,
and some happily gay people have unexpectedly become partnered with
those of the other gender.
~goodtherapy.org

Ah….that last paragraph.  That’s what made the most sense to me.  For most of my life I have only been attracted to females, but occasionally I would find myself drawn to a male.  PC tells people I’m his ‘lesbian wife’.  It takes so much more for me to be sexually attracted to men.  It’s few and far between that I will meet a man that I would even fathom being intimate with.  When things went south with my exH, I had no desire to be with another man.  Ever.  I was done.  And after all, my attraction was to females.  And then I met PC.  Which honestly, when we first met, neither of us had any intentions of becoming more than friends.  I was completely upfront with him that I was only interested in females and had no desire to be with a man ever again.  But well…it’s pretty clear that changed.  *wink*  PC used to love to gloat that he was the one who ‘changed’ me.

And then things changed slightly more this past year. In that I found I could actually be attracted to men.  If I felt that CLICK with *the right man* (where Ashton comes into play… *wicked grins*) . If I opened my mind to the idea.  And maybe initially I was battling with the fact that I didn’t want to be involved or attracted to another man.  But my search (with PC’s help also) for a female friend/playmate for the previous 3 years had resulted in nothing but absolute frustration.  So yeah….I guess I decided to broaden my interests, open myself up to more opportunities.  And hey, that’s worked out quite nicely.

Committing to a sexuality today is like committing to a favorite color for the rest of your life:
What if you love red now but find you prefer green later in life? There are many discoveries one makes about one’s self after having varied life experiences.
~afterellen.com

*****

Hope everyone had a fabulous weekend!  PC has recently decided to make some changes regarding his Jujitsu training and in doing so the kiddos and I have become more involved (as a family).  Very low key weekend but really, really great.  *beaming*

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~ xo

Vixen

(vi.sualize.us)

I’m sure when adults enter into relationships/sexual encounters outside their marriages, everyone has different expectations.  Of what they are looking for, what they desire, what they need, of what they want.  I read a very wide spectrum of blogs.  It’s very easy to see that what one person wants and is hoping to achieve is not the same as the next blog in my feeder I click to.  And it’s pretty fair to say that what the next five bloggers are desiring is probably different from one another….and in turn from me.

I think I am very honest and up front with people I potentially may date- about what I am looking for, who I am and what I have to offer (and not offer…).  Because it’s not unclear in my mind, I feel I am able to present this quite clearly.  I’m not wishy washy about my needs, wants or desires.

But yet….here I am.  Wondering how it can be so difficult to find someone who fits the bill!  I don’t want a fuckbuddy.  I don’t enjoy NSA sex, in fact, I’m fairly incapable of it.  I’m the first to admit it.  I have a family that is fairly time consuming, I live on a farm with a bazillion animals that are definitely very time consuming, I also have a sissy cuck husband that I am in love with and am in no fashion looking to replace (which it’s amazing the amount of people I meet who can’t wrap their mind around that….).  I have a certain amount of time I can make myself available for someone else.  And it does require some planning and forethought.  I guess I want a glorified FWB….I enjoy the friendship aspect.  I also enjoy the ‘benefits’ aspect.  I am an emotional, affectionate creature. Hell.  Ok.  I’m looking for a boyfriend.  PC is the first one that suggested that’s what he thought I was looking for, and well, right, it’s true.

Spring Flower wrote a post a bit ago….about refusing to feel like an after thought.  That it doesn’t require 50 emails/phone calls/texts every day but KEEP IN TOUCH.  She called it a ‘constant flow of little things’.  And I’m so totally with her on this! It’s a small amount of upkeep that goes a super long ways.  I’m not entirely emotionally needy (hey I said *entirely*…snort) but I need a ‘something’ here and there.  I need to feel you’re into me.  And if you are, it shouldn’t be that difficult to show.  Right?  Hmm….

Anyway.  Just thinking aloud because I’ve been frustrated a bit about this recently.  I actually did have a fabulous weekend.  I heard from who I really wanted to… *huge grins* Brownie points! *wink*  And PC and I had several incredible dates. 

So.  Yeah. 
Enjoy your Monday!

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~ xo

Vixen

(click the button for more info, email me if you have any great ideas for a topic, I’d love to hear from you!)

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Kate and Ben have been married for three years.  Recently, inadvertently, Kate found out that Ben ‘experimented’ with other men in college.  Ben had not meant for Kate to find out.  But once she did, he gave her all the details and has told her he was young and experimenting- that that’s what people do in college.  He’s tried to reassure her that he knows what he wants now, isn’t ‘confused’ and knows he wants to be with Kate…  He hadn’t told her before for the exact reason that is happening now. 

She’s pissed and unsure that she even wants to stay married to him.  She mainly doesn’t think she can trust him since he kept this from her.  Something she views as pretty huge.  She also feels that you can’t be with other men and not still be gay.  She says she loves him but can’t ‘risk having kids with a guy that could leave her for another guy‘.

What are your thoughts?  Whose side are you on?

My first thought is…  Ben totally fucked up by not telling her.  IN THE BEGINNING.  Keeping skeletons in your closet is always bad news.  They are going to eventually fall out.  Like in this case.  And yeah….the fact that he kept it a secret all this time, it makes it feel like it was this “super, deep dark secret”.  Had he been upfront and honest with her when they were dating, she might feel differently.  No one wants to feel they know the person they married and then realize they really don’t, that the person they trusted and loved were keeping ‘secrets’  from them.  It does make a person wonder- what else are they hiding????

AND maybe if he had told her up front….he might have seen how close-minded she was.  And maybe HE wouldn’t have wanted to marry her.

I am annoyed at the fact that she doesn’t feel she can have children with him… “because he might leave her for another guy”. 

*rolling eyes*  

Did he tell her he was a virgin before they were married?  (I’m thinking not…)  I mean, shouldn’t she be worried he might leave her for another woman too?!  Ridiculous.  He married HER.  He fell in love with HER.  It doesn’t matter who he was involved with or had sex with previously….he chose *her*.  Hmm, insecure much?

So I see both sides.  But I have to say mostly, I’m on his side.  Because I don’t do well with such judgmental/close-mindedness that she is displaying here.

*****

HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!

(vi.sualize.us)

~ xo

Vixen

~Gray’s Anatomy

I can’t sleep when he’s not here.

No matter how ‘cuck’ our relationship may be.  What adventures and paths I may adventure down.  I want him next to me.  I came in from an incredibly hot (HOT) encounter with Abercrombie….  Cold.  Needy. Exhausted.  Spent.

I woke him from the other room…  I wanted to snuggle into him.  My body fitting exactly perfect within his. I needed his warmth.  His body to entangle within mine.

I needed comfort.  And that is what he gave me.  What he provides me with.

I love him, insanely, intensely so….because of this.  I need him.  To be mine.

(vi.sualize.us)

~ xo

Vixen

(click the button for more info, email me if you have any great ideas for a topic, I’d love to hear from you!)

Her boyfriend proposed to her. She felt it was ‘half assed’ and too soon as they hadn’t been together very long. She didn’t feel like the intention, the moment, nothing was right.

So she said no. Now it’s six months later and she wants him to propose again. She KNOWS he’s the right guy now and is trying to figure out how to get him to ask her again.

First, I think she’s lucky he stayed with her.  I think that could potentially be a pretty big blow to a guy’s ego.  Second, she rejected him the first time, why would he ask her again!?  I feel like the ball is in HER court now.

But that aside.

I ‘get’ it feeling too soon….  But disliking his proposal (saying it was half assed, not the right moment, etc)…  If you met the guy of your dreams and you know you want to spend the rest of your life with him- why does the the way you are proposed to matter?!

HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!

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~ xo

Vixen

(click the button for more info, email me if you have any great ideas for a topic, I’d love to hear from you!)

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“Jane” and “Ethan” have been together since high school. He had been with other women but he was her first and only sexual experience. They married shortly after high school and have now been married four years.  Things got rocky a few months back, Jane was pretty unhappy with her life and wasn’t sure she wanted to be married to Ethan anymore.  So they took a trial separation.  During this time she had sex with two men.  She now realizes that her husband is definitely the man for her.  She thinks sleeping with these other men made her realize how much she really does love and want to be with her husband.

Ethan is hurt and confused and now isn’t sure he can be with her anymore.  He doesn’t understand why it was necessary for her to become intimate with other people for her to realize she really does love him and want to be with him. 

Now.  I know in the past, over somewhat similar-ish topics it’s been brought up that the excuse ‘to see what else is out there’ is lame.  But I have to say I can see Jane’s side.  Should she have thought of the fact that she might be missing out on ‘life experiences’ by marrying so young and after having only been with one other person since high school before she married him?  Well, yes….  But at the time she was head over heels in love (been there).  Blinded by the happiness she felt at the time, the ‘bliss’ of new love (also been there).  Hindsight is twenty-twenty, no?

I don’t think this is uncommon. The guy I dated through high school was who I thought I would marry.  When he broke up with me my senior year of HS, I was devastated.  But once I got over it and began going out with my friends again, going to parties, concerts, enjoying the single life and dating…..I realized what I had been missing out on.  And no, we didn’t get back together.  But I can’t imagine if I hadn’t had that time to do my own thing.

I think it’s normal for her to have felt the way she did.  And I can see how once she’s ‘lived the life’ and experienced other people, she now realizes Ethan really IS the man she loves and wants to spend her life with.  Was the other choice not having a trial separation and her always unhappily wondering ‘what if’ or even worse, cheating on him….  Either of those things could have killed their marriage as well. 

I came across this quote on the topic (granted it references an affair, but still same idea-ish…)

Infidelity has plagued marriages since time immemorial. Even celeb marriages haven’t been spared. But now, experts believe that having an affair can be revitalising for a failing marriage. An affair can actually act as a catalyst to reignite the flames of passion in a lusterless relationship.

I can see how Ethan is hurt.  But I guess what it comes down to is how much he still loves his wife and really wants to be with her.

Can sleeping with someone else save a marriage?

*****

HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!

(vi.sualize.us)

~ xo

Vixen

Friday Favorites-

Three this week and they were…..on my.  Swoon worthy.  I can’t imagine that you missed them, but if perhaps, there was a reason you did, hit them up!

Cheeky Minx…..


Barefoot Dreamer…..

Jas…Evocative Abyss…..

*****

Ostrich-like:  one who attempts to avoid danger or difficulty by refusing to face it

First off. This is coin marked by Roxy. She has accused me of being in “Ostrich-mode” on numerous occasions through out the years. I am the ‘stick your head in the sand, enjoy the situation/life, not wanting to know all the details because they might upset/bother/stress me’ chick.

It’s bad of me.

I admit on most days, I live in ‘pretty pretty spoiled princess land’. Where there are no problems or issues to deal with. Ok, except for the occasional hormonal imbalance. But over all. I am taken care of.  I am coddled.  I make no bones about it. I love being taken care of. I love being spoiled. I love my life.  Once upon a time I kicked ass in the- no one else is going to do it for you but yourself, you’re on your own sweetheart- business.  But these days, problems arrive in my/our life and PC swoops in and takes care of them for me/us.  PC= Prince Charming…..  *swoon*

But.  Occasionally things arise that I need to take care of myself.

Such as. A frank discussion I needed to have. It involved me and a certain someone and I have put it off too long.  *ducking* Far too long. But I was having too much fun! I didn’t want to talk about it. Bring it up.  Risk hearing things I didn’t want to. *she says in an annoyingly whiny voice*
(I did at least take care of this)

Or my Dr’s office that keeps calling me. I need to talk with them. Take care of it. What is the saying- just do it?

But I suck. I hate confrontation. I love everything to be peachy and fabulous. I thrive on it.

Ostrich—->Me

*shrugs shoulders*  Hey. The first step is recognizing…..  ~wink~

*****

Have a fantabulous weekend.  The review I spoke of earlier this week goes up tomorrow.  Check back. It’s a super cute set!

~ xo

Vixen

Have you ever been on such a perfectly perfect date? A date where he wines and dines you…. At the most romantic, bestest place ever. Your favorite place.  Where he has even arranged for a dozen red roses….which you adore.  You feel adored.  A bottle of your favorite wine later….  Kissing.  Great conversation.  He can’t keep his eyes off of you.   Or his hands.  Especially once you reach the car.  And then you know, how sometimes… you just can’t wait until you get home?

~CLICK!~

Yeah. It was like that.

HappyHNT!!!

~ xo

Vixen